found pictures of me on hubby's PC - don't know what to do.

(429 Posts)

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mummyinbonniescotland Wed 12-Mar-14 19:55:34

Tonight I went onto hubby's pc. He works from home as a photographer. He had lots of pictures up. I closed down some of his folders, but as I was closing one down, I saw it was pictures of my privates (I was a bit absent minded so didn't pay much attention to what it was until I'd hit the x button)

So there were pictures of vaginas. I was a bit wtf? Then I caught sight of one of me, smiling, lower half naked, legs akimbo, on my couch, wearing clothes I recognise.

I don't remember ever posing like that or for pictures of my vagina.

Actually I have once, but that was a close up of a boil on my vagina that I wanted to take to my doctor's appointment (it was a recurring boil that was always gone by the time of the appt so dr had asked me to take a pic next time).

It was taken by DH on my phone and he handed it immediately back to me and I deleted it off my phone after the appointment which was that day.

So i have no idea where all these pictures come from. I'm quite a private person, and I'd never pose for pictures unless like I said above to take a picture to my doctor.

I'm confused and digusted right now. My DD could have come across this, or my hubby's colleague who often comes to the house, or my very prudish parents.

I did confront DH who says he has no idea where the pictures came from, he doesn't remember me posing either apart from that dr appt one. He did a search and couldn't find the folder I closed. I wish I hadn't closed it but I wasn't paying much attention til the last second.

He did keep asking me to go and fetch his phone, cos he was running late for an appt with a client but now its going through my head, did he want me gone so he could hide the evidence?

I have come across porn videos before and porn sites in his internet history which he keeps saying is a virus/pop ups etc. I have never really believed him but I kind of let it go I admit.

This is different though. These are pictures of me that he appears to have taken. To perhaps look at in his own time? But I don't remember posing for them and I never would either. Even if I had, I would have expected him to delete them immediately, not leave them on the PC for someone to come across such as DD.

I just feel dirty and disrespected. I don't know what to do. I've been with him for 16 years now, married for 9, he's my best friend and I know he's never been with anyone else - I do know where he is all the time (he works from home, my parents live in the same street, we have mutual friends).

I don't know what to do, please help!

NC for this

FabBakerGirl Sat 15-Mar-14 13:04:20

OP

You need to get the answers from him for YOURSELF, not us. I can only speak for myself but I am sure I am not the only one upset and angry for you as well as concerned about what exactly your husband has been up too, and will be here to try and help should you want it in the future.

I would be denying him access to anything computer related and tell him he has one more chance to tell you exactly what has gone on or else you will be seeing the police to report him and a solicitor for divorce advice.

Please allow your parents to support you and your child as much as they are able to take care.

SpacegirlRevisited Sat 15-Mar-14 10:27:42

Op you've been incredibly fortunate/proactive to get an appointment with a counsellor so soon and arranged within three days of these awful events unfolding.

I hope that the support you receive helps you to come to the best decision for you and your little one.

Wishing you better times ahead.

SylvaniansKeepGettingHoovered Sat 15-Mar-14 08:56:42

Good luck OP and keep pressing your DH for an answer - after all, he knows what he's done and how those photos got there

Fairenuff Sat 15-Mar-14 08:51:01

I'm glad you have rl support, OP, keep up with the counselling and come back for advice here if you want it. As I said earlier, you don't have to make any decisions straight away and you can also change your mind.

Concentrate on looking after yourself and your dd and take all the time you need to come to terms with this.

Do try to recover the pictures. The most likely option is that he has photoshopped them so it's not 'you' in the pictures, although your face might make it look like it is you. Did the police say they would help with this?

Pennies Sat 15-Mar-14 06:45:20

Good Luck OP. I'm glad you have been able to talk to your parents about this.

AnotherMonkey Sat 15-Mar-14 00:11:22

Good luck OP x

slithytove Fri 14-Mar-14 23:39:35

Good luck, and please do post any outcome you get.

