To think this parent was rude? (And unreasonable!)

(151 Posts)
curiousgeorgie Thu 06-Mar-14 12:44:22

Took DD to nursery today... Yesterday she had a bad fall resulting in A&E for the day (the nursery called me to take her) and they had said to keep her off for the rest of the week but she was desperate to go today and wear her costume. She's looking a bit beaten up with a huge fat lip, graze on her forehead and bruise on her cheek. The nursery teacher told me that it was due to another boy pushing her to the floor and stepping on the side of her face (!!).. I get that accidents happen, but still annoying. I was informed that his mother would have to sign a form that an incident took place.

The parent in question turned up today and totally ignored me, her son wasn't dressed up and another mother asked her if she hasn't known about it, and she said 'yes, but with the stress of yesterday with seeing Mrs X about that girl... and how upset he was I just couldn't get a costume together!'

Well, her son doesn't have a mark on him, and my DD did nothing. So how he's stressed I have no idea. 'That girl' was nice too!

If it had been the other way round I wouldn't have made a big deal, or I would have apologised.

AIBU?

MostlyMama Thu 06-Mar-14 12:46:19

I'd have laughed really loudly. Aw diddums, all stressed cause he beat someone up? She's going to have fun with him in a few years.

MostlyMama Thu 06-Mar-14 12:46:36

oh and YANBU in the slightest.

WorraLiberty Thu 06-Mar-14 12:47:07

I think there was nothing wrong whatsoever in what she said.

Of course she was stressed because her child did something so nasty to yours. If she can't remember her name then 'that girl' will do.

She really should have apologised though

I would have done, no matter how mortified and stressed I was.

WorraLiberty Thu 06-Mar-14 12:48:14

Mostly so you wouldn't be at all stressed if your child beat someone up?

formerbabe Thu 06-Mar-14 12:49:36

Mostlymama...I think 'beating up' sounds a bit harsh...they are toddlers!

curiousgeorgie Thu 06-Mar-14 12:50:41

Worra - she knows my daughters name. I'm 95% sure anyway...

And there were about 5 of us at the gate when she showed up. It was bloody awkward confused

I assumed she would just be normal and say hi at the very least!

ThefutureMrsTatum Thu 06-Mar-14 12:51:03

YANBU - she should have asked if your DD was ok at least. And she used you as a scaoegoat for not bothering getting an outfit together.

Mandy21 Thu 06-Mar-14 12:51:04

I'd have said, very politely, "that girl was my daughter. There has obviously been an incident and to a certain extent, there will be rough and tumble, but we spent the day in A&E, you only have to look at her face to see what happened, but to be honest, if I'd have been in your shoes, I'd have phoned the parent last night to apologise for my son's behaviour".

Joolsy Thu 06-Mar-14 12:51:34

She was rude to ignore you. I would have had to say something, at least making my child apologise to yours. I sincerely hope that the nursery, and the other mother, are taking steps to ensure this doesn't happen again. Your poor DD.

formerbabe Thu 06-Mar-14 12:51:40

Op...did the other mum know you were the mum of the girl that her son hurt? I wouldn't know whose parent was whose at my dds nursery.

WorraLiberty Thu 06-Mar-14 12:51:57

She's probably mortified OP

She should still force herself to apologise though

Joolsy Thu 06-Mar-14 12:52:19

PS - it doesn't sound like an accident from what you said

curiousgeorgie Thu 06-Mar-14 12:53:06

She does, I was talking to her last week about prams. She knows I'm 'that girls' mum..

angelos02 Thu 06-Mar-14 12:54:54

yy mandy21

I would be mortified if a child of mine caused any pain and suffering to another one let alone the extent of the damage described in the OP.

formerbabe Thu 06-Mar-14 12:55:03

Then yes, she should have apologised. In fact if my child had hurt another so badly they had to go to hospital, I would probably buy a small gift as an apology.

MostlyMama Thu 06-Mar-14 12:55:11

I meant the kid

curiousgeorgie Thu 06-Mar-14 12:56:45

Well, I'm sketchy on the details. When they called me they said she'd collided with someone and hit her head. When I got there the teacher (a different one in the office) said that a boy had knocked her over and accidentally trodden on her. Because she looked like crap! Her shirt was covered in blood and she was really shocked, her mouth didn't stop bleeding for hours. And then when I signed the incident form it just said she was intentionally pushed.

So, not sure which one to take.

Do you think she knows which child your daughter is and that you are her mother? If my child did that to another I would want to apologise, but I don't have a clue who the other children at nursery are and who their parents are. Typically the nursery doesn't tell us the names of other children involved in things which would prevent us from finding the parent and apologising. Luckily incidents have been trivial so far, the worst being my daughter getting a black eye.

I think that I would find it very stressful if my child injured another. It is just unlucky that you overheard the conversation.

curiousgeorgie Thu 06-Mar-14 12:59:11

Breathe - I'm fairly certain she knows who me & my DD are.. And if she didn't my daughters face was clue enough I think.

Kendodd Thu 06-Mar-14 13:03:11

Do you think she knows who her son injured? I know a school wouldn't tell a parent who a child had injured, just that they had hurt another child.

That's the only reason I can think of why she wouldn't have apologised to you as soon as she saw you.

curiousgeorgie Thu 06-Mar-14 13:06:27

Well, they told me who pushed her, so I assumed she knows who he pushed?

Kamer Thu 06-Mar-14 13:07:36

I'm not the confrontational type but I don't think I would be able to have stopped myself from saying something along lines of "you had a stressful day, at least you didn't spend it at A&E!" when I overheard that conversation. Unless she is scary type?

I can't believe she hadn't been in touch to apologise already. My DS once was (accidentally) responsible for sending another child to A&E (collision in playground, DS small bump on head, other child broken nose). I was mortified and went to the child in question's house with a get well card and small gift. Also I found the other mother really wanted to hear the details of exactly what had happened, as, as in your case the teachers had been vague about how the accident had occurred.

BoulevardOfBrokenSleep Thu 06-Mar-14 13:14:21

I'm really surprised they told you who the boy was.

TBH, if it was my DS, I wouldn't apologise, for fear of outing him as the one who'd done it if you didn't know blush. Although I would be trying to hide from you at the gates...

I suspect the teachers are 'vague' on the details because they didn't see it happen. Sounds like he charged into her full pelt, which could have been accidentally, on purpose, or accidentally-on-purpose hmm

curiousgeorgie Thu 06-Mar-14 13:15:20

They told me, first at the office and then when I signed the form. Didn't imply it was a secret.

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