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to take the DCs to legoland for a weekend away whilst DH goes on yet another stag weekend?

(83 Posts)
chillidoritos Fri 28-Feb-14 13:59:50

DH is going on a stag weekend abroad in April. He goes on lots of stag weekends and lads' weekends away whilst I'm left looking after the DC. In the summer he plays cricket every Saturday and sometimes on a Sunday too, and again I look after the DC.

I'm sick of it all quite frankly and have decided that this year I am going to do nice things with the kids whilst he's off doing his own thing. In the past we've always done all the nice stuff on weekends when he's not doing anything.

So I've decided that when he's on the stag weekend I'm going to take the DC to Lego land and stay in a hotel with them for the weekend, and really have some fun.

DH is not happy as he wants to come and says I'm being selfish by taking them there without him.

AIBU?

LimeLelloLizard Sat 01-Mar-14 22:32:23

YANBU about your selfish DH. Sod him.

YABU about LEGOLAND - it really isn't up to much. If you do go, stay somewhere else and just go there for one day... there are some lovely days out in that part of the world.

50shadesofpink Sat 01-Mar-14 22:25:48

Yanbu at all!
My DH is going on a stag in April too! If it's the bank holiday, I might join you with my DC at Legoland!!

CalmTheFarm Sat 01-Mar-14 22:04:23

YANBU. Go and enjoy yourselves!

Brilliant plan. I'm going to steal it. The next time dh goes away, ds and I will be off somewhere fun!

SomethingkindaOod Sat 01-Mar-14 21:45:35

Just go.
Before Christmas DH announced that he had been invited on 2 50th birthday weekends away with his buddies and could we have a chat about money and timing please? This was in addition to his working away commitments and work/social commitments as well which have increased this year.
So I said fine, but as he knew I was keen to take the DC's down to London for the weekend and would be pricing up a hotel/apartment and train tickets down there for us. Just us, on one of the weekends he was away. In Spain. In January tit.
I didn't bluff him, he knows damn well I can manage 3 children anywhere I choose to take them on my own and we all love London so he knew I was serious.
Lo and behold, he decided not to go to Spain and we are currently looking for a nice place to stay for our weekend in the Capital grin. I may still take them myself later in the year, money allowing, but he knows I will go whatever he thinks. If he chooses to take himself out of the equation then he deals with the consequences.
YANBU x

vladthedisorganised Sat 01-Mar-14 21:37:58

Dear God, YANBU!
My H loves skiing, I can take or leave it. When he went when DD was tiny I'm ashamed to admit I did sit at home, bored out of my tiny mind, and did nothing at all until he returned.
The following year I woke up.. it's now an annual ritual for DD and I to have a city break somewhere while H hits the slopes. If he's that fussed about going, he always has the option to cancel his skiing: just as yours is welcome to cancel his stag weekend attendance if he particularly wants to come to Legoland.

ShakesBootyFlabWobbles Sat 01-Mar-14 21:36:39

YAdNBU to go somewhere nice when he's away.... BUT

I am a Legoland regular as I live nearby and would say that you need to consider your children's ages and heights if you go on your own. As there are 4 years between my two, it could be tricky going on my own with them when they were smaller as there is only a limited amounted of rides very small children can go on and the slightly bigger ones need an adult to accompany them, which means they miss out as you can't leave your younger one on their own. If you live local, it is OK to just do the shows, parks and limited rides but if it is a trip away, you'd be hacked off paying all that money to only be able to get on a few things. Good suggestion to take another adult. April is not normally too bad with crowds (still can be busy) but I'd avoid August like the plague, it can be hell on earth. HTH.

Inertia Sat 01-Mar-14 20:07:02

That's a very good idea Whatever5 - or perhaps even a willing friend of OP.

whatever5 Sat 01-Mar-14 09:45:27

YANBU. I would do this but also pay for my mum to come too as the trip would be more relaxing and enjoyable if there was another adult there.

