to not wake up to let DH in

(53 Posts)
megamuffin Wed 26-Feb-14 23:24:17

Have name changed as I'm sure he snoops on here and this will certainly out me.

DH has gone on a works day out today. Just before he left at 7 this morning, he woke me and 8 month old ds (we were co sleeping) to ask where the spare key was as he didn't know what time he would be back and he wanted to let himself in. I had no idea so he left without it.

I just texted him asking if he knew when he would be home and he rang back with this reply:

"Some people are leaving at half 11 so IF I get a lift with them I'll be home for half 12 ish. If not then I dont know"

Was I unreasonable to say if he didn't get a lift with the half 11 people then he wouldn't be getting into this house as I will be asleep?! His reply to that was "fine! I'll sleep at someones then come home at half 6 in the morning to get ready for work!". Again, was I unreasonable to say no, I'll be asleep then too!? Should I get up for him? The works day out finished hours ago, they're now just out on the piss.

ProfPlumSpeaking Thu 27-Feb-14 08:57:21

You are on a slippery slope. If your DH were single, he would simply have had to find his key before he went out - there would not be someone else to let him in. He would not be waking someone up to ask them where the spare key was, and then again to let him in in the early hours.

If he goes out twice a week without you, and away on holiday without you, and doesn't help with nights even at the weekend then I reckon you are setting yourself up for a miserable life. When you go back to work, your DH will be in the habit of thinking he has a domestic fairy and he still won't pull his weight. Do you think that when you are working 9-5 someone else will be doing all the nights/cooking (making assumptions), cleaning etc. No. Working people usually have chores in their spare time and there is no reason why your DH should not be doing some now especially if you are sleep deprived. You deserve time off too! Btw, what do I know, but at 8mo is your baby not eating solids and drinking water (ie can you not skip a milk feed in order to go out one evening?). Maybe you are slightly making a rod for your own back on that front....

Mycatistoosexy Thu 27-Feb-14 09:19:22

I find people's attitudes weird here. He went out knowing he didn't have a key, decided to stay out late in spite of that when his other half has a baby to look after, then said just leave a key for him burglars? Rather than just saying 'yeah, I'll compromise and come home a bit earlier and not take the piss'

Now it's the OP's fault for doing too much and making a rod for her own back or just being petty?

It's not a LTB situation but a bit I'd be a bit put out

ikeaismylocal Thu 27-Feb-14 09:26:12

Yanbu my co-sleep ing ds would wake up if the doorbell rang or my phone rang, it wouldn't just be a cast of jumping out of bed for 2 minutes and opening the door I would then be up for 45 minutes putting ds back to sleep again.

He knew he didn't have a key, I think he should have come home when he knew you were still awake.

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