Hi, hope you all can help because I'm genuinely not sure who's right here.
I have a 3 month old DD who is mixed fed, but mainly breastfed. I had initially planned to EBF but due to c section my milk didn't come in for 5 days and I had to top up with formula (docs advice). I had to make a huge effort with feeding and pumping to get my supply up to the point that DD only gets 1 bottle before bed. She also had a tongue tie which was snipped about 5 weeks. This made things a lot easier. So many times I thought about giving up and was basically counting down the days until she was 6 months so I could stop. I know it's a personal choice, but this is the point I wanted to feel until. Over the last month or so, I started to find it a lot easier and DD was lasting a decent time between feeds and sleeping better at night.
So I've really started to enjoy breastfeeding and DD much prefers it to taking a bottle. She has also started teething early and it is the main thing that soothes her. So I was now planning to BF until at least 6 months then see how we got on.
I have suffered with depression and anxiety on and off for years and this really flared up during my pregnancy. I have still been really struggling since DD has been born. I haven't been able to get out of the house too much or get myself into a great routine with the housework. The only thing I have really been able to do is look after DD. I have been having lots of paranoid and irrational fears and crying every day. I finally managed to follow through with a doctors appointment, after cancelling others at the last minute. I've also restarted a computer based CBT program at the doctor's surgery.
I have resisted taking anti depressants for years because I thought it was better to try to do it 'on my own'. This isn't working for me though and I don't want my DD to suffer.
I've been prescribed 10mg per day of paroxetine. The doctor said only a very small amount will go into the breast milk, especially as he has prescribed me half the normal starting dose. He said it is safe and not harmful to the baby.
My DP is really against anti depressants as he thinks there are many self help techniques which would work better. He has seen family members take them and feels it wasn't a positive experience.
Both my mum and sister have taken and do take them (respectively). Both have said they have helped so much and my mum had no trouble coming off them.
So when I came home yesterday with the pills he wasn't pleased. I told him it's my choice and I am having regular reviews with the doctor to check how they are working out next week then 2 weeks later.
He is insisting that I don't breastfeed DD in case if affects her. I understand where he is coming from, but I trust the doctor's advice.
My mum also tried to speak to him over the phone but he would not budge. My mum suggested to me that I should offer a compromise in that I will stop breastfeeding if he doesn't make an issue of me taking the tablets. She says I have done well to persevere through the tongue tie, depression etc and 3 months is more than a lot of people manage.
I did offer the compromise which was agreed. My dp then put me on a bit of a guilt trip, saying I was selfish to give up breastfeeding just to take these tablets. We have talked a bit more and he has agreed not to guilt me about this again.
The thing is, I'm not ready to stop. I breastfed her during the night last night when she was up and have done so today while he is at work.
I don't know what to do. It is too abrupt to just stop like this. I can't just continue to do it in secret.
I feel like I shouldn't have to lie. I do also agree that he should have a say in how she is fed, but there isn't really a compromise. I'm so torn.
And advice?
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WIBU to keep breastfeeding?
29 replies
pastaNcheese · 08/03/2014 11:27
OP posts:
Chunderella ·
08/03/2014 11:40
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Message withdrawn at poster's request.
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