MIL coming to stay to look after daughter during easter hols - bedroom and bed issues

(78 Posts)
bubbles11 Fri 14-Mar-14 13:59:02

DH invited his mother to come & look after our daughter for one week of easter hols
We live 4 hours away from MIL. She is mid 60s divorce with gentleman friend ("GF") who is mid 70s and does everything for her
There is a bit of history re: MIL divorce from FIL and DH response to that but basically he gets on ok with his mother
DH is not good at communicating. In jan this year DH said to me "shall I ask my mother down" to which I emailed him yes but what are the sleeping arrangements and is GF going to come too etc, shall we buy a sofabed (we only have enough bedrooms for me daughter and son). However we have a single bed. DH said MIL can sleep on single bed. GF has now phoned DH and said "am I invited too and I am going to book into b&b". DH now shouting at me that it is going to cost MIL and GF hundreds of pounds in b&b costs and they will have to sleep in our double bed instead and DH and I will sleep on an air bed in the living room. We did this (sleeping on airbed) regularly for christmases when MIL came down when we were first together (early 30s) but now I have two little ones and more than 10 years later - am I being unreasonable to be annoyed that DH has stubbornly refused to buy a sofabed or in any way address the sleeping arrangements? Initially he is suggesting he (DH) sleeps on single bed and I sleep on floor. I am guessing MIL wants GF to come down because she does not want to drive 4 hours herself and GF wants to stay purely because he does not fancy an 8 hour round trip to escort her down and then go home (very reasonable). MIL has previously openly said she dislikes me but I am polite and respectful of her and we have never openly had a fall out. I should just suck it up and sleep on the floor and forget my husbands refusal to buy a sofabed shouldnt i?? By way of postscript I have enough annual leave to take to look after daughter myself and my own parents have offered to have me and son at their house that week so there would be enough beds at our home (MIL and GF in our bed, husband in single bed etc)

puntasticusername Sat 15-Mar-14 08:26:08

I bet OP's "D"H is arguing that he needs the single bed because he's got a bad back or something.

So tell him it's better for his bad back if he sleeps on the floor!

Otherwise, I support the b&b solution - it sounds as if it may well be the option your guests would genuinely prefer, and would be best for you all.

Aeroflotgirl Sat 15-Mar-14 08:40:37

I agree, does your h always treat you like that! Tbh I would put 2 options to him, B&B or you go to your parents! floor noway! I really doubt GF wants to spend tge night in a noisy cramped house, with not much privacy. That's probably why he suggested a B&B.

bubbles11 Tue 18-Mar-14 17:00:45

thanks all for your replies which really helped me
the outcome happily is that GF has booked the next door B&B. I am expecting to be blamed by MIL that it is my fault that GF is paying money but I am going to try to ignore this "logic" often deployed by my inlaw family. Thank you again for all posts which helped me and gave me clarity xx

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