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AIBU?

to challenge a childminder contract?

61 replies

missusmrs · 27/02/2014 16:05

We have been with our current CM for 5 months now and there have been various issues that have bothered me but I have never addressed - too much TV, pizza/fishfingers every night, panics over every runny tummy/spot etc - ringing calling me home from work etc.
We started potty training 3.5 weeks ago, we had our 2.9 at home as she was on hols for 2 weeks mid term so we we spent the time potty training and went back dry with no accidents. he has been with her now 1.5 weeks and he has had 2 accidents, both which have lead to a near meltdown on her behalf. Last week he had an accident at soft play and she was furious both with my DS and us wheb we collected. My DS1 (5.5) has since quoted her going on about a waste of money and how naught DS2 is etc. Since then our drop off an dpick conversations have only centred around toilet routine. yesterday he was at he park and had an accident she told my DH on pick up last night. At drop off this am, she has a right go at me wondering why he couldnt 'get it', most kids did at 2, she has never had a kid who had accidents (She 60 and has been a CM all her life). To such an extent I went to work in tears. It has since come to light (DH didnt tell me as he knew it would upset me) but she left DS2 standing in the park in his dirty and wet pants until she was ready to go home with other kids!!!! I just want to go home now pick them up and never go back - an option Im strong considering - where does it leave me in terms of our contract - I think I need to give her 2 months notice ..but I think her actions have invalided it in some way?

OP posts:
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ToootSweet · 27/02/2014 16:07

Get them out now and sod the contract.
Let her take you to court.
She sounds horrible.

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Isthatwhatdemonsdo · 27/02/2014 16:09

I've no idea about your contract, but I would remove your child ASAP.

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JulietBravoJuliet · 27/02/2014 16:09

I wouldn't be sending my child back there! I don't know much about childminders as I've never used one, but surely they have to conform to regulations like a nursery does? I wouldn't think she was conforming too well if she's getting furious over a 2 year old having a couple of accidents. My ds wasn't dry properly until just over 3, which I think is within the "normal" range.

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MetellaEstMater · 27/02/2014 16:10

Get them out now.

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HoratiaDrelincourt · 27/02/2014 16:10

Run. And consider informing Ofsted. Leaving a toddler in wet/dirty underwear to teach him a lesson is completely unacceptable.

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DomesticDisgrace · 27/02/2014 16:11

Oh my God I'm usually easy going to a fault but I'd be straight around there to whip them away from her! Two months notice my arse after that treatment! Your poor DS, no wonder he's having accidents she sounds horrendous. They're the most important things in your world and that's her attitude, no I wouldn't have that.

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fedupandtired · 27/02/2014 16:11

Sod any notice period. She's guilty of cruelty and neglect and would have a difficult time suing you for breach of contract.

Horrible woman. Get your DS away from her.

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Finola1step · 27/02/2014 16:11

Take your dc out ASAP. You might want to consider reporting her to Ofsted for the park incident.

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MyNameIsAnAnagram · 27/02/2014 16:11

I would be complaining to ofsted about your child being left in dirty clothing deliberately. And they wouldn't be going back to her.

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littledrummergirl · 27/02/2014 16:12

Remove them and contact the regulator (ofsted?).

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MigGril · 27/02/2014 16:15

I would think under the circumstances you could pull them out straight away, I had a friend who did after her DS told her the CM had taken them in the car without car seats her DD is only 3 years old.

I'd also report her to ofsten who also regulate childminders over leaving your child in soiled cloths which isn't on. It's totally normal for children this age to still have accidents epically when newly potty trained. So please don't worry about that.

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missusmrs · 27/02/2014 16:17

Thank you just as I felt, I have been in tears all day thining about my baby boy in the park. My husband have just spoke again and and I are on our way now, we have cancelled direct debit and vouchers and as he says let her try and challenge us if she dares.

OP posts:
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missusmrs · 27/02/2014 16:18

Sorry for typos I'm in a bit of an upset muddle at the moment.

OP posts:
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Mumoftwoyoungkids · 27/02/2014 16:19

Why on earth does she not carry clean clothes with her?my dd (nearly 4) has been clean and dry for a year now. I still carry spare pants and trousers with us everywhere. I was just thinking about stopping when she had a poo accident the other week at a friend's house. I took off her pants, chucked the poo down the loo, wiped her bum, gave her new pants, she went back to playing.

Not the most pleasant part of my day but no big deal. If you look after small children there will be a lot of poo and wee! expecting there not to be is like becoming a dustman and expecting there to be no smelly rubbish!

So no - YWNBU. She sounds awful. Don't know what the legal position is but get your kids out of there!

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werenotreallyhere · 27/02/2014 16:20

I would not leave my child there, and I would report to ofsted. Let her pursue you through the small claims court if she wants to

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ThePinkOcelot · 27/02/2014 16:21

Like Everyone else said, sod the contract. She sounds awful!!
Yes, some children might be dry by then, but certainly not all and if she was an experienced cm or even a mother, she would know that . Horrible woman!

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RestingActress · 27/02/2014 16:23

You are so doing the right thing taking your DC out, what a horrific CM

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BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 27/02/2014 16:24

She sounds like she has had enough of being a CM now - she really should chuck it in if that is how she treats the children in her care.

No way would I keep sending my child to her....contact Ofsted though!

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43percentburnt · 27/02/2014 16:26

I think you should report to ofsted. Not to worry you but if she admits to leaving a child in soiled clothing what else is she doing that she hasn't mentioned?

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WilsonFrickett · 27/02/2014 16:28

What a nasty piece of work and no, 'most kids' don't always get potty training at 2. You are doing the right thing.

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NadiaWadia · 27/02/2014 16:28

That's awful - very unprofessional. At 60 and having been a childminder for many years you would have thought she must have had plenty of experience of small children having accidents - part of the job I'd say. What right has she got to be 'furious'? She sounds horrible. Your poor DCs. Like everyone else I say get them out of there ASAP. Sod the contract.

Please please report her to Ofsted and any other appropriate authority, for the sake of the other kids she is minding.

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Northernlurker · 27/02/2014 16:28

I

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Northernlurker · 27/02/2014 16:30

ooops sorry

Your dh knew ds had been left in that state? I would sack childminder and report her to Ofsted for being abusive and I would give dh a piece of my mind too! Glad to see you are on your way to deal with this.

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MoreBeta · 27/02/2014 16:31

We took our DS1 out of a nursery under different circumstances and actually quite grave on reflection. They did not pursue the 3 month notice period. Your CM will not either.

Make sure you put it carefully in writing stating the facts as to the reason why and say you will not be giving the contractual 2 month notice as a result and have cancelled the direct debit. She will not pursue the matter I can guarantee you of that.

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squoosh · 27/02/2014 16:33

She should have a lot more to worry about than you OP!

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