To be put off by this?

[DomesticDisgrace]

Please tell me I'm being unreasonable! I met this really really lovely guy today and I was hoping he'd ask me out because we hit it off instantly! When I came home he did and I was absolutely delighted, we decided on the cinema and he texted saying "I'll book the tickets, can you look after the grub?"
I can't help but be really put off by him now, I'm disgusted with myself
I haven't been on a date in about six years as I was with my ex and he wasn't working for the majority of our relationship so I'm super scared of ending up with a stinge (this guy is working by the way)

Am I being horrible? It's really put me off him!

[susiedaisy]

It would annoy and disappoint me a bit yes. It's the sort of thing a bloke would text his mate.

[BobPatSamandIgglePiggle]

He might not have been om a date for ages either - are you happy to pay for happy hour dinner? Ifyes book it and go :-)

[lolatu]

What's put you off exactly? That he's trying to split the cost between you?

[HillyHolbrook]

The way he phrased it would make me cringe, but if going halves on tickets/food is the thing that's putting you off then YABU. It's not like he's asking for a three course dinner or for you to pay for it all, so just go somewhere of equal(ish) value to the tickets. When DP an I were dating we would split it that way, or one of us would pay for dinner and the other drinks then swap next time.

Just be wary, if he seems like a tight arse, then get out sharpish!

[DomesticDisgrace]

I don't think he means dinner I think he just means cinema munch? There's nowhere around to have dinnerand it's not going to be a terribly long date because my dad with be babysitting for me.

I'm really disappointed and feel guilty for feeling this way!

[MairzyDoats]

Maybe he meant you should book it? As opposed to paying for it?

[DomesticDisgrace]

It's the way he worded it, I have no issue going halves at all (though I'm going to be totally honest and say I do rather when they offer to pay, which I never ever accept) it's just the fact we're already discussing who buys what and we're not even going for a few days.

[MamaDuckling]

Hmmm I think he meant can you book somewhere, not necessarily can you pay for it?

[susiedaisy]

It does seem a bit anal to be worrying over who's booking tickets and who's sorting out food for a trip to local cinema several days beforehand.

[CocktailQueen]

I dunno. If he's asking you to buy some popcorn while he shells out £25 for cinema tickets, is that a bad thing?? Maybe he's been stung in the last by women who didn't pay their way??

Not a red flag for me, see how it goes. Have fun!

[susiedaisy]

Even if he did mean for op to choose the place for a meal afterwards he's not worded it very well. IMO

[DomesticDisgrace]

Yeah like the cinema is walking distance from both of us and there's nowhere for a meal so I presume he means the popcorn and drinks, Ugh

[susiedaisy]

Yes I would still go and see how you get on. But go with your gut feeling on the date.

[susiedaisy]

Regardless of who pays for popcorn the wording of the text is still crass. IMO

[DomesticDisgrace]

God no I wouldn't expect anyone to pay for me, sure I bought him a coffee today and he tried to give me money I was like "would you get away!" I just hate this Oh I bought this and you paid that business. I even hateIt among friends it's nicer when it just happens naturally.

[Sharaluck]

I would text him to clarify what he means by 'grub'?

It seems a very poorly worded text. But I don't think you should jump to conclusions just yet.

[DomesticDisgrace]

I'll still go but my excited about it has gone a little bit he's such a lovely guy though!

[BumpyGrindy]

Oh yuk. No YANBU.

Firstly it's the rather pathetic checking that it will be a "halves" date that's not very attractive and second it's the use of the word "grub".

I'd have to tell him why I'd not be accepting his "kind" offer.

It's not that you WOULDN'T be happy to pay for the food but it's that he CHECKED!

YUCKY!

[susiedaisy]

Sniggering at the thought of you taking a full packed lunch and getting it out in cinema.

[BumpyGrindy]

I wouldn't bother going OP. As you said "Ugh"....text back and say "What's grub?"

Just to see if he says "It's food..." then you can say "What? Why are you pre-planning the payment of a date at this point!?"

[susiedaisy]

Yep I agree it is pathetic to be checking that op has understood that he won't be contributing to the 'grub' on the night.

[Famzilla]

Would make me cringe tbh. Am happy to pay my way but having it insisted upon before I'd even really met up with the person would make me wonder why the hell they were so uptight. Plus who says grub?

[steff13]

I would clarify what he means. I don't quite see the point of a first date to just a movie. Dating is about getting to know people, not a lot of that is going to happen sitting in the dark not talking to each other. My husband and I sometimes go on movie dates, but we actually know each other pretty well. ;) I would assume he meant you find somewhere for dinner.