to feel a bit upset at nurse's comment

(73 Posts)
almostheadgirl Thu 06-Mar-14 22:01:25

It would be great to get your perspective on this as I admit I may have been over-sensitive.
Joined a new GP practice this week. The nurse did all the usual checks, BP, height, urine etc - then she asks me to pop on the scales. No problem...Now, I have been working hard at losing the baby weight, am finally very happy with my size and consider myself to be reasonably 'back to normal' (ish!). I'm almost 5ft 9 and weigh 10 stone. She looks at the scales and goes "Hmmmm, not bad."
I felt quite upset. I said to her, I am almost 5ft 9... and she just smiled. It just struck me as a bit insensitive. I don't think I'm in any way over weight?! Is it just me being sleep deprived and pathetic to feel a bit insulted by this?

PicaK Thu 06-Mar-14 22:34:27

Isn't"not bad" just the British equivaent of saying "yeah fabulous, well done".

almostheadgirl Thu 06-Mar-14 22:38:35

Ha PicaK, that made me smile!

Alisvolatpropiis Thu 06-Mar-14 22:39:42

Sorry op, that read in a less jovial way than I intended it to blush

pyjamaramadrama Thu 06-Mar-14 22:42:33

She won't have known you've been working at it and probably meant nothing other than it's not a bad weight.

For what it's worth I think 5"9 and 10 stone is fantastic, I'm 5"6 and 10 stone I wish I was lovely and tall like you.

littleducks Thu 06-Mar-14 22:43:02

at my check the nurse looked surprised at the scales and said 'ooh mummy is heavy' to my kids

Twitches2 Fri 07-Mar-14 11:44:16

Almostheadgirl - don't feel bad: I am six foot tall and weighed 12.5 stone - stood on scales with nurse, telling her I was steadily losing weight and, whilst I was within healthy weight range, my goal at Weightwatchers was 12 stone on the dot.

Her exact words were: "Well you don't want to go any lower than that, cause it'd look awful 'cause of your big joints"

TulipOHare Fri 07-Mar-14 11:49:30

No, I get you OP, I'd have taken "not bad" the wrong way too, ie "could be better". I'm sure she didn't mean it that way, though, given that you are undeniably on the light side for your height.

BarbarianMum Fri 07-Mar-14 11:53:00

Round my way, 'not bad' is used as an understated compliment. It confuses my SiL (from California) who is used to more direct and effusive praise. smile

FabBakerGirl Fri 07-Mar-14 11:56:12

"Not bad" does insinuate that it isn't good though so I think you aren't being over sensitive. She could have said you have done well to lose the baby weight or just said nothing at all. Why she thinks she cares what you think......

BumWad Fri 07-Mar-14 11:58:15

Stealth boast

Floggingmolly Fri 07-Mar-14 12:00:37

"Not bad" is not quite ambiguous at all confused. Short of a round of applause and a brass band playing in the lobby on the way out; what exactly were you expecting?
It sounds to me that you're more insulted at her failure to pay due homage to your hard work in getting your weight down, than the fact that it was an insult per se.

OpalQuartz Fri 07-Mar-14 12:04:32

She was probably on auto pilot and said it without really thinking. Probably says it to most people who aren't huge.

DeWe Fri 07-Mar-14 12:14:56

My df (who does a lot of sport and is careful what he eats) came back put out from a colesterol test once. They'd looked at the result and said "not bad". He'd wanted the statement "For someone of your age that is amazing" grin

Latara Fri 07-Mar-14 12:20:45

''Not bad'' is actually a compliment. It means ''good''.

FFS nurses can't say anything right. Maybe we should just all say nothing.

Topseyt Fri 07-Mar-14 12:24:44

I really wish I could ever get down to 10 stone, and I am nowhere near your height.

Don't let it bother you. Some people are just not effusive with their praise, so maybe that was all it was. The phrase "praise from xx is praise indeed" could apply to her.

FWIW, "Not bad" from me is the equivalent of "that's good". And "that's great" from me is like someone else going "wow, fantastic".

And I know I'm not the only one.

I nearly always understate something rather than overstate it like the American fashion for going "awesome" for something that's barely adequate

So I wouldn't get too upset about the comment. You did say she said it with a smile, so to me that means she was happy about it, not dismissive.

kilmuir Fri 07-Mar-14 12:55:30

I am at least a stone overweight. Auxillary weighed me and tutted about less of those cream cakes might be a good idea. Told her it was a bit rich coming from her. She was as broad as she was tall!

crikeybill Fri 07-Mar-14 13:11:43

Not bad with a smile is fine. Bloody hell what was she meant to say!

" well done you look amaaaaaizing you skinny mare you !! "

oh and....cough.....stealthboast....cough...

Pollyputthekettle Fri 07-Mar-14 14:00:59

YABU and a bit daft. It's not as though she reeled back on horror and exclaimed "hey fatty boom boom!" grin

Gruntfuttock Fri 07-Mar-14 14:04:49

kilmuir "I am at least a stone overweight. Auxillary weighed me and tutted about less of those cream cakes might be a good idea. Told her it was a bit rich coming from her. She was as broad as she was tall!"

What did she say to that, kilmuir?

innisglas Fri 07-Mar-14 14:10:09

You are sleep deprived, poor thing. You are a new patient, she doesn't even know if you have weight issues. Actually you sound on the thin side, I hope you haven't overdone the dieting because that might be affecting how you feel too

RedFocus Fri 07-Mar-14 14:20:44

I think you'll find that she probably thinks your heading for being underweight. As long as you are not intending to lose anymore you'll be fine.
Well done for losing the baby weight! grin

TheReluctantCountess Fri 07-Mar-14 14:22:36

I agree that it's a stealth boast.

MostlyMama Fri 07-Mar-14 14:39:36

I think you are nitpicking for something to find offence at tbh.

purplebaubles Fri 07-Mar-14 14:41:45

I would say that's skinny for your height!

Probably jealous grin

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