AIBU about not being consulted about kitchen handles?

(26 Posts)
jemimapta Thu 06-Mar-14 18:22:54

Had an extension built and new kitchen put in, builder asks me and hubby about position of all the handles, we talk about the options and i say when they arrive lets hold them in position and see what looks best - difficult to make a decision without seeing it. This morning builder says can we have a meeting about it today and decide, I come back from picking up son from nursery to find hubby and builder have had meeting and fitted them in what I think is wrong position, cant change it now but feel upset every time i look at beautiful new kitchen, am a little hormonal with twelve year old, three year old and newborn and been living in building site for months, just annoyed at being asked to decide then coming home to find its been done 'wrong'

FunkyBoldRibena Thu 06-Mar-14 18:27:42

Why are they in the wrong position? Where should they have been?

I can't imagine how handles could go, other than in the centre of the drawers.

jemimapta Thu 06-Mar-14 18:34:48

I feel they should be central vertically and they are two thirds up as it were, its not the end of the world, think i'm more annoyed to be asked and then it to happen while I'm out for 30 minutes?

everlong Thu 06-Mar-14 18:37:05

I'd be annoyed too, especially after saying you wanted a group decision.

But it's done now. Let it go. You have a lovely new kitchen smile

What kitchen did you go for?

Topseyt Thu 06-Mar-14 18:37:13

In what way are they wrong? Are some of them perhaps too high up for you to reach easily? That is where I have to lay down the law a bit in this house - my hubby is well over 6 feet tall, yet I am a short arse rather "vertically challenged", shall we say. wink

If my husband puts something up on the wall without consulting me then you can virtually guarantee that I will hardly be able to reach it (or see into it, if it is a mirror).

Do they just not look quite as you had expected? Can you not get used to them?

That would drive me bonkers. I was very particular about which way my handles went on my kitchen cupboards blush

Cabrinha Thu 06-Mar-14 18:38:25

It's the very definition of a first world problem smile but yes - they should have waited! If it helps, my ex husband was a bugger for doing house stuff that wasn't just as I wanted it. The divorce was for other reasons! I did find I got used to things pretty quickly - I'm sure you will too. They totally should have waited though!

jemimapta Thu 06-Mar-14 19:25:24

lol, I agree its a trivial issue and i'm annoyed with myself for being upset, if the cabinets had come to the handles already on it wouldnt be an issue, i'm cross with hubby as i specifically asked him not to make decisions without me, this house used to be his and his ex's and despite us having two children together i'm still trying to put my stamp on the house years later, the new kitchen was a big thing for 'us' and now i just see the flipping handles and it doesnt feel like mine?

Shonajoy Thu 06-Mar-14 20:23:34

I'd be annoyed too. Have they ALL been out on, if not I'd be getting another door for the one that's been fitted incorrectly, otherwise it will always bug you.

truelymadlysleepy Thu 06-Mar-14 20:26:45

I'd gutted too. Have you talked to the builder about changing them or is it too late?
They will irritate you for a bit then you'll get used to them.

Hassled Thu 06-Mar-14 20:28:18

So it's not really about the handles then is it? You want your home to feel like your home, and it obviously doesn't. I don't blame you for being upset.

Are you on the deeds of the house? Would that help?

littlewhitebag Thu 06-Mar-14 20:29:57

The handles on kitchen cupboard are usually almost at the top of the bottom units and almost at the bottom of the top units. They would be awkward to open otherwise - you would need to bend down/reach up too far.

littlewhitebag Thu 06-Mar-14 20:33:45

I took a picture to show you mine but i can't post a picture on AIBU.

Piscivorus Thu 06-Mar-14 20:55:14

I can understand you being cross about not being asked but agree with littlewhitebag that handles are usually not centred vertically. That might look a bit odd

Amandine29 Thu 06-Mar-14 21:02:12

I think she means they should be centred vertically on a drawer, not a cupboard.

OP I would be really pissed off about this as well. It's not just the handles (although that would be enough), it's that they didn't care what you wanted. And it will be you who notices. Like someone said above, if they haven't done all the drawers (and maybe even if they have) I would buy new ones.

jemimapta Thu 06-Mar-14 22:39:34

yes its the drawers not the cupboards!

KeatsiePie Fri 07-Mar-14 03:53:44

Oh that would really irritate me. And as Amandine said you'll be the one who will keep noticing.

I'd have to do something else to fix it. I imagine you can't move them b/c of the holes in the wood. So I'd go find a different set of handles that you like better, same dimensions so you can swap them out with these, and swap them. I mean, I know you probably liked these, but they'd be ruined for me now, I'd have to move on and get something else to make up for the positioning.

You might even find some that look pretty good to you in the "wrong" position.

bragmatic Fri 07-Mar-14 06:27:24

Oh, see I'd prefer they were 3/4 of the way up, vertically.

AuditAngel Fri 07-Mar-14 06:46:05

I would just be happy it was something I hadn't been left to sort out grin

How many drawers is it? If you feel that strongly, consider what the cost of new drawer fronts would be and change them. It might make DH consider checking next time. TBH it wouldn't bother me, but can see why it upsets you.

fairylightsintheloft Fri 07-Mar-14 06:58:33

is the builder very experienced? I only ask because when we had a bathroom he refused to do anything unless he has checked it with me as well as DH (whose flat it actually was) because he said that women care much more about stuff like that (in general obviously) wheras men wouldn't notice or care about which way round tiles were, or the height of handles or whatever. He'd had numerous jobs where the husband had said do X and then the wife would have a totally different view and care to the extent that work needed to be redone. YANBU to be miffed but if it realy can't be changed I guess there's not a lot to be done. Enjoy the shiny new kitchen. smile

jemimapta Fri 07-Mar-14 09:37:14

thankyou everyone, feel better after a good nights sleep, now just annoyed at the drilling and thick layer of brick dust over everything...it will be worth it in the end, going out for the day, sick of me and kids breathing in dust and listening to saws, hammers and drills!

BrunoBrookesDinedAlone Fri 07-Mar-14 10:13:38

It's about more than handles, which is why I'd insist on new cupboard doors. Pricey, but I'd say making it clear that I wasn't a second-class citizen in the house and that yes, my opinion isn't one that gets to be disregarded - without price, really.

shewhowines Fri 07-Mar-14 10:17:35

I'd be upset too. If DH understood why I was upset and apologised, meaning it, then I could move on. I would find it harder if he didn't realise his mistake.

mamas12 Fri 07-Mar-14 15:29:00

If it was me and I have been in this position I'd make them change it to suit you
It's their mistake and it should definitely be rectified and it will show that you will not be ignored again
They have made more work for themselves by trying to exclude you
I'd do it again that way

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