AIBU to wish my colleague would STOP EATING for five sodding minutes?

(192 Posts)
SelectAUserName Tue 25-Feb-14 15:35:56

I have recently moved desks and the colleague I now sit opposite never seems to stop eating. So far as I know she has no medical conditions that mean she has to graze constantly, it seems to be a combination of liking her food and possibly boredom/habit.

It is driving me up the wall as it is just non-stop. I am learning a new system, I'm having to concentrate hard (inbetween Mumsnetting, obviously wink ) and it's all to a constant backdrop of rustle-chomp-gulp-rustle-chomp-gulp. She started eating at 09:15 this morning and has barely paused for breath since. It was the same yesterday. I've started yearning to be invited to a meeting just to get away from it, and that's saying something...

ShutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupSHUTUP!

Can I just add another one to this...if it's necessary to eat a boiled sweet at your desk (and I can see how that might be important now and again) is it really necessary to clack it around your teeth repeatedly?

The clacking. I just can't bear it.

MistressDeeCee Fri 28-Feb-14 18:15:58

I wouldnt be able to take the sight and sound of that constant munching, gulping, talking with food in the mouth. Its beyond slobbish. If people want to be slobs thats their choice, but having to be in their presence when they're constantly troughing must be a real bind. Poor you, OP. Her desk must be littered with crumbs, as for the smell of food wafting all day whilst working..I can't imagine it. All sounds like a health hazard. Who'd want to put up with that? Anyone saying you should, is just 'Im alright jack' as they don't have to put up with similar. It sounds sickening and thats saying the very least. Not sure what you could do about it, though. Earphones would be a start. Then you could just not look at her & what she's eating. If asked Id find it easy enough to very calmly say 'sorry, I find it difficult to cope with the sight & sound of constant eating'. We all handle things in our own ways, though. Any chance 'stand up' air freshener (or 2) on your desk? A potted plant to block out the sight of her greedy gob, at least? But I think you'll very soon become despondent if you don't find ways to handle this. It souhds funny in a way..but, it isn't.

GertyD Fri 28-Feb-14 18:03:36

This would drive me absolutely, murderously crazy. You are amazing for remaining calm for so long.

Cleartheclutter Fri 28-Feb-14 17:51:50

Quangle good idea, maybe it does deserve its own twitter feed grin

Posting on here has made it easier to deal with her constant eating, if I can't see what she is eating, I ask her then post it on here!!! Think I am getting obsessed, if she had to report on me the only thing she could say is a salad at lunch, I generally do not eat between meals

for as long as it takes these people to eat and waste company time surely its the same thing taking notes of what these people are eating and the times and how much etc etc etc. get yourself headphones, turn up phone loud so can hear it when it rings, get yourself a fan or some smelly thing for your desk if the smell bothers you. then maybe she will complain about your loud music, loud phone and strong smelling pot pourri!!

It is quicker for me to post what she eats than it takes her constant trips to the fridge, microwave, washing dishes, preparing her next snack - the two are not equal

spongebob13 Fri 28-Feb-14 17:45:10

for as long as it takes these people to eat and waste company time surely its the same thing taking notes of what these people are eating and the times and how much etc etc etc. get yourself headphones, turn up phone loud so can hear it when it rings, get yourself a fan or some smelly thing for your desk if the smell bothers you. then maybe she will complain about your loud music, loud phone and strong smelling pot pourri!!

Quangle Fri 28-Feb-14 17:06:26

cleartheclutter this could be a twitter feed. It's weirdly fascinating.

Cleartheclutter Fri 28-Feb-14 16:32:10

A few more biscuits now it is time for her to have a cup of soup and an apple and then she is going to get the grapes

HellsGranny Fri 28-Feb-14 14:26:36

Phew, until I read she was a Noo Yorker I panicked that someone was writing about me...I do graze...a lot.

Eating disorder?

Cleartheclutter Fri 28-Feb-14 12:53:59

She has gone to heat up a rice and casserole meal in a pot now

Cleartheclutter Fri 28-Feb-14 12:46:10

She has just had a cup of soup, biscuits and now opening crisps then she will have lunch!

Cleartheclutter Fri 28-Feb-14 09:52:22

So today so far she has eaten:

2 slices of toast with peanut butter and marmite confused
Sweets
Bowl of cornflakes

not even 10am yet!!!!

scarletforya Thu 27-Feb-14 17:21:47

Lid licking and finger sucking make me feel sick!

I worked with a woman who on finishing a bag of crisps would tear it open and systematically rub off all the salt with her fingers sucking them to get the salt off.it was nauseating. She also had a very long yellow thumbnail in which mashed potato used to collect. She used to suck it out.

She was a revolting pig.

Or plates right next to the dishwasher?

If you have gone to the effort of carrying the plate from your office to the kitchen then why wouldn't you wash it/put it in the dishwasher?
Who are you expecting to do that for you?

Cleartheclutter Thu 27-Feb-14 17:13:32

Tantrums our non stop eating colleagues sound remarkably similar grin

moondog Thu 27-Feb-14 17:10:04

And what on earth induces folk to leave filthy cups and crockery on their desks or leave filthy mugs filled with water in a sink? I don't get that. Bloody wash the thing!

She's just eaten a bloody mini trifle thing. FFS it's going home time, you could not have eaten that at home??

And she licked the foil. And left her teaspoon on her crumb ridden desk.

Cleartheclutter Thu 27-Feb-14 16:55:40

How do they eat so much?

I think this everyday!

moondog Thu 27-Feb-14 16:52:54

A woman I know once micro waved a kipper and took it into the (very crowded) staffroom to eat. The horrified response of all therein was something else again. She was mortified but I cannot fathom how she thought this would ever have been ok.

Cleartheclutter Thu 27-Feb-14 16:51:09

But some if the posts. Just sound like pure jealousy. That people can eat what they want without putting on weight. But you only have to 'look' at a bar of chocolate

The woman who sits near me has put on 8lbs in the last few months and doesn't know why. I am slimmer than her and not jealous whatsoever. That is not the issue

The bloke opposite me at work cannot take a sip of water, tea, anything without swilling it round his mouth first. I almost expect him to gargle it and it makes me want to puke

moondog Thu 27-Feb-14 16:30:59

Hilariously surreal thread. I keep in having to whip out my phone to read the latest. Hooting at whole lettuce woman and cheesecake man and operating vet and thought of firemen trough inch sausage rolls. Loving running commentary on colleagues too. Can well imagine someone pausing mid MNing ready to ram in a penguin and realising to their horror that they are the person in question.

Egusta Thu 27-Feb-14 16:30:03

Thanks Imnot. She had 4 good years with me. I originally rescued her because some boys were kicking her. She was such a dear. So cuddly. I miss her dreadfully.

WorraLiberty Thu 27-Feb-14 16:28:22

I know Twilight, there are still some restaurants that have toothpicks on the tables.

Imagine eating your meal and spotting someone digging steak out of their teeth...yuk!

Twilight23 Thu 27-Feb-14 16:26:42

Worra It is disgusting to lick your fingers or or pick food out of your teeth after eating. I have seen many people do this and I refuse to eat anything once their hands have been all over it.

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