GarthsUncle Fri 14-Mar-14 23:27:50

Take care OP flowers

mummyinbonniescotland Fri 14-Mar-14 23:22:58

I'm trying to get answers, I'm trying to get help to get those answers. I wasn't going to tell family/police etc but I have so I will get answers.

I'm not a troll sad I'm a genuine MNer. I'm sure MN have checked my log in details/history.

Yes I am afraid of being outed/recognised but I've been honest in this thread.

Please realise this is a really difficult time for me. My head's all over the place. I've got a very upset 6 year old and very angry parents now.

I will get answers. I'll take this further if necessary but I may not get all the answers you all want tonight, tomorrow, next week. But I aim to.

I didn't get a long look at the photos but I did notice they seemed to be different pictures from the different nail varnish. I didn't see a boil but then again I didn't look for long. I'm surprised myself that I remember so much. I still can't find the images though but hopefully someone can get them for me.

I'm going to stop posting on here now, but thanks to those who have believed me and offered messages of support.

Gruntfuttock Fri 14-Mar-14 22:26:21

How many of the photos showed the boil you mentioned? Since that's the only time you knew he was taking a photo.

Straitjacket Fri 14-Mar-14 22:09:49

OP have you tried to recover deleted files to see if he deleted them? Or checked hidden files to see if he has hidden them? If not, why not?

MeepMeepVrooom Fri 14-Mar-14 22:09:23

I don't if I'm honest. Certainly not without pants anyway.

slithytove Fri 14-Mar-14 22:00:36

How many of us lie about bottomless on our couch though?

Coldlightofday Fri 14-Mar-14 22:00:29

She was wearing a jumper at the top and nothing below the waist.

That's not suggestive that's odd.

TheVictorian Fri 14-Mar-14 21:55:59

He could of hid his camera and then used a remote to take the shots when the op was in suggestible clothing/poses.

MeepMeepVrooom Fri 14-Mar-14 21:37:00

Sorry Dawn!

DawnMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 14-Mar-14 21:34:32

Hi everyone,

We've taken a look and can't see anything to suggest the OP isn't genuine, so we'd really appreciate it if the troll-hunting comments could be avoided.

Here's a link to explain our policy www.mumsnet.com/info/trolls

MeepMeepVrooom Fri 14-Mar-14 21:33:59

pirate grin

A fingernail fetish?

piratecat Fri 14-Mar-14 21:32:42

maybe he photoshopped nail colour on to the nails?

MeepMeepVrooom Fri 14-Mar-14 21:32:04

I should add I would recognise my hands on close inspection not a fleeting glance.

Keep in mind the OP said she doesn't drink so if she were drugged or such like I presume you would realise something was amiss the next day. I drink and used to dabble with drugs but there is only once I had a blackout which was after taking a prescribed (to someone else) sleeping pill.

If you were tee total and ever had an episode of a black out I'm sure you would remember the not remembering confused does that make sense?

SagaNorensLeatherTrousers Fri 14-Mar-14 21:31:55

Bloody weird!

MeepMeepVrooom Fri 14-Mar-14 21:29:20

I wouldn't. However I think it was the fingernails OP said weren't hers. I would recognise my hands tbf.

Coldlightofday Fri 14-Mar-14 21:23:24

I wouldn't monkey.

But the vagina pictures aren't the OP's.

They are photos her husband has taken, by my reckoning.

Bearbehind Fri 14-Mar-14 21:22:49

Surely you'd have an idea if the 'styling' situation was the same grin

Fairenuff Fri 14-Mar-14 21:21:59

HOW DID HE TAKE PICTURES OF YOU IN PORNOGRAPHIC POSES WITHOUT YOUR KNOWLEDGE?

He really needs to answer this. Either he photoshopped someone's lower half onto you' or he somehow got you into the kind of state where you would have no knowledge or memory.

What you have discovered is awful OP and I feel for you, but you must get an answer to this simple question. Because if he is insisting that it is you, and that he didn't photoshop you (which he is), and you insist you didn't pose for them, then something far more sinister than posting a pic to a computer has happened.

OP this is what you need to respond to if you want support and advice

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