to expect the boss to know that i meant to spell the word huge with an E on the end

(54 Posts)
finefatmama Thu 06-Mar-14 12:11:43

woke up yesterday and realisd that I had an emergency plumber coming in to fix a leak, a meeting with social services regarding ds1 and had promised to take my sister and BIL to the airport so I sent a text to the boss at 6 a.m asking for the morning off which ended up including a request for it as a "...favour. huug this time"... as I wa a little overwhelmed and should have planned better etc. Was contacted by the PA to let me know that he'd rather I just took the day off to sort things out instead and that we need to talk when I have things under control.

Have been avoiding him all day today but surely he must know that I was asking for a 'huge favour' not a hug as I am known for being the tough one in the office and let this one go. how to boldly approach the conversation...

Nerfmother Thu 06-Mar-14 19:48:03

Hello op.
In your shoes now, I would stop sharing any personal life stuff with your boss or team, just in case they start thinking you can't manage or are under stress and look for evidence?
In a previous job I shared a lot with my colleagues and I really really wish I hadn't. Now, I share a bit and some of my traumas but I'm always aware of the need to be and look in control.
Do you think maybe people think the social services involvement, rushing after others is getting to you? Even if it's positive from ds (support for disability say) not everyone will know that. If be trying to separate home from work at the moment and be really efficient with record keeping time wise, when I'm at home I keep a diary of start time what I do, breaks etc.
hope this is just a blip.

TippiShagpile Thu 06-Mar-14 19:49:11

I have never come across anyone at senior level who can flit in and out of work the way you describe OP. I always found that the more senior I became the more commitment I had to show. I have my own business now and I can honestly say that I simply could not afford to employ someone like you.

Take this shot across the bows as an opportunity to reassess what you need/want from your job.

Good luck OP.

finefatmama Thu 06-Mar-14 23:26:53

nerf I think you hit the nail on the head and I think that's the wisest thing I'm coming away with. I need to separate the 2 and find a good system for keeping home organised.

asked for access to the notes this evening. apparently it was a wellbeing meeting to ensure that I was coping. he's dealing with a threat of legal challenge for work related stress from a colleague and we have all been advised to take notes more often so my guess is that this is one of such.

Tippi and Powder, although I will admit to being scatter brained at home, it doesn't extend to work, I have many compensating skills and qualities so I'm not worried about losing my job - having just been given business continuity as part on my responsibility this evening and I once again said yes. or maybe I am being set up to keel over and quit.

The boss idea of commitment is what he gets - annual leave on a whim in exchange for complex matters being resolved over the weekend, at midnight and sometimes during said time off. I barely switched off since starting this job and would rather be allowed to book annual leave but I cant so I've stopped trying. and the flexi thing was his idea partly in response to my resignation in January. You seem to assume that he's not happy with the arrangement because you wouldn't be. He's fussy about germs and branding and words and white spaces on paper but less bothered about other things.

Nerfmother Fri 07-Mar-14 07:07:58

Glad it's less sinister then you thought. But yes, make the changes you can make, and don't let yourself feel like they all know everything.
Good luck smile

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