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AIBU?

To ask which are more trouble - toddlers or teens

111 replies

ProudAS · 11/03/2014 12:22

I'm not a parent myself but I am curious

OP posts:
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Uptheanty · 11/03/2014 12:24

Teens without a doubt.

Be warned parents.

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OpalQuartz · 11/03/2014 12:24

I've only had toddlers, but I would think that teenagers are more of a worry whereas toddlers are more physical work. Both can probably be pretty cantankerous! Interested to hear from people who have had both (so know what they are talking about) though.

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OwlCapone · 11/03/2014 12:25

I have a sick teen at home today. He has not left his bedroom in the last 2 hours. A sick toddler would be whiney, needy and irritating.

OTHO, I could wrestle a toddler into submission, not so easy with a nearly 6ft teenage boy.

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OwlCapone · 11/03/2014 12:26

And I'd choose either over a stroppy 8 year old girl.

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BreconBeBuggered · 11/03/2014 12:26

Put it this way - if you have both at the same time, you retreat from teen troubles and collapse into dealing with toddler dramas as though you're relaxing in a warm bath.

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Boysrstupid · 11/03/2014 12:27

Right now I'd say toddler as DD is having an almighty paddy on the floor (reason unknown)

About 2:30 I'll say teenager as a text from Ds school is sure to arrive informing me he has a detention (reason unknown)

Oh the joys...

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OpalQuartz · 11/03/2014 12:28

I found my daughter quite easy when she was 8. I find primary age a lot easier than toddler years

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Binkyridesagain · 11/03/2014 12:30

Both as bad as each other but in different ways (most of the time) The beauty of teens is that there's not as many years to wait before they leave home.

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Lemonylemon · 11/03/2014 12:32

Teens. Definitely. You can't send a teenager to bed early. They can talk and answer back.

I have a DS (16) and a DD (6).

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Uptheanty · 11/03/2014 12:33

I yearn for the challlenges that young children brought.... And i had no idea of how hard things could really get with a teen.

I cannot begin to put it ino words how stressful and all enveloping the stress and drama can be with my dd.

If my marraige & family survive the next 2 years as we've got through the last then we'll be solid.

Unfortunately it may not.

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BertieBotts · 11/03/2014 12:33

I loved the toddler stage. 3-4 was hell, though.

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hoppingmad · 11/03/2014 12:36

For me it's the toddler years, they are hard work and test my patience. The older my dc's get the more I enjoy them and enjoy the relationship.
Dt's are lovely but hard work - they are 2
Dd (10) is moody and irritable sometimes, a complete joy at others
Ds (13) is mostly wonderful. He has autism and we went through nightmare preteen years but he is growing and maturing every day. There were times a few years ago that our relationship was so strained that it was heartbreaking. Now he is my right hand man Smile

I still have the rest of the teenage years to get through though so that might change!

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OwlCapone · 11/03/2014 12:38

I found my daughter quite easy when she was 8

Mine certainly wasn't this morning :) one teen boy went happily off to school with no trouble, one has not emerged from his pit and the 8 yr old girl threw a huge hissy fit when the iPad charger I told her was "somewhere near the sofa" was not touching the sofa but about a foot away on a side table. The resultant strop lasted all the way into school with frequent shouting of "I don't care" when I calmly mentioned how rude she was being.

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impty · 11/03/2014 12:39

Ooohhh this is hard.

Toddler's are very demanding, and can drive you crazy. They are also cute and funny and can melt your heart.

Teens can drive you crazy with worry and fear. Are exasperating, and are funny but less cute. Can hurt you in an argument etc etc.

Both hard in different ways

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eightandthreequarters · 11/03/2014 12:44

Teens. The day-to-day problems a toddler has are almost always easy to resolve. Teens have issues. Big issues, thorny ones that involve friends and goals and grades and drugs and sex.

You don't need to cut up their food for them, though, and do they EVER sleep through.

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KellyElly · 11/03/2014 12:44

Teens sleep though. Some people are up constantly in the night with toddlers or have toddlers who are up at 5am. I think both have their different demands. You could have a teen who helps around the house and is a joy and a toddler from hell who you also have to do everything for. Or you could have a stroppy teen going off the rails and a model toddler who sleeps 13 hours and entertains themselves and never tantrums.

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PurpleSproutingBroccoli · 11/03/2014 12:57

I have two teen girls. In terms of physical work, toddlers are much harder as it's relentless - however, I'd take every exhausting, bum-wiping second of it over dealing with a teen. It's just so simple in comparison. The compensation (for me, anyway) is that life with teens is much more varied and interesting. But Christ, it's an emotional wringer.

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impty · 11/03/2014 13:01

Actually, I've changed my mind. Teens are harder. I never feared for my dc's well being as toddlers because I could control that. I kept them safe.

Teens- you hope you've taught them to be safe. But teens aren't always the greatest at making sensible choices...

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OpalQuartz · 11/03/2014 13:05

What age does it start getting easier again? 20?

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Tailtwister1 · 11/03/2014 13:09

I've only had toddlers and I would love to think they are the most trouble. Sadly from what I read I think I would be wrong.

The teenage years are the ones I approach with most trepidation.

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formerbabe · 11/03/2014 13:17

I was looking forward to my kids to becoming teenagers but not now I've read this. I reckon teenagers must make you worry more but toddlers are demanding and it is constant work. At least when they are teenagers you can work without having to worry about childcare and can stay in bed at weekends!

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popcornpaws · 11/03/2014 13:17

Toddlers are much harder, teens are great, they're more independent, funny and great company in my experience.
Obviously no two teenagers will be the same, but my dd is an absolute joy, she is 17 btw.

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happystory · 11/03/2014 13:22

With teens, you worry constantly where they are and who they are with. With toddlers you know exactly where they are all the time. Sleepless nights - with toddlers it can be exhausting, sapping, draining but I'd have that any time over a coming home late teenager who cannot be contacted and who possibly be up to something unwise.

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Flicktheswitch · 11/03/2014 13:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pixwix · 11/03/2014 13:28

Oooh! deffo both hard but in different ways. Both CAN be difficult to reason with. Both have similarities in terms of parts of the brain/emotions/chemicals etc outgrowing others. Both swing from dependence/independence at lightning speed.

Toddlers are more portable, and with effort, muscles like Fatima Whitbread, and a will of steel, can be hoofed up to their bedrooms for a 'calm down' for a wee while.

Teenagers tend to be bigger than me, and like to argue with me like Jeremy Paxman on a grudge match. it's less physical and more emotional with teens - both require a degree of hostage negotiation techniques.

Having said that, Ds1 is 16, and we've had our ups and downs at times - he is quite lovely, and to see him growing up and developing his own opinions/values etc is great!

Nailbiting at times, as you gradually trust them with more and more stuff, and sometimes you have to rescue em...

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