AIBU to think that kids in year 7 upwards don't require after school care?

(69 Posts)
Blueskiesandcherrypies Thu 06-Mar-14 12:34:40

Or do they? Genuine question as mine aren't at that age yet but I would like to go back to work when my youngest starts school, my eldest two will be in years 7 and 8. I will send youngest 2 to after school club (foundation and yr1) but am unsure whether older two will need some sort of club/childminder? They are sensible kids. Is there a law or guidance?

SingingGerbil Sat 08-Mar-14 10:29:18

My son will be in year 7 and will still be going to his grandma's after school at least for the first year, if not the second as well. I don't get back til 5.30 and I think it is a long time for an 11-12 year old to be on his own. He does go and play in the field opposite her house so has freedom.

smoothieooo Fri 07-Mar-14 12:20:43

I had this problem with DS1 and 2 who were in year 7 and 8 at the time. STBxH and I had just separated and he did shift work which meant that previously he was on hand a lot after school. DS's go to different secondary schools so DS2 was at home for at least an hour before his brother got home and I returned at 6.30 each day. Plus they didn't get on at all (youngest would bully his brother). Eventually I sat down with them both and had a chat about how difficult it was for me to continue leaving them at home and that I would have to look for an after school childminder. Neither of them wanted that so both bucked their ideas up a bit. I used to set them chores and get them to start dinner occasionally which helped. It's much easier now they're in years 9 and 10 - but they still don't really get on (chalk and cheese) sad

I would have no problem with DD1 coming home and being here for a couple of hours, she's year 7. In 18 months I'll have finished my course and be working shifts and DH won't be home til 6ish. We've already discussed it and agreed that DS will go to ASC (Y2 then) but the DDs in Y9 & 7 can come home until he gets back.

sunshinemmum Fri 07-Mar-14 12:00:20

I couldn't leave my 12 year old just yet (autism) but I could see the average 12 year would be ok for a short amount of time. I'd be more comfortable with a 14 year old as it is within the guidelines.

shewhowines Fri 07-Mar-14 11:54:27

I do it occasionally with my yr 9 and yr 7. They both prefer it if they are together though. normally hate each others guts

NotEnoughTime Fri 07-Mar-14 10:47:06

I think a couple of hours after school "home alone" is ok for most year 7's a couple of times a week (in fact it's probably good for them) I know my DS enjoys the freedom and responsibility.

It's the school holidays I find difficult as I don't think it is wise for kids of this age to be left all day on their own at home, although I appreciate all children are different.

missymayhemsmum Thu 06-Mar-14 22:45:28

My DD and DS decided (aged 13 and 11) that when we moved they didn't need a childminder. DD met DS from school, they walked home, they let themselves in, made a snack, did homework, watched telly, or signed up for after school stuff. I kept my mobile on and checked in from work and they had my best friend in the next street as back up. I wouldn't have left them all day, though, and my DD has always been really sensible and mature (and kept her brother under her thumb by threatening him with being sent to a childminder and not being allowed to play out).

Fusedog Thu 06-Mar-14 21:24:08

YABU it depends on there level of maturity my nephew is really badly behaved so for his own safety and everyone else's he still gose to a childminders after school

He's the type of boy who would hang round the shops after and get up to all sorts

alistron1 Thu 06-Mar-14 21:05:08

I think that if they are getting to/from school independently then being home alone for a couple of hours isn't a problem. Especially in this age of mobile phones, emails etc.

I remember my DS1 in Y7 informing me that he was more likely to come to harm at school than home alone when I was having a training day/work clash childcare dilemma.

PowderMum Thu 06-Mar-14 19:48:37

Susiedaisy - this just shows how different parents have different ideas, at 13 and 16 my DDs would be coming home on the bus, letting themselves in and looking after themselves every day for around 2 hours.
By 16 there were no restrictions on cooking etc and they open the front door especially during school holidays when they would be home alone from 8am to 6pm and often order things from ASOS or Amazon.

They are allowed to go out or have friends over as long as they let me know who or where they are.

They've managed to survive so far and are now at 14 and 17 very independent young women.

susiedaisy Thu 06-Mar-14 19:20:56

For an hour yes, depending on the child, but I wouldn't leave them for longer than that. Mine are now 13 and 16 and I've only just started leaving them for several hours at a time.

Chunderella Thu 06-Mar-14 19:17:13

I was thinking of them being collected en route home whatever, but you're right that may not be possible.

sandyballs Thu 06-Mar-14 18:37:43

grin carabos. Poor kids.

My year 8 DDs come home to an empty house twice a week. They've been doing this since mid year 7 I think. They're happy with it, make themselves a snack, supposed to do homework but it's usually ipad or tv. Me and DH are about 15 miles away but we have great neighbours.

carabos Thu 06-Mar-14 17:31:23

My friend started a new job in December and negotiated a 4pm finish so that she could collect her DC from school homework club. The Dd is in her A level year and DS is 14... DD can drive and has her own car. They live on bus and train route. My friend also accompanies DD when she goes babysitting because "she's too young to be left on her own with a baby".

She's planning to go with DD and her friends to a festival this summer as it will be their first one and they might be frightened.

Each to their own, but I don't remember being frightened at Knebworth in '79 for Led Zeppelin. I was 16...

This is one of those decisions that only a parent can make because you know your children best.

whatever5 Thu 06-Mar-14 17:29:30

mine have to get the bus home then walk in the dark in the winter anyhow... it is not any harder to do than in daylight...

My dd catches the bus and walks home in the dark too but she is with other school children. If she stays on at school for an hour or so for some reason, I collect her if it's dark.

Cigarettesandsmirnoff Thu 06-Mar-14 16:37:52

My dd1 had to get bus sand train at 7am in he dark

OwlCapone Thu 06-Mar-14 16:33:44

80s, Greater London Borough. It was never an issue.

whatever5 Thu 06-Mar-14 16:24:23

How times have changed. smile We used to do this all the time when I was at school.

We didn't (in the 80s). I only went home with my friends if it was dark. Perhaps it depends on where you live though. Anyway, to me it doesn't seem a better/safer option for an 11 year old than being in the house for an hour by themselves .

ShadowOfTheDay Thu 06-Mar-14 16:20:39

mine have to get the bus home then walk in the dark in the winter anyhow... it is not any harder to do than in daylight...

OwlCapone Thu 06-Mar-14 16:11:09

I don't think that's a good option as in the winter they would then be walking home/catching the bus by themselves in the dark.

How times have changed. smile We used to do this all the time when I was at school.

OwlCapone Thu 06-Mar-14 16:10:06

It depends entirely on the child.

Is working in the school library likely to be an option? DSs are allowed to stay in their's until about 5:30 and it gets some HW out of the way with fewer distractions. Obviously you won't know this until you know which secondary school smile

whatever5 Thu 06-Mar-14 16:07:39

Do their schools do any after school activities like sports, drama, film club etc? That might be an option if you're worried.

I don't think that's a good option as in the winter they would then be walking home/catching the bus by themselves in the dark.

Chunderella Thu 06-Mar-14 16:02:53

It's a tough one isn't it. Assuming NT, I think it depends a lot on the maturity of the child and also what trouble is freely available. Do their schools do any after school activities like sports, drama, film club etc? That might be an option if you're worried.

mouldyironingboard Thu 06-Mar-14 15:32:45

My children are adults now but thinking about this it really does depend on how sensible they are. Among my neighbours, I know of 14 year olds who really can't be trusted and 11 year olds who can.

kentishgirl Thu 06-Mar-14 15:31:47

I think it's very normal for a secondary school child to look after themselves for a couple of hours.

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