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Playground related(52 Posts)
I have one ds, he is almost a year old. Now that the days are nicer I started taking him to the local playground, but given that he is only crawling he can't do much. The swings are his only 'activity' and he likes going on them. The other day we were there and probably stayed for about 15-20 minutes. There was a mother with two children of about 5. One went on the swing, the other had to wait because they were all occupied. He kept moaning about the fact that he could not go on, they talked to each other in a foreign language, but in English she said to him that she needed to wait for us to leave because she wanted him and the other child to be side by side.
I was there before her, I would have waited if they were occupied, and I thought anyone would do the same, but it was clear that she was waiting impatiently for us to leave. When we did leave she said in English, 'Finally'. I found that very passive aggressive, and I am still thinking about it.
I know that in life there are bigger problems, but I am also new to this 'baby world', so I might have been in the wrong. Maybe there is an unspoken rule that you can't keep your child on a swing or whatever else for 20 minutes. I thought that if the kid really wanted to go on the swing he could have switched with his sibling, but maybe I am wrong.
Would you have waited? WIBU in thinking that I could give my ds a good time for 20 minutes? If you don't think IWBU, would you have answered back? This just makes me think that things like this will happend again and again, and that I will need to be quicker in replying/thinking about the situation, but I am not used to this!
10 mins is too long if people are waiting.
I am so glad I don't have to push ds in a swing any more. Not sure I ever lasted for 20 minutes though!
She could have got one of her children to swap with the other after 5 mins. Completely her own fault they had to wait 10 mins. 10 mins is only too long for your child to be on the swings, not hers?
When you have two kids (or more) you will know longer find swings exciting and realise why waiting for ten minutes is a pain in the arse!
Loo back to back in one is something I haven't thought of before.
plantsitter I love your post!
It was my ds' second time on the swing, and he loved it, so I thought I would let him have his time, plus it was a nice day and I thought I could not use anything else.
Ok, so ten minutes is too much, from now on less than that if there is a queue.
But yes, they were most certainly both around five. I did wonder afterwards why they did not go straight for the older children's swings, but maybe it was because there were none free when they arrived, I don't know, I did not check that.
And they were 5 and in baby swings?
Yanbu.... She had 2 kids with her, there's no huge deal about 2 swings with your ds in the middle. It's easy enough to push and move between the 2!
10 minutes is still ages to stand waiting for a swing though.
OP can do what she wants but the norm is not to make people wait anything like 10 minutes. Normally (assuming your child hasn't just sat down and has had a good go) you finish up your turn quite quickly.
You don't have to of course but most people would be surprised and cross to be standing waiting for 10 minutes like that for a child that had been on the swing before they even arrived.
Wel, if one child could swing by himself then she was being u because she didn't need them to be side by side. Bizarre.
OP said it was not 20 minutes ON the swing but ten.
YWBU - as PP have said, if you know there is a child waiting for a swing then 10 mins is a long time.
She could have swapped her children around after 5 mins but my DS and DNiece love being next to each other on the swings and look at each other and get all excited so that may be why she wanted the 2 of them on at the same time.
Are ypu saying that you think her children had to take it in turns for 5 mins each and weren't allowed to be on the swings next to each other - just so your DS was allowed 20 mins to himself?
I thought pushing my ds down the slide would actually block 'moving children' from having proper fun, and there were many, whereas being out of the way on the swing was the easy option for everyone.
Why did I not move him. There were siblings on the other side, two in two swings. I was in the middle, then this woman. The mother of the siblings said that she could put them back to back in one, at which point this lady said that she wanted them side by side. She did not talk to me. She wasn't actually pushing the one on the sling, so I did not think it might be because she needed to push both. I thought it was simply more convenient for her but not urgent as she did not address me, so I did not move because I thought that waiting was what people did.
The rules are as follows:
If there's a queue, 5-10 minutes, all the while loudly acknowledging the queue to your non-verbal child and saying '10 more swings' etc.
If there is one other person waiting, it's a contest between you and the other swing-pushers to see who cracks first.
It is kind to swap swings if someone has 2 kids but it's not compulsory and anyway that parent will probably benefit from the exercise running between children while they get cross about not going high enough.
If there's no queue, knock yourself out. Not literally.
But really, just get on with life and stop thinking about it. This is the kind of worrying that can send you insane. Insane.
There were four swings and not all occupied constantly. There must have been at least two side by side other than the one the OP was using. Were they both free at once OP?
I think you were being a bit unreasonable- once I see that someone else is waiting for playground equipment, I would generally give my DCs five more minutes and then swap.
However, the other parent was rude. Why on earth didn't she just ask you politely? Or did she do so? Also, if the children were around 5, why did she insist that they sat next to each other? Most children of that age can keep the swing going for a while if you can't push them constantly. They're also able to understand that they have to wait for others- especially much littler children who can't go on many other things. In fact, surely by 5, they would be able to go on the swings for older children? Could they have been younger than you thought?
I don't think YABU
She was rude and could quite easily have given both of her kids a turn on the same swing.
Thanks this is really helpful!
To be clear.
We were there for 20 minutes, there were 4 swings, my ds was on one, the other three were free/being occupied whilst we were there. She arrived after 10 minutes and had one ds on and one off. I thought 10 minutes were acceptable but it is good to know that it is not so clear cut.
But a question. If 5 minutes are the rule, why should she not have had 5 minutes with one child and 5 with the other?
Why didn't you move your child up to another swing if you were going to stay on so long.
I don't think "finally" is passive or aggressive - it's pretty direct.
Bloody hell, YADBU. If anyone is waiting I give mine 10 more pushes then out they come. And why on earth didnt you swap?
Yabu. How would you have felt if you gad gone to the park and the swings were all occupied for 20 minutes? You should have whizzed him down the bottom half of the slide for a bit or something. You can't stay on a swing for twenty minutes knowing someone is waiting.
I would have said to the mother or the waiting child "ds will be off in five minutes" or something similar.
the woman could have asked your lo to be moved to a different swing but chose to be PA instead so that would have annoyed me in itself.
Why didn't you just move your dc to another swing.
I think 20 minutes is a bit excessive, poor baby probably felt sick!
There is loads non walking babies cam do at parks, you can hold them and help them go down the slide, sit on the bouncy motorbike/animal things, crawl around the low climbing frames.
Why didn't you swap your baby to one of the other free swings when you realised she was wanting them to be on swings side by side? (presumably so she could push both at the same time). I would have offered to do that personally. that way everyone's happy and no moaning/passive aggressive behaviour.
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