To be put off by this?

(545 Posts)
DomesticDisgrace Sat 15-Mar-14 23:39:55

Please tell me I'm being unreasonable! I met this really really lovely guy today and I was hoping he'd ask me out because we hit it off instantly! When I came home he did and I was absolutely delighted, we decided on the cinema and he texted saying "I'll book the tickets, can you look after the grub?"
I can't help but be really put off by him now, I'm disgusted with myself blush
I haven't been on a date in about six years as I was with my ex and he wasn't working for the majority of our relationship so I'm super scared of ending up with a stinge (this guy is working by the way)

Am I being horrible? It's really put me off him!

steff13 Sat 15-Mar-14 23:58:47

I would clarify what he means. I don't quite see the point of a first date to just a movie. Dating is about getting to know people, not a lot of that is going to happen sitting in the dark not talking to each other. My husband and I sometimes go on movie dates, but we actually know each other pretty well. ;) I would assume he meant you find somewhere for dinner.

BumpyGrindy Sat 15-Mar-14 23:59:26

Why give him a chance? He's just showed that he's at best lacking in any grace and at worst that he's a penny pinching twit.

If it's one or the other, neither's good enough.

AskBasil Sun 16-Mar-14 00:00:13

No you're not.

Grub.

That would put me off.

<Hyacinth Bucket sniff>

DomesticDisgrace Sun 16-Mar-14 00:02:56

It just occurred to me that there's a Burger king beside the cinema. Surely he doesn't mean there??

wannaBe Sun 16-Mar-14 00:03:11

good god no wonder people never find a date if this is how hung up people are on things like wording. hmm
How many people aren't sure whether to ask or not to ask about paying on the actual date.... and now here we have one who has an issue with the word "grub," Op you sound like a snob and he would be well rid.

OldBagWantsNewBag Sun 16-Mar-14 00:04:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BumpyGrindy Sun 16-Mar-14 00:04:55

Yummies is worse than grub!

aquashiv Sun 16-Mar-14 00:05:00

Pop into liddl and bring a back pack of goodies. If he's careful with money he will be impressed. If you are then you wont be fleeced. If it's his use of the word grub hmmmm are you really that bothered.

WooWooOwl Sun 16-Mar-14 00:06:05

That would put me off too.

MyFirstName Sun 16-Mar-14 00:07:06

Go. Give him a chance. He may have spent ages agonising over the wording. Not wanting you/feminist beliefs to be offended by him offering to pay, he suggested you could share the costs. Or he may be a bit crass with wording. Go. Find out.

HillyHolbrook Sun 16-Mar-14 00:07:13

You've thought way too far into this I think!

I don't see a problem with him asking if you'll do halves on the date. The only thing wrong is his wording like he's texting another bloke.

Don't fret about it, I'm sure he does just mean grabbing popcorn or whatever. You'll be putting yourself off more by worrying so much! Just play it by ear, if he comes off as stingy later on, then learn from your ex and leave, but if he is so lovely then you'll kick yourself for letting popcorn ruin what could be something goodgrin

cakewitch Sun 16-Mar-14 00:08:07

Just the word 'grub' would have me running in the opposite direction.

MyFirstName Sun 16-Mar-14 00:08:39

X-post. And I agree. You sound rather up yourself tbh.

Famzilla Sun 16-Mar-14 00:08:48

Nothing says romance like going halves on a big whopper!

tulipsaredelicious Sun 16-Mar-14 00:11:25

Go. Maybe he's being considerate, doesn't know what you'd like. Go, find out! And don't be mardy with him and spoil it from the start!

OldBagWantsNewBag Sun 16-Mar-14 00:11:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AskBasil Sun 16-Mar-14 00:11:57

"good god no wonder people never find a date if this is how hung up people are on things like wording"

Don't be too fussy now.

You might end up - shock horror - single

That would be awful. Far more awful than having to spend your life with someone who says grub.

<Snigger>

SomewhereBeyondTheSea Sun 16-Mar-14 00:12:17

Just reply saying 'righteo then' and go along expecting friendship only.

Preciousbane Sun 16-Mar-14 00:12:30

I wouldn't be put off by the use of the word grub but a bit of slang like that just really doesnt bother me. Nor would I be bothered by splitting costs on a first date at all. It's just a first date. Though it is a little odd to be so specific beforehand.

I paid for dinner on DH and mines first date. We have been married for almost 16 years, he has to pay for everything now as I'm not working. He is actually very generous but in those early days it was always a very even split.

trufflesnuffler Sun 16-Mar-14 00:14:50

Grub is the now used by teens to mean blowjobs. so calm down op, you just have to suck his cock in return for cinema tickets grin

MyPrettyToes Sun 16-Mar-14 00:16:47

If I was him I would run a mile. Agonising over a word...

OP, don't bother going. Your posts read as though you have already decided he is beneath you. I agree with wannaBe you sound like a snob.

HillyHolbrook Sun 16-Mar-14 00:17:48

truffle It is? I'm only 21 and I've never heard it before in my life! Now I feel really out of touch, just like I did when I didn't understand the concept of Snapchatgrin

Well if it's that he's after, then YANBU. Bit forward if you ask mewink

trufflesnuffler Sun 16-Mar-14 00:19:33

I may be winding up OP lemonycrickets wink

SinisterSal Sun 16-Mar-14 00:21:56

I know a guy who calls it 'fodder' - like what farmers give livestock

So grub sounds positively posh/

Caitlin17 Sun 16-Mar-14 00:25:22

I don't think there is anything snobbish about being put off by his using the word "grub"

It's a very odd thing to say anyway. You're going to the cinema, what "grub" needs to be organised for that? If, when you arrive one or both of you is hungry or thirsty, then buy something there. I find unless there's been "cock-up on the catering front" I can get through a film without "grub".

If he is the type of person who thinks going to the cinema has to involve buckets of popcorn I would be put off.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now