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AIBU to wish my colleague would STOP EATING for five sodding minutes?

(192 Posts)
SelectAUserName Tue 25-Feb-14 15:35:56

I have recently moved desks and the colleague I now sit opposite never seems to stop eating. So far as I know she has no medical conditions that mean she has to graze constantly, it seems to be a combination of liking her food and possibly boredom/habit.

It is driving me up the wall as it is just non-stop. I am learning a new system, I'm having to concentrate hard (inbetween Mumsnetting, obviously wink ) and it's all to a constant backdrop of rustle-chomp-gulp-rustle-chomp-gulp. She started eating at 09:15 this morning and has barely paused for breath since. It was the same yesterday. I've started yearning to be invited to a meeting just to get away from it, and that's saying something...

ShutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupSHUTUP!

manicinsomniac Tue 25-Feb-14 15:38:26

ugh, YANBU. That would make me feel sick after a while. I have an irrational dislike of hearing other people eating. At meal times and reasonable snack times that makes me unreasonable. But all day, every day - yuck no, she is.

WorraLiberty Tue 25-Feb-14 15:39:15

I can't stand noisy eaters

Also, I've never had a job where you could eat anything unless it was lunchtime or tea break.

Doesn't all the eating affect the amount of work she does?

SelectAUserName Tue 25-Feb-14 15:43:04

<mutters darkly> She uses her PC with one hand and shovels food in with the other.

It's a very relaxed, informal office. Too cocking relaxed and informal if you ask me!

mummymeister Tue 25-Feb-14 15:47:39

aren't there any rules about eating at the desk? does she have to answer the phone?it gets right on my nerves when someone picks up and they are obviously eating. could you have a word with her or may be ask to move back to your old desk.

HollaAtMeBaby Tue 25-Feb-14 15:47:50

I would have to say something. Is she overweight?

Puzzledandpissedoff Tue 25-Feb-14 15:50:15

Look on the bright side - I used to have a colleague (I wish I was making this up but I'm not) who'd pick her nose and wipe the result under the desk shock

I really thought it was only little kids who did that ...

DomesticDisgrace Tue 25-Feb-14 15:50:49

Ugh that's disgusting, yeah I want to know if she's overweight too blush

encyclogirl Tue 25-Feb-14 15:52:41

Oh my, I couldn't cope with that. I used to have a very noisy eater next to me in my last job. Between snacking and eating breakfast and lunch and even sometimes her 'tea' at her desk. I wonder how she got any work done at all.

Everything had to be assembled too, and then there was the washing up afterwards.

It was seriously distracting!

SylvaniansKeepGettingHoovered Tue 25-Feb-14 15:52:42

oh that would make me hungry....I'm intrigued now, what sort of thing is she eating? Is she having healthy nuts/cucumber sticks/apple or is she having cake/biscuit/crisps/chocolate? Maybe she's pregnant?

ShatnersBassoon Tue 25-Feb-14 15:52:47

I used to sit opposite a man who ate all day. Often smelly food like smoky bacon crisps, and often his nose pickings and things he scratched off his scalp. He was very unusual.

GoldenBeagle Tue 25-Feb-14 15:53:32

Oh, god, is it me?
blush

What does she eat?

WorraLiberty Tue 25-Feb-14 15:56:04

I'm not sure it matters what she eats, or if she's pregnant does it? grin

The OP says she can hear 'rustle-chomp-gulp-rustle-chomp-gulp'

That's enough for me to want to drop kick small, fluffy kittens.

NoseyParker4aHusband Tue 25-Feb-14 15:56:12

I used to sit next to someone who was a regular 'grazer' as well. It was doubly annoying as she was a skinny b**ch (Me, on the other hand, only have to sniff a chocolate and I gain 10lbs) angry

SelectAUserName Tue 25-Feb-14 15:56:24

She is overweight, the phone only rings sporadically and it's always internal - we are a 'backroom' function, not client-facing - so she doesn't seem to think it matters if she answers it while swallowing and my old desk is being used by someone else.

I find it hard to say something at present as I am the 'newcomer' to this team so don't want to come over as stroppy / awkward right from the off. Food seems to be a big 'thing' in this part of the office generally but she is far and away the worst.

Having finished a(nother) packeet of crisps and some biscuits, she has now just embarked on her second apple of the last hour.

<head-desk interface>

RiverTam Tue 25-Feb-14 15:58:56

oh my god, I have a temp next to me who has been non-stop crunching, munching, whistling and coughing. All over her desk, screen and papers. Without putting her hand over her mouth. For weeks. I don't want to have to touch anything she's been working on.

It is her last day. I am counting down the minutes.

mummymeister Tue 25-Feb-14 15:59:40

you have to say something sooner rather than later. so what if you are the newbie. even if she isn't customer facing then someone is getting the munched phone voice and it reflects badly on your department. ask her if she knows how much she eats. sorry, maybe I am too blunt for my own good.

SelectAUserName Tue 25-Feb-14 15:59:45

packet of crisps, not a packeet, which sounds like a bag of small parrots.

She's not pregnant, by an odd coincidence she and another colleague were having a joky conversation this morning about not planning any more children.

Must away and do some work, or I'll come across as a complete hypocrite, but I'm relieved to know I'm not BU!

SelectAUserName Tue 25-Feb-14 16:03:14

mummymeister I'm not usually backwards in coming forwards but she is quite scary. She is a Noo Yorker who Takes No Shit. She did a z-snap yesterday (apparently without irony). I wither and fold in the face of such �ber-confidence.

campion Tue 25-Feb-14 16:08:05

Oh no. Apples! It's obligatory (apparently) to eat one, as noisily as possible, whenever I appear in the staffroom (school), dining room, photocopying room and any other place that isn't actually a classroom. Moreover, my room technician has taken to eating her lunch in my classroom complete with bloody apple.

I only have to see someone with an apple now to find an excuse to go elsewhere.

I feel your pain, OP, I really do.

ps The proper way to eat an apple is to cut it up first! (Can you tell I'm obsessed? blush)

WipsGlitter Tue 25-Feb-14 16:11:30

Headphones. It's the only answer.

I worked with someone who ate a lot, but she was so sweet (and skinny) I didn't mind. She used to lick the foil bit of her yoghurt which made me laugh.

Quangle Tue 25-Feb-14 16:15:18

oh no! But you can't say anything - you just can't. That would make you the uptight weird one. What would you even say? Excuse me but you eat too much of your own food where I can see/hear you. But I know exactly how you feel

<remembers colleague who had a particular scraping-last-bits-of-yogurt-out-of-pot ritual that almost killed me>

eurochick Tue 25-Feb-14 16:18:47

I'm guilty of this. I'm a grazer. But I've had my own office for years. I am trying to curb it as I've just been given an office mate, but I am pregnant and so damned hungry all the time!

The sound of apple eating winds me up too though.

PhoneSexWithMalcolmTucker Tue 25-Feb-14 16:18:47

This used to be me. I was bored and had a bad attitude. I cringe at the memory tbh.

HungryHorace Tue 25-Feb-14 16:18:49

My mum does that, Quangle...death is too good for them!

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