DH has been keeping tabs on my mumsnet posts !

(63 Posts)
Birchwood Thu 27-Feb-14 08:18:50

Name changed for obvious reasons... he read some not so nice things about himself .. Ha !

I feel a like he's invaded my privacy. I've never shared my nickname with him so he must have sneaked around a bit to find it out.

He says it's a public forum so I shouldn't mind...

wishingchair Thu 27-Feb-14 09:49:25

He shouldn't spy but I also would want to read what my DH had said about me if he had been posting stuff about me!

I'd be annoyed at him for snooping. But I'd also be annoyed if he posted stuff about me online for all and sundry to read and judge.

DorianReprise Thu 27-Feb-14 09:49:26

I feel your pain (let people have somewhere to moan!) - my idiot SIL, a snide expert on parenting, housekeeping, budgeting, long term relationships and anything else that might come up (despite being single, childless and living with mummy and daddy for whole adult life so far) has not only stalked me and partner here/elsewhere, but is now starting to in real life.

There's nothing so fun as people who won't keep their bloody nose out! angry

mrsjay Thu 27-Feb-14 09:51:27

I'd be annoyed at him for snooping. But I'd also be annoyed if he posted stuff about me online for all and sundry to read and judge.

really but people don't know who you are what if you vented about your husband online would you let him read it ? I guess different strokes and all that but I do believe people need to vent somewhere if they need to get something off their chest

DorianReprise Thu 27-Feb-14 09:52:42

wishingchair I have avoided doing that so it's never been an issue for me, but yeah I guess information that is literally about your relationship and in the public domain is probably fair game. If it was between friends I think lots of us would consciously avoid snooping, whereas published... yeah point well made.

CalamitouslyWrong Thu 27-Feb-14 10:00:09

I don't think MN is a female equivalent to an MRA site. I wouldn't be in a relationship with someone who was a MRA, or who wanted to join an MRA community so they could have arguments/troll the MRAs. Neither option suggests compatibility with me.

Regardless, I still wouldn't read his posts on it (or any other forum). Same as I don't read his FB messages or his emails. I could if I wanted to (his phone and ipad are easy to access) but it's not something I'd want to do.

PoorOldCat Thu 27-Feb-14 10:03:20

My mother told me she has done this - she told me last week, I am not over it yet.

Breach of trust or what. But then I think I knew I could not trust her to start with. This just confirms she has no boundaries.

Sorry OP - I'd feel exactly the same. Hope you can sort it out without cutting his hands off.

Lazyjaney Thu 27-Feb-14 10:03:51

"I'd be annoyed at him for snooping. But I'd also be annoyed if he posted stuff about me online for all and sundry to read and judge"

Quite. Lots of hypocrisy on here.

Golden rule of t'Internet. It never forgets. Don't write things you wouldn't want read in a court of law.

Floggingmolly Thu 27-Feb-14 10:04:31

How on earth would you "guess" someone's username on an anonymous forum? hmm. Several of my friends claim to use Mumsnet; there is no way I could find them on here even if I deliberately tried.
How did he know what to search for that led to the great unveiling?

KidLorneRoll Thu 27-Feb-14 10:10:43

Personally, I think posting personal information a a person without them knowing is just as big an invasion of privacy. If you wouldn't say it to their face, you probably shouldn't say it to a bunch of strangers on the internet.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow Thu 27-Feb-14 10:19:48

What does MRA mean?

kotinka Thu 27-Feb-14 10:25:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DorianReprise Thu 27-Feb-14 10:26:50

"If you wouldn't say it to their face, you probably shouldn't say it to a bunch of strangers on the internet."

Not necessarily. I can understand when you're talking about your DP, but how many threads are there on MN where a confrontation would be all too easy to do/satisfying (and well deserved on the part of the offending person) but civil behaviour and care for loved ones dictate that we find another way.

ItsSoooFluffy Thu 27-Feb-14 10:27:02

One of the reason I haven't told my dp my user name. That's one of the reason I love mumsnet the anonymity of it grin so YANBU to be annoyed.

mrsjay Thu 27-Feb-14 10:28:07

OH is that what it means Mumsnet really isn't an activist site is it,

kid if a woman is being abused by her husband or just needing a moan she cant say these things to her husband to say well they should say to the person is a wee bit short sighted imo

Fairy1303 Thu 27-Feb-14 10:34:56

STBXH stalked me on MN because he saw that I'd read a thread entitled 'wracked with guilt over delivery man'

He was so paranoid he thought I'd posted it after having sex with the delivery man.

Fucking twat.

echt Thu 27-Feb-14 10:37:59

Astonished at the suggestion that if you can't say it in RL the you shouldn't say it here.

tell that to gaslighted women
the financially abused women
the women who post who walk on eggshells with their abusive OHs

Perhaps the ones who post such suggestions should add their real names and addresses with their posts.

Thought not. hmm

Not so clever now, eh?

fosterg Thu 27-Feb-14 10:41:01

Well, at the bottom of each page there is a box for adding a message.
This clearly shows one's nickname. I've always thought that strange and anyone else who uses the same computer can see it. I think it only happens when you've logged in.

mrsjay Thu 27-Feb-14 10:42:25

I have just realised what STBXH it has been baffiling me for months, sorry to go off post but it has been annoying me what it meant, sorry your soon to be ex husband was such a twat fairy

kotinka Thu 27-Feb-14 10:42:58

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KidLorneRoll Thu 27-Feb-14 10:43:07

Fairly obviously, there is a difference between talking to a bunch of unqualified strangers publicly on the internet and seeking help from actual, trained professionals who abide by ethical codes and operate with a degree of confidentiality.

kotinka Thu 27-Feb-14 10:44:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mrsjay Thu 27-Feb-14 10:47:11

actually talking to a bunch of unqualified strangers can do better at the time than going to some professional that you might find it difficult to open up to,

mrsjay Thu 27-Feb-14 10:48:07

and while I am on it just chatting to strangers can be theraputic and make your day that bit better,

MissHobart Thu 27-Feb-14 10:48:25

My OH knows I go on MN as I seem to have a small addiction! grin

The laptop has a bookmark and I'm always logged in but I'm sure he wouldn't snoop, I don't say anything that interesting! hmm I've told him it's a place I can talk to other people going through the same stuff as me (ttc) who understand add I'm really sure he didn't want to hear me go on and on about ovulation and mucus!

But I would be miffed if he did snoop! confused

tryingreallytrying Thu 27-Feb-14 10:53:04

Huge invasion of privacy. I'd be livid if dh did that. I tell him about lots/most of what I post if he'd be interested (he wouldn't be mostly) but snooping no - it would be like reading someone's diary...

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