Lorelilee Sat 01-Mar-14 08:57:00

People only continue with unreasonable behaviour if you allow them to, yes I'm looking at you OP and DontGiveAway. Marriage and parenting should both be 50/50 enterprises - with each faction understanding and carrying out their responsibilities. Make this happen and your life will be much happier.

nkf Sat 01-Mar-14 08:48:01

Enjoy your weekend away.

Aeroflotgirl Sat 01-Mar-14 08:42:46

Yanbu no no you are not being selfish, he is! He has a choice, go to Legoland with you and the kids or go to his stag weekend, he's made his choice. Why should you all sit around moping, whilst he's having a good time. I would be having a serious talk with him about his lads weekends, it is not acceotable!

Ticklefeet Sat 01-Mar-14 08:40:02

He needs to 'man up'.

mrspremise Sat 01-Mar-14 08:37:18

Not telling him would be my vote in future too; "oh, it was a spur of the moment thing..." Surely if he's not around as usual you dont need to consult him wink

Discomama Sat 01-Mar-14 08:19:18

Next time don't tell him, don't tell the kids, then suprise them on the morning you go -- wonder mummy wink

Cranky01 Sat 01-Mar-14 08:04:35

It depends how old and tall are your children, because if 1 is tall enough for the rides but the other isn't it can be quite difficult on your own

Adikia Sat 01-Mar-14 02:02:08

YANBU, it sounds like a great plan to me and if he's that bothered about missing Legoland then he can make his excuses and miss the stag weekend instead grin

DontGiveAwayTheHomeworld Sat 01-Mar-14 01:34:13

At least it was planned in advance. DH has a lot of impromptu nights out, sometimes staying at mates houses, and it drives me mad! Currently waiting for the text that tells me whether he's coming home tonight so I can go to bed (need to leave the door unbolted if he's coming back.) Ok, tonight was actually planned, but it's the same routine at least three times a month.

Ah well, night out with my best buddy next Friday. Which has a time limit because DH has work on Saturday, so I have to be at least semi-functional. Grrr!

Troglodad Sat 01-Mar-14 01:26:16

I meant channeling, not challenging

Troglodad Sat 01-Mar-14 01:25:52

Life in an unending re-telling of a ten year old boy's summer holidays must be peachy. Troglomum would probably tear my knackers off if I did that, and quite right too.

YANBU - do it! Also, consider challenging that adventurism and get him taking you all camping and stuff smile

VeggySausage Sat 01-Mar-14 00:09:58

YABU going to legloand on your own with no help.

Dump the kids on your parents and go away for the weekend.

Jenny70 Fri 28-Feb-14 23:49:01

I agree do something fun, and tell him to take a flying leap if he tells you where you can/can't go - you don't tell him where the stag weekends should be etc.

But how many DC and what ages, I can't do legoland solo yet, as youngest can't goon many rides, but older need an adult with them. And some the 3 children, 1 adult ratio doesn't work (boats etc).

But assuming you can make it work, do it!!

DinahLady Fri 28-Feb-14 22:22:42

YADNBU!! He goes away on his stag weekend, that's fair enough.
How the heck though can he expect you to sit in and do nothing, being bored and awaiting his return?!
That's so cheeky. He's SO paranoid he's going to be missing out. If he wanted to go that badly, he'd cry off the stag weekend and come to Legoland with you! smile
He just doesn't like the thought of you off out havingfun without him instead of sat at home eagerly awaiting his response.
Go, go GO to Legoland with your DC's. DO NOT stay in doing nothing waiting around all weekend for him to come back!
Get out and have fun, time will go quickly for you, and your dc's will have a great time.
If he feels he's missing out, then he knows what to do next time, and come with you! smile

littledrummergirl Fri 28-Feb-14 22:15:15

YABU
Drayton mannor is much better than legoland, although it is probably only for a day.
Smaller and less queues.
Cadburys world isnt far away though grin

Lavenderhoney Fri 28-Feb-14 22:00:46

And if he doesn't or won't help when you get home tired with dinner to cook etc etc then its a new problem.

However, you must live your life! Stag weekends? Surely all your friends are married by now! And lads weekends away? He's probably concerned about the money you'll be spending instead of waiting home.

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