...to think 'partner' means a cohabiting partner, not just boyfriend.

(377 Posts)
fideline Thu 27-Feb-14 19:29:06

This has twice caused major confusion recently.

I realise most of the time it doesn't really matter much, but referring to someone you are 'just' dating as your partner is confusing wrong.

Isn't it?

Joysmum Thu 27-Feb-14 19:31:38

I've always thought so...but can appreciate older people in relationships don't want to be be boyfriends and girlfriends. Puts me in mine of Dellboy Trotter calling Raquel his 'significant other' smile

Bowlersarm Thu 27-Feb-14 19:33:17

Oh, well I would have thought partner was just another word for boyfriend or girlfriend, whether cohabiting or not.

JoinYourPlayfellows Thu 27-Feb-14 19:34:07

It also means business partner.

I have a friend with one of each, a regular partner and a business partner.

That really can get confusing.

QueenofKelsingra Thu 27-Feb-14 19:35:02

I wouldn't necessarily say its co-habiting but certainly long term relationship, a year at least I guess.

I don't like the term though to be honest. people no use it as a quick fix to cover all bases. I don't have a partner, I have a husband thank you. and before that I had a fiancé and before that a boyfriend. I dislike the current trend of being generic about everything.

DioneTheDiabolist Thu 27-Feb-14 19:39:38

I am in my 40s and have had a boyfriend for nearly 2years. We are planning to live together later this year, then he will become my partner.

YANBU OP.

DameFanny Thu 27-Feb-14 19:43:37

Yanbu. Partner to me implies shared aims, shared effort etc. DH is my partner.

LessMissAbs Thu 27-Feb-14 19:46:09

Never heard of that definition before. In fact I have friends who have long distance relationships who refer to their "partners".

KiwiBanana Thu 27-Feb-14 19:49:22

Yanbu. I hate referring to DP as my boyfriend, we've been together 7 years and have 2 children so we're way beyond what the word boyfriend implies to me. Partner isn't my favourite word either but I feel like a right knob for some reason when I refer to him as my fiancé confused

IneedAwittierNickname Thu 27-Feb-14 19:49:36

Not as bad as calling a new bf 'hubby' like my old school friend does hmm

to me partner is another name for a boyfriend/girlfriend. It would be strange for me to hear a grown up call the person they were dating a boyfriend/girlfriend - makes me think of teenagers

elastamum Thu 27-Feb-14 19:50:35

DP and I have 2 homes because we each still have teenage children in school in different parts of the country and neither of us want to uproot them and move them away from their other parent. We have been together a few years, are planning our retirement and will eventually move in full time when it works for the children.

Just becuase we dont live together full time, doesnt mean we are 'just dating' hmm

HellomynameisIcklePickle Thu 27-Feb-14 19:50:50

Yanbu

BillyNotQuiteNoMates Thu 27-Feb-14 19:52:47

I still struggle with using "partner" as a relationship definition, rather than a business partner. But then again, I'm too tired to really care, tonight - time for a wine grin

ImpOfDarkness Thu 27-Feb-14 20:05:28

I do get a bit hmm when people on the relationships board refer to their boyfriend of six weeks as their partner. Especially if he is married to someone else.

fideline Thu 27-Feb-14 20:06:18

elastamum yes I can see that, but your situation must be unusual?

It seems like teens and twentiesomethings now frequently use the term for any relationship over a week's duration.

Maybe it is a generational thing, much of the time.

fideline Thu 27-Feb-14 20:09:41

Yes Imp - that too. When it's used like that it smacks a bit of clinginess desperation

As Damefanny says partner implies shared responsibilities,commitment, an enduring arrangement surely?

KissesBreakingWave Thu 27-Feb-14 20:09:43

Whatever, I think we can all come down against 'manshape', right? Right?

fideline Thu 27-Feb-14 20:10:51

Manshape?? Never heard of it

BitOutOfPractice Thu 27-Feb-14 20:11:28

Just because you're not cohabiting, doesn't mean you're "Just dating"

I would consider by BF and I to be much more than "just dating". We are in a long-term committed relationship. We share everything in our lives except an address. Not that it's any business of yours we don't cohabit because we have committments to our DC in fifferent towns.

I often feel uncomfortable calling him my DP on MN because I know our relationship doesn't conform to the narrow minded definition of partnership that is considered acceptable here

But I an assure you he is my DP and I consider him as rather more than someone I'm "just dating"

Families / relationships / lives / partnerships / life comes in lots of shapes and formas now OP. Last time I looked it was 2014 not 1954

So yes, on that basis YABVU

JupiterGentlefly Thu 27-Feb-14 20:11:55

I am so baffled by the whole thing.. I am 41, so feel 'boyfriend' sounds immature, 'partner' hmm, business, ' live in lover'?. I just say 'my other half' classy

FudgefaceMcZ Thu 27-Feb-14 20:11:56

No. Living in the same house with someone doesn't automatically make your relationship more special and important than anyone else's. YABU and a bit of a dick.

JupiterGentlefly Thu 27-Feb-14 20:13:54

Bitoutofpractice.. Very well said!

BitOutOfPractice Thu 27-Feb-14 20:14:47

And as you can see from this thread, it is not "unusual" hmm

Christ, not every woman who isn't still married to their childhood sweetheart is some kind of sad desperate spinster clinging desperatily to any man who passes by calling him "DP" you know.

Oooo I'm cross. As you may be able to tell!!

ThursdayLast Thu 27-Feb-14 20:15:31

BitOutofPractise,
Your circumstances are a million miles from mine, but what you said is how I feel on the subject.

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