to not want to hear about dp's sex/erotic dreams

(33 Posts)
theblackbag Thu 06-Mar-14 22:02:31

Practically every morning my partner feels the need to give me the full details of her dirty dreams from the night. Is this usual and what is it I'm expected to do with the information beyond smile and nod my head glumly?

scarletforya Thu 06-Mar-14 22:06:01

Yanbu.

Either she's a bit dozy or she's seeking attention and deliberately doing it to upset you.

What makes her think this is ok?

lessonsintightropes Thu 06-Mar-14 22:06:33

Is she trying to turn you on for a bit of morning nookie? I occasionally try this tactic when I know DH is already mentally doing chores and I'd like an extra half hour of time in bed, and he needs distracting.

lessonsintightropes Thu 06-Mar-14 22:07:08

But I always make it about him!

quietlysuggests Thu 06-Mar-14 22:07:27

If it involves you then great.
If it is always about someone else, just ask her to stop.

curiousuze Thu 06-Mar-14 22:08:22

YANBU. Hearing about other people's dreams is really boring.

daisychain01 Thu 06-Mar-14 22:09:05

I suppose it depends if the dreams include you, or as scarlet said, is she attention-seeking?

Is she expecting you to say " whow that's fantastic..." Or some reaction?

theblackbag Thu 06-Mar-14 22:09:17

Definitely not seeking nookie as we cosleep our DD.

pomdereplay Thu 06-Mar-14 22:09:29

Perhaps she is trying to start a conversation in a less-than-elegant way. Do you talk openly about your fantasies and desires? Maybe she wants it to be a two-way street and wants you to open up too.

theblackbag Thu 06-Mar-14 22:12:47

Very rarely about me unfortunately, often about people I work with or Tom Hardy. The latter is understandable I guess sad

Allergictoironing Thu 06-Mar-14 22:13:14

Definitely not seeking nookie as we cosleep our DD.

That could be the problem there? Cosleeping your DD has got to have an effect on your sex life, maybe she's trying to hint that she wouldn't mind having a bit of rampant sex along the lines of her dreams - or any sex at all.

theblackbag Thu 06-Mar-14 22:23:44

That may be some of the issue but she does tend to have verbal diarrhea in the mornings with her dream recall.

scarletforya Thu 06-Mar-14 22:29:39

Tell her to put a sock in it. If a man was doing this everyone would be outraged.

I think it's really rude of her. It's also a bit creepy that she's sharing these dreams while your Dd is around.

Tell her to keep it to herself.

theblackbag Thu 06-Mar-14 22:33:00

Thanks scarlet really nice to realise I'm not been crazy thinking she is going to far. I will certainly try and talk to her about it. I just really don't want to come across prudish, because I'm really not.

SleepOhHowIMissYou Thu 06-Mar-14 22:34:29

Sounds like a case of blue tubes (the female equivalent to blue balls).

There is something you could do about it.

Do you ever get any time away from DD when you're alone?

If no, perhaps you could make time.

HappyGoLuckyGirl Thu 06-Mar-14 22:37:56

I think it's completely out of order for her to be sharing her sex dreams with you, especially when they involve your work colleagues! shock

Tell her to keep her gob shut.

Meepers Thu 06-Mar-14 22:43:33

Wow YANBU. Tell her tour not interested. I rarely remember dreams but the ones I do I don't share. Mainly because nobody gives a shit and also because on the rare occasion I do remember they are crazy.

I did have dreams about Brendan Brady (the Hollyoaks character) while pregnant. Nobody would ever really want to hear about them...

Puttheshelvesup Thu 06-Mar-14 22:48:21

About your coworkers? this is very rude! at best very inconsiderate and thoughtless, at worst very cruel and designed to hurt your feelings. Actually, just thought of a third reason, a misguided attempt to turn you on somehow. Whatever the reason, if you don't like it you need to tell her and request that she stops.

MostWicked Thu 06-Mar-14 22:49:46

Maybe she is trying to spice up your sex life a bit.
I can understand you not wanting to hear about her thoughts about other men, its a bit off for her to talk about them (unless she is trying to make you jealous or suggest a 3some), but do you not want to know her fantasies?
I would tell her that you don't like hearing about her dreams about other men, but maybe she could tell you what she would like to do to you?

theblackbag Thu 06-Mar-14 22:54:01

Another issue that may feed into this is that she often doesn't trust me when I tell her that I don't remember my dreams. I never do but she seems to think I'm holding back. Should I make up something about a film star to satisfy her?

theblackbag Thu 06-Mar-14 23:16:30

Mostwicked she only ever wants to hear what I want to do to her, she goes rather shy when I ask her what she wants to do with me. Occasionally she will mention a threesome but such a thing is totally incompatible with our lives.

meditrina Thu 06-Mar-14 23:20:33

Telling other people your dreams is always egotistical, as it's seriously boring (unless you are a skilled story teller). It doesn't really matter what they're about.

So it seems she is a little unaware of the impact of such repetitive dullness.

What is communication like between you generally?

My DH likes to tell me his dreams but I can never really concentrate - the plots are sooo complicated smile

NoodleOodle Thu 06-Mar-14 23:27:47

It sounds like she's finding something lacking in your sex life together. Have you asked her why she tells you the dreams, or told her how it makes you feel?

GarthsUncle Thu 06-Mar-14 23:29:37

Are you enjoying your first day on Mumsnet, OP?

Make up a really boring dream about walking through a desert and a bowl of chrysanthemums?

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