My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

AIBU?

In thinking this is actually not bad for a 9 yr old?

18 replies

nirish14 · 15/03/2014 23:52

My DD(9) asked for laptop to write a story. She loves writing and gets good reports from school regarding literacy.

Below is the first part of her story (I'm not 100% sure how long the finished product will be :) )

Can I ask if you think I'm being a tad PFB in thinking it's quite good?

Doves:

The further I stepped away from the situation my parents were arguing about, the sadder I felt inside.

My heart was pounding as I ran away into the open sky feeling free to do anything I desired. I ran to Swallows Nest to go to the cottage. No one dared to darken at the cottage; as rumours said it was haunted. I never believed them though.

At the cottage it was silent and peaceful. Not the sound of arguing and smashed windows. There at that moment was a tiny chirp. I had to know what it was. Suddenly I heard a flap and there, right at that spot a family of Doves circled ahead of me.

I ran up the hill and sat there on my knees watching the white sparkling Doves fly by. I loved that cooing sound that they made but they tend to head my direction. One Dove stared at me and flew too me and lay on my knee. I smiled and giggled as he pecked me and nibbled at my denim jacket.

The Dove and I watched the Swallows return to their nests but a hunter went and shot one of the Swallows! I couldn't help but cry. The Dove tried to make me giggle again by nibbling at my denim jacket but it just made me cry even more. As I wiped away my tears I got up and gave the Dove some of my water cress sandwich.

I decided to return home and leave a trail of water cress for the Dove to go back home to its family.

OP posts:
Report
CocktailQueen · 15/03/2014 23:58

Yes, it's good. My dd went through a stage of writing just like this. You can tell what they've been learning in school - adjectives, adverbs, etc.

It's great that your dd enjoys writing stories :) what will happen next with this one?

Report
vestandknickers · 16/03/2014 00:02

It is lovely that she enjoys writing. Hopefully she'll use that enthusiasm to really concentrate in class and learn how to develop her writing skills.

Report
nirish14 · 16/03/2014 00:02

CocktailQueen yes she loves writing, probably more so than reading at the moment.

I'm just pleased she's doing ok at something she enjoys,because she does struggle a bit with maths.

As for where the story will go, I have no idea but am looking forward to it Grin

OP posts:
Report
nirish14 · 16/03/2014 00:03

Here's hoping vestandknickers

OP posts:
Report
OpalQuartz · 16/03/2014 00:26

I have a 9 year old dd too and I think that is really very good. I could be wrong but I think even a GCSE student would get good marks for writing like that.

Report
HadABadDay2014 · 16/03/2014 00:57

I want to read the rest now.

I don't think I could write like that, well done to your daughter I bet you are one proud mother.

Report
wobblyweebles · 16/03/2014 01:04

Much better than anything my 10yo DD would write! Very nice.

Report
VeryStressedMum · 16/03/2014 01:06

It's really good she's very talented to write like that at her age.

Report
NatashaBee · 16/03/2014 01:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MissieEverdeen · 16/03/2014 02:05

It's brilliant! A lovely read.

Report
AgaPanthers · 16/03/2014 02:36

YABU for implying that anyone had said it was bad.

Report
nirish14 · 16/03/2014 07:38

Thank you for the lovely comments.

AgaPanthers I wasn't implying anyone thought it was bad, it was just I was unsure if it was as good as I thought it was ( being her mum, most things she does are brilliant in my eyes Grin and wanted some unbiased opinions.

OP posts:
Report
Backtobedlam · 16/03/2014 07:46

That's amazing, she has a real talent there! If she enjoys it all the better-as a child I used to write plays and stories for fun (weird I know) but it was a great outlet for all my worries/thoughts/feelings that I didn't necessarily want to talk about. Writings very therapeutic and with a talent like that who knows where it could take her.

Report
Supercosy · 16/03/2014 07:49

I think that's fantastic, what a great writer she is already!

Report
lilsupersparks · 16/03/2014 09:23

I'm a secondary English teacher. That's better than many year 9 students and shows more natural flair than some sixth formers!

Report
dreampalace · 16/03/2014 09:29

I also think that's GCSE standard - and hope you will tell her that :)

Report
SamandCat · 16/03/2014 09:41

Lovely!

Report
Cocolepew · 16/03/2014 09:45

My 12 yo DD wouldn't be able to write like that, it's lovely.

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.