Even if IABU, should I ignore my gut instinct in regards to a new male worker in DS's nursery?

(353 Posts)
iphoneaddict Sun 16-Mar-14 00:56:49

DH said when he collected DS1 (age 5) from nursery today there was a new male worker in his room. There has never been a male worker there before.

I know most of you will say IABU but I feel very uneasy about this. DH is indifferent.

I know only a small percent of men are abusers and I know women are capable of abusing children and have been convicted of such offences - but I would still prefer him to be looked after by females at this young age.

The vast majority of sex abusers i hear about in the news are men and, whether this is fair or not, this makes me feel slightly less trusting towards men in general this regard. For example, if DS went missing in a shopping centre and was found by someone and looked after for a few minutes I would feel more comfortable if that person happened to be a women.

I also know that children are more likely to be abused by someone they know like a family member or friend of the family rather than by someone like a nursery worker.

DS has occasional accidents in nursery when he's distracted playing with his friends and doesn't make the toilet on time - and I would be extremely unhappy to have a male worker changing his clothes etc.

I know some people think its great to have a male influence for the children rather than an all female staff but this is not important to me. DS interacts regularly with our male relatives and friends so he is not missing out in that regard. I know that is not the case for all children.

DH heard my views and feels a bit sorry for the male worker who he says is just trying to make a living. However, for me my primary concern is feeling my children are as safe as possible.

Also, my other concern is DS2 (age 1). He is in the same nursery in another room. Sometimes the staff swap between the rooms. If the new male worker was in DS2's room - I would probably switch nurseries.

I was thinking maybe about talking to the nursery manager to get some reassurances that he will just be doing classroom work rather than changing clothes etc. I imagine I might come across as a bit OTT for expressing my concerns?

I'm sure many (maybe all?) of you think IABU and irrational about this - but do you think I should ignore my gut feeling on this because it is the politically correct thing to do.

hobnobsaremyfave Mon 17-Mar-14 14:14:07

This is all getting a wee bit ridiculous now.

deakymom Mon 17-Mar-14 14:23:13

your problem is really the fact that it is not a common thing to see i had a male midwife pop in occasionally when i was in labour and male doctors i was fine but my husband was not at all he is used to female nurses and doctors dealing with me (we were out of area) he was most uncomfortable its okay to feel this but not to excess and not to the point of denying decent childcare etc because of it

scooterland Mon 17-Mar-14 14:31:46

So by 'gut feeling' do you mean just the fact that this is a man looking after the children rather than a woman?

Goodness you are completely YABU!

Makes no difference if it's a male or female who does the job.

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