Playground related

(52 Posts)
wokeupwithasmile Sat 15-Mar-14 20:25:27

I have one ds, he is almost a year old. Now that the days are nicer I started taking him to the local playground, but given that he is only crawling he can't do much. The swings are his only 'activity' and he likes going on them. The other day we were there and probably stayed for about 15-20 minutes. There was a mother with two children of about 5. One went on the swing, the other had to wait because they were all occupied. He kept moaning about the fact that he could not go on, they talked to each other in a foreign language, but in English she said to him that she needed to wait for us to leave because she wanted him and the other child to be side by side.
I was there before her, I would have waited if they were occupied, and I thought anyone would do the same, but it was clear that she was waiting impatiently for us to leave. When we did leave she said in English, 'Finally'. I found that very passive aggressive, and I am still thinking about it.

I know that in life there are bigger problems, but I am also new to this 'baby world', so I might have been in the wrong. Maybe there is an unspoken rule that you can't keep your child on a swing or whatever else for 20 minutes. I thought that if the kid really wanted to go on the swing he could have switched with his sibling, but maybe I am wrong.

Would you have waited? WIBU in thinking that I could give my ds a good time for 20 minutes? If you don't think IWBU, would you have answered back? This just makes me think that things like this will happend again and again, and that I will need to be quicker in replying/thinking about the situation, but I am not used to this!

Littlefish Sat 15-Mar-14 20:28:56

I think 20 minutes is much too long if there are other children waiting. you knew he was waiting - I think you were a bit mean actually. However, there was no need for the other mother to be rude.

plantsitter Sat 15-Mar-14 20:32:50

Just don't worry about it. She should've asked you directly if she really needed the kid to go on. I would've had them taking turns pushing each other.

I suppose 20 mins is quite a while but there was presumably plenty of other stuff for them to have a go on.

You'll need to harden yourself to this kind of crap if you're frequenting playgrounds though.

wokeupwithasmile Sat 15-Mar-14 20:32:51

Sorry, I should have specified that we were there for 20 minutes, but there was a free swing, in fact more than one, being occupied and becoming available throughout the first ten minutes, so when she arrived one of her kids waited for ten minutes.

But this is interesting. How long would you think is acceptable?

HighwayRat Sat 15-Mar-14 20:33:56

very mean of you yabvu

Littlefish Sat 15-Mar-14 20:34:19

I would say that 10 minutes is plenty of there are other people waiting.

tiggytape Sat 15-Mar-14 20:35:00

Well there’s no rule as such but it is the norm to share if people are waiting.
20 minutes is too long if someone else wants a go and if there aren't any other swings free for them to use. You can't really expect everyone else to keep swapping over one swing so that your child can have a 20 minute uninterrupted go. Well - there's nothing to stop you doing this but other people will get pretty cross about it.

When another child is waiting, the normal thing to do is say to your own child "only a couple more minutes now because this little boy wants a turn" (so the child waiting knows to be patient and your child is forewarned that they're coming off). And then if your child wants another turn you hang around looking hopeful again until his mother does the same.

EatDessertFirst Sat 15-Mar-14 20:35:06

What Littlefish said. When my LO were one they would have been bored on a swing for 20 minutes.

YABabitU. Sorry.

HighwayRat Sat 15-Mar-14 20:35:22

if I know children are waiting dd gets 5 minutes. And if you knew they needed side by side swings why didn't you move your son when another became available?

LongTailedTit Sat 15-Mar-14 20:35:44

Yep, YABU, 20 mins is too long when there are other children waiting their turn.
I usually make sure DS has a good go, 5 mins or so, then move him on to something else. Everyone else should be able to get a turn.
If the place was empty then he could've stayed on as long as he liked, but it's a bit rude to monopolise the swings that long.

Having said that, she was unnecessarily PA, she could've just spoken to you directly and politely.

Finola1step Sat 15-Mar-14 20:35:59

YWNBU. Your ds was in the swing first. But, if the other child was waiting a full 20 mins, that is a tad long.

It is all part and parcel I'm afraid. When ds was v small, we used to go to a park with a massive sand play area. I would take a small selection of sand toys for him to play with. I was constantly shocked by the number of parents who thought our toys were fair game and just sit and watch as their 4 year olds were taking toys out if my ds's hands. I would always stop it but ffs, I was not there to provide sand toys for all and sundry.

It's crap. But if its not the park, it's soft play. Lots of lovely parents out there but there are a number of rude, can't be arsed parents who we all have to put up with.

You do develop a thicker skin.

SayMyNameSayIt Sat 15-Mar-14 20:36:26

Given that your wee one couldn't do much else, I don't think it was too long.

inlawsareasses Sat 15-Mar-14 20:36:41

A 20 minute wait for a 5 year old is an eternity! so you expected the two 5 year olds to share nicely whilst you were unwilling to do the same? waiting for a swing with a small child is a form of torture!

so there was a free swing not beside the one that one child was on but they waited impatiently for your swing instead? I'd have kept your lo on the swing longer just to spite them if that was the case. Your lo had just as much right to the swing as anyone else.

ninaprettyballerina Sat 15-Mar-14 20:37:00

If she is to push the settings the they do need to be next to each other. 20 mins is far too long.
yabu

tiggytape Sat 15-Mar-14 20:37:16

And she probably wasn't being precious in wanting them side by side. It is much easier to push 2 swings if they are close together than if you have to run between the two of them.

tiggytape Sat 15-Mar-14 20:38:18

X post nina (sounds like you've had to do two lots of swing pushing too!)

BumpyGrindy Sat 15-Mar-14 20:38:40

You were not unreasonable to use a swing for ten I suppose...I tend to use things for about 5 if there's a queue though and other parents are the same...they hurry their kids up a bit as otherwise people are waiting. 5 is old enough to go off and play on something while a sibling has a swing though...so she was being a bit odd wanting them to be side by side

plantsitter Sat 15-Mar-14 20:38:55

Yes I've started to go a bit vigilante about sand toy sharing finola. It was costing us loads every summer.

arethereanyleftatall Sat 15-Mar-14 20:39:55

You were on the swing far far too long. 20 pushes absolute max.

WooWooOwl Sat 15-Mar-14 20:39:56

20 minutes is too long when you were aware that someone else was waiting. You were selfish.

Aeroflotgirl Sat 15-Mar-14 20:40:34

Read the op posts, they were in the swung fir 10 mins at tge park for 20. Yanbu at all, the lady was very rude.

daytoday Sat 15-Mar-14 20:40:36

It's not a rule, its just kindness to take turns.

That said, she sounds rude.

MammaTJ Sat 15-Mar-14 20:40:48

I would say 10 minutes is a long time if you are being reasonable, but once the PA comments had started, I would have wanted to keep my DC in the swing for an hour at least, and made PA comments such as 'You are having such a good time in this swing, I don't think I'll ever make you leave' as well.

Vickiyumyum Sat 15-Mar-14 20:41:54

He could have swapped with his sibling but at the same time you were being rude by 'hogging' the swing for your ds.

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