Annoyed at people judging me how I spend my money

(63 Posts)
AfroditeJones Wed 26-Feb-14 11:00:32

I never ask people about their financial situation, wether they have a mortgage or pay rent or how much they spend on food per week, etc. But so far today I have been criticised for buying my daughter a brand new maxi micro scooter for her Birthday in replacement for the one she had stollen it was kind of my fault few months ago. She couldn't get one for Christmas as we had already bought all her presents. Also I got criticised for giving her £5 to buy a book at her school book fair. Should I just point out that I have chosen to have only 1 child? That I don't spend money buying 'designer' clothes (yes with big labels on the outside to show off), for none of us? That I don't drive a car to cut costs? That I worked until I was 1 week due? That I went back to work when my child was 6 months and never stopped 6 years on? And also that I created my own business and have a part time some evenings too? Also I am quite frugal and go months without buying anything new. Rant over.

PerpendicularVince Wed 26-Feb-14 11:11:31

I wouldn't point out anything to anyone. How you spend your money is entirely your business and you don't need to justify yourself to anyone else.

It sounds like you're doing a great job providing for your family, and that is what matters.

YoureBeingASillyBilly Wed 26-Feb-14 11:14:24

Dont explain yourself to people OP.

The next person who says anything respond with "when i have a copy of your last bank statement we'll discuss my spending"

Burren Wed 26-Feb-14 11:14:48

Who on earth is doing the criticising? I can't think of anyone in my life who would know what I had given my child as a present!

Don't feel the need to point out anything -it is absolutely none of anyone else's affair!

chandlerbing Wed 26-Feb-14 11:15:48

Who is criticising you? A family member? Friends? random people?

WallyBantersJunkBox Wed 26-Feb-14 11:15:54

Wow who does this to you op? Hopefully not a close friend or family member? sad

UnicornCrisps Wed 26-Feb-14 11:16:28

What on Earth is wrong with giving your child money for books? confused

It’s nobodies business what you spend your money on and I see nothing wrong with giving your daughter gifts.

judogonzales Wed 26-Feb-14 11:16:52

Of course YANBU and don't waste any time explaining. Just ignore or laugh it off.

Mmm stollen

ShanghaiDiva Wed 26-Feb-14 11:18:32

No need to justify anything or explain yourself to anyone.

marfisa Wed 26-Feb-14 11:19:05

YANBU. The maxi micro scooters are expensive but totally worth it. They last until age 12 or so (depending on your child's height) and are a healthy physical activity that kids love.

Books/reading/encouraging children to choose their own reading material is also something that I would never begrudge spending money on.

You don't need to defend yourself to anyone but you are RIGHT.

YoureBeingASillyBilly Wed 26-Feb-14 11:20:07

Btw- at my dcs book fair there was nothing under £5! hmm <rip off merchants>

marfisa Wed 26-Feb-14 11:20:30

By the way, I also accidentally left a micro scooter outdoors on the pavement when our DS was small. It was appropriated/stolen almost immediately. I bought him a replacement the next day, I felt so bad about it. And we weren't loaded with money either...

bodybooboo Wed 26-Feb-14 11:20:32

give them a blank stare and say 'sorry did I ask your opinion?' then walk away. bloody cheek. is this your dh btw?

badtime Wed 26-Feb-14 11:23:46

I can't believe people criticise you for giving tour child money for books!
(Well, actually, I can totally believe it, but I really dislike that attitude and find it difficult to understand)

People who say these things may be bitter that you can afford to spend money on what they consider to be fripperies. You know what is important to you (and you sound like you have a solid and positive attitude to money).

You have to manage a surprised expression, and say something like "What on earth's that got to do with you?" Alternately, insulted or just plain angry will work!

Or a sarcastic "Yeah, there's me making sure she gets exercise again" with a roll of the eyes. Or something relevant. Who on earth criticises anyone for letting their child buy a book?

PandaFeet Wed 26-Feb-14 11:24:08

Does your DD act like a spoilt child. Are they criticising you giving her too much rather than actually how you spend your money?

badtime Wed 26-Feb-14 11:24:10

*your child

Clobbered Wed 26-Feb-14 11:28:39

The Mumsnet classic works well here "Did you mean to be so rude?"

Stuff 'em, I say.

Floggingmolly Wed 26-Feb-14 11:29:25

A scooter and cash to spend at the book fair are hardly the preserve of the elite?? Fairly standard for most kids.
Who on earth is judging you? confused

woodrunner Wed 26-Feb-14 11:30:28

Bit baffling. The things you mention aren't extreme or conspicuous spending at all. I think of myself as quite frugal and wouldn't bat an eye about buying the stuff you mention. It's no one's business and there's nothing you need to justify. Even if you were buying your PFB diamante studded mini Porsches you still wouldn't have to justify the spending to anyone. Ignore them.

AfroditeJones Wed 26-Feb-14 11:31:53

Stollen hummmm I am hubgry smile. My closest friend criticised me about the scooter and a school mum about the book when she saw dd holding the envelope. It was actualy £7 but I lied and said £5. She asked me why I just dont get books from the library. Well I do of course but dd wanted to buy one from her school. Don't see nothing wrong with this. Funnily this school mum was buying a piece of chocolate cake from the bakers yesterday. I should have pointed out she would be better off baking one!

chandlerbing Wed 26-Feb-14 11:44:53

I think some people are downright nosey tbh.

One of my DD's friends' mums always asks questions about anything and everything and then offers unwanted, unasked-for advice. People like that are best ignored.

I do find the 'completely baffled' expression works well when people come up with this sort of thing.

The other thing is to make sure you do actually feel confident about your own choices, as then you're less likely to um and aah and feel like you have to explain yourself. Most children do actually own a few books as well as get extras from the library. Unless the �7 meant that you couldn't put food on the table or buy her a coat to keep the rain off, then it really has F all to do with anyone else how you spend your money!

AfroditeJones Wed 26-Feb-14 11:46:05

Also my friend who criticised the scooter purchase also bought new ones for her kids when they needed. Apparently Dd doesn't deserve another brand new one because she have had one already. I did try hard to get a second hand one but those scooters hold their value and the savings I would be making are not worth it considering P&P and wear and tear. Also not easy finding the colour she wants.

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