Dad needing advice

(57 Posts)
Bouncybear Mon 17-Mar-14 09:12:17

Hi,

I'm a Dad (non-resident parent). Some of my contact with my son is by Skype. Yesterday I found out that the ex has been recording my Skype, presumably waiting for me to trip up and use that against me.

I am not happy that the ex is recording Skype because it is an unreasonable invasion of my private conversation with my son. I feel harassed by her doing this. She said that unless I allow her to record the sessions, then I am not allowed to see my son on Skype.

Am I being unreasonable to tell you I don't want Skype recorded?

Jinty64 Mon 17-Mar-14 11:15:53

Do you have other contact with your child or is all contact via Skype?

Monetbyhimself Mon 17-Mar-14 11:16:28

Howmanyusernames. Yes. It IS considered to be emotionally abusive. The OP is hardly going to admit to any further incidences of similar but believe me, a court childrens officer AND social services take this sort of thing very seriously. The OP has been caught out on one occasion. Lets hope it's enough to make him stop and think about the impact his words have in his child.

LiberalLibertine Mon 17-Mar-14 11:22:57

Yes I would just swallow the recordings demand.

It's so hard to not get caught up in the point scoring, but take the high ground, concentrate on your son, and hopefully over time she will chill out.

Obviously, try not to say anything negative about your ex to your son, that's his mother.

caruthers Mon 17-Mar-14 12:02:27

I don't believe that you should have your talks recorded it sounds very controlling.

However you shouldn't be saying things like that to your child and you really need to take the higher ground ad be better than that as other posters have suggested.

I hope you have a full and fruitful contact arrangement with your child for many many years Op.

Echocave Mon 17-Mar-14 13:47:22

OP. You need to try to focus on doing the best for your son. That may mean swallowing your pride a bit. And battling it out in court even if you don't think you'll get the outcome you wish for.
Otherwise you may honestly lose meaningful contact with your son.
I say this because when my parents divorced in the 80s (and things were actually less easy for Dads on the whole than they are now), my Dad said he couldn't face court/watching my mother 'win' the children etc. unfortunately I as the eldest just thought he didn't care enough and my younger sibling felt they never really knew him. They remain pretty distant. Sad, as my Dad is a really nice bloke.

wouldbemedic Mon 17-Mar-14 14:21:02

I'd certainly be concerned enough to record your Skype sessions. What an awful thing to say. You don't seem to realise how awful, and your son is the one who suffered/is suffering. I appreciate you don't like being recorded, but if you're not saying anything to be ashamed of, I would just forget about it, given that you have said something very harmful in the past. Your ex will only care that her child isn't being damaged.

MoominIsWaitingToMeetHerMiniMe Mon 17-Mar-14 14:54:38

In terms of her using the 'bad' recordings against you, would it be worth you recording the conversations too? And then if she just uses the one bad example and doesn't show anyone all the good conversations, you've got evidence of good, reasonable conversations that you can use in your favour?

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