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AIBU?

Just found out I'm pregnant

291 replies

Suchabadtime · 05/03/2014 00:55

I've come here for the traffic

Basically my last period was the 2/2 - 6/2 I had sex with a guy on the 8/2 however we used a condom. We slept together on the 12th 2/3 times without a comdom which was a MASSIVE mistake. I got back together with my ex on the 16th and we had sex numberous times thought the week and every time after usually 1-3 a day a couple of days a week I was on micronor and took it the same time everyday. The only days I missed out on were 20th & 22nd I was also put on antibiotics around the same time

I've just found out I'm pregnant My phone says I'm 5 days late but that is wrong sometimes by up to 2/3 days to early.

My average length is 26 days and my letaul phase As I worked out was 12 days (according to my phone so could be wrong)

Am I right in thinking it will be my ex/current partners.

I know I was stupid I never saw myself in this situation!

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aufaniae · 05/03/2014 00:59

Just trying to understand. When in the month did you start taking the pill?

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splasheeny · 05/03/2014 01:00

By your dates paternity is hard to tell.

How do you feel?

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Suchabadtime · 05/03/2014 01:01

I've been taking the pill for 6+ months

I just got another 6 month supply on the 25th because this was not suppose to happen! Sad

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Suchabadtime · 05/03/2014 01:02

Solasheeny

I want to bury myself in the back garden. Sad

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aufaniae · 05/03/2014 01:11

I'm sorry to say but i agree with splasheeny, I don't think you can definitely say one or the other.

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Finola1step · 05/03/2014 01:14

From the info you have given, either man could be the biological father. Even if you ovulated a couple of days after having sex with other guy, it was unprotected. Sperm can survive between 3 and 7 days after sex so your ovulation window would fit either partner. Sorry that you are in such a difficult situation.

Your best bet is to discuss your situation with your GP or family planning clinic ASAP as they may be able to give more accurate info.

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fairyfuckwings · 05/03/2014 01:15

Have you told anyone? Obviously it's your call but the timings are way too close to know for sure who's the father without a paternity test. You've got to take into account the time the sperm is inside you and still "active".

I don't know your circumstances but if you decide to go ahead with the pregnancy I'd make sure you're able to go it alone.

And I'm sorry I know all that sounds unsympathetic andit's really not meant to so ((hug))

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Suchabadtime · 05/03/2014 01:18

My partner knows I slept with someone else at the time

If I had a dating scan would I be able to tell then?

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aufaniae · 05/03/2014 01:18

If I've understood your dates correctly, if you go by the date you'd be ovulating, the first one would be mire likely wouldn't it? But if you go by the date you missed a pill it makes your current partner more likely, doesn't it?

Don't take my word for it though! I now realise k don'g know how the pill actually works! I mean, I know if you take it every day it tricks your body into thinking it's pregnant, but then if you miss a couple days what day in your cycle does that make you? When would you ovulate in relation to the missed day? I have no idea.

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2Retts · 05/03/2014 01:18

If your cycle was longer I'd probably bet on your current partner (and I am not a betting girl), but the dates are so close together and the sperm cells can survive for long enough for it to be either according to the dates you have given.

I'm so sorry OP, it must be an absolute nightmare for you not to know. I truly hope you can find peace with it whatever comes.

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splasheeny · 05/03/2014 01:20

Dating scans aren't that accurate, so I don't think that would reveal paternity.

Have you told your partner?

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2Retts · 05/03/2014 01:23

How would your partner feel if he was not the biological father and would the bio father want to be involved?

Are there any other DCs?

These are questions you all need to consider. Play through the possible future scenarios so you can each make informed choices.

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Suchabadtime · 05/03/2014 01:25

Atm we are both going by it's his.

Yeah that's what I mean If you go by my pill it's 100% his the fact that the other man was 2 days after my lump and the condom I can rule that one out. It's the one after I was so stupid but I took my pills so I should be covered

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Suchabadtime · 05/03/2014 01:26

I already have 1 DC by another man 2 years before we were together.

I don't know

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Finola1step · 05/03/2014 01:34

So your partner knows that you slept with someone else before you got back together. It's for the best that he knows now. You can hope that he is the biological father. You can have a dating scan which might help. I'm sorry to be so blunt, but if the dating scan suggests say conception around the 18th, for example, it could still be either because you would have had sperm from both still inside you. So the only way to know for sure will be a paternity test.

It's very early days. You need to look after yourself and try not to let all this stress get to you.

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Suchabadtime · 05/03/2014 01:37

I think because I was taking the antibiotics and missed some pills it's more likely to be his. The other guy I took them religiously.

I'm sure I'll be fine

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Finola1step · 05/03/2014 01:40

In thar case, good luck and congratulations.

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fairyfuckwings · 05/03/2014 01:42

Are you able to support yourself independently? As that's what you really really need to consider. Even if your partner is saying now that he'll support you , if at some point you split up and the child isn't his, he's not going to be under any obligation to support you.

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AgaPanthers · 05/03/2014 01:50
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Bogeyface · 05/03/2014 02:04

Regardless of who the father is, do you want to keep this baby and are you prepared to do it alone?

I have to say that having read your dates, I think that it could go either way tbh.

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VampyreofTimeandMemory · 05/03/2014 07:54

your dating scan might give you a clearer idea, the last one I had was accurate right down to the day. Hope you feel more positive soon, whatever you decide to do.

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PerpendicularVince · 05/03/2014 07:57

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FanjolinaJolie · 05/03/2014 08:18

Did you take ALL pills prior to missing the first pill on 20th?

What date did you take your first antibiotic?

When did you first test positive?

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Suchabadtime · 05/03/2014 09:36

Yes I took them all

I got a really faint positive Sunday defiant Monday

Umm the 25th were my antibiotics

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PerpendicularVince · 05/03/2014 09:55

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