To think that a 10 year old should not be exposing herself to other children...

(35 Posts)
Inaminutenow Sat 15-Mar-14 22:29:52

My two boys were playing out the back this afternoon, which leads to a lane and connects with a cul-de-sac. As they are only 7 and 4, they are only allowed to play where I can see them. So after a little while, a number of other children from the cul-de-sac and other houses nearby congregated at the back of our house and played. Their ages ranged from about 5 or 6 to 10/11.
I must say I'm not completely comfortable with some of the children, as they show little respect for other children's belongings and some of the older children's behaviour is rude at times. However, I saw a new one today - the oldest girl (10 or 11) repeatedly pulled her top right over her head, completely exposing herself (she only had knickers on)... My boys told me later that she had also showed them her down below bits. WTF?
What should I do? Surely this is not normal for a child of that age? Or is it?

Aeroflotgirl Sun 16-Mar-14 17:51:23

No thebody not at 10/11 it's not ok. She should no better, she is not 4/5. Nor is it Sign of abuse either. Next time op sees it, she should tell the girl not to do it, or keep,her young children away from her.

Aeroflotgirl Sun 16-Mar-14 17:52:34

I just suggested NSPCC as I said I don't know how you would approach it. NSPCC would advice, I did not say ss!

jendot Sun 16-Mar-14 20:46:54

We played 'doctors and nurses' and 'rudies' at that kind of age with the other kids in the street continually.... I wasn't abused, subjected to sexual images and I think I turned out to be a fairly well adjusted adult!! I wouldn't worry too much. Just maybe make sure they are supervised if it bothers you.

Inaminutenow Sun 16-Mar-14 21:46:56

Thanks everyone, I hadn't even thought about potential abuse and I feel it was an attention-seeking thing rather than something sexualised. The main issues I have are her age (thinking that at that age she ought to be aware that it's not the done thing) and also that my children are much younger than her. I wouldn't want them to start copying her.
It's probably impossible to stop the children mixing with each other, so will make sure they are all aware I'm keeping an eye on things. I'll also address the issue when I next see the girl - just mentioning that she shouldn't show her private parts.

crashbangboom Sun 16-Mar-14 21:57:01

OP

It wont let me bring it up but have a look at Brook Traffic light tool. It looks at normal sexual behaviour as well as identifying it as when it is a concern.

I think you should definitely ring NSPCC or Social care for advice. Too many things centre around lack of information and there may be other things going on.

22honey Sun 16-Mar-14 22:03:56

Some people are very naive! When I was 7-8, I used to 'experiment' with my best friend (another girl). The rubbing of genitals etc went on. We were both the same age and I remember the experience coming very naturally. I am straight btw. Neither of us were being sexually abused, it was natural childhood curiosity and I remember I would have been mortified had my parents known. I will add I started puberty early (started sprouting breasts at 7, wasnt very nice).

There isnt anything unusual or unnatural about this. Although I wouldn't have stripped off in the street, it doesnt strike me as that unusual especially for someone 10 or 11 years old, puberty and hormones have hit many by then.

WelshMoth Sun 16-Mar-14 22:12:46

OP I have not read the whole thread, but my DD is nearly 9 and whilst a bit of a tomboy, has twice this weekend, scored in a friendly cul-de-sac footie match and instantly legged it around the place with her top pulled up above her head. She's like a pole and is all ribs snd elbows but got completelh carried away wi her goal.

After all the hilarity and childish jubilance thank God our neighbours have known her and her geeky ways since birth I gave her a thorough telling off and a bit of a woman to woman talk. She was a bit blush and understands why she can't behave totally like oneof the lads.

Is it possible that this was what happened? Is she a 'developed ' 10 year old who knows the score, or is she like my DD and a bit of a lad?

MeanwhileHighAboveTheField Sun 16-Mar-14 22:24:26

At 10 I was still running around playing outside with just a ppair of shorts on!

MrsMook Mon 17-Mar-14 06:54:23

I was late in reaching puberty, didn't have "the talk" until the last term of junior school and was very innocent in that department. At about 9 or 10, I can remember lifting my skirt up in a silly exhibitionist way. With hindsight my friends were beginning to get self conscious about thing like changing for swimming. I was about 12 before I took to covering up with changing, purely because it was conspicuous that I didn't, rather than my own embarrassment. As an adult I just get on with it ib communal changing areas, I can't be doing with the faffing of changing discretly as half the time it draws more attention. At 10, I was very much a little girl with main interests in dolls and my little ponies.

It's worth monitoring because it can be a sign of something more serious, but at that age it can easily be very innocent too.

Aeroflotgirl Mon 17-Mar-14 10:05:26

At 10/11 that really isent appropriate, especially showing young children your privates. Op should keep,an eye on things and tell her if she sees if hears it happening again. At that age you should know better.

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