to get annoyed with friend who just wants to talk about herself all the time

(34 Posts)
lananeeneenoonoo Wed 19-Feb-14 23:13:22

But apparently listens intently to everyone else. She bangs on about herself and about mutual friends, saying what a bad time poor old X is having, or how cute Y's children are, or whatever, but displays zero interest in what I say.

She also pops up on facebook chat every few days asking how I am, and I'll then reply and she'll then ignore what I've said, write a few paragraphs about herself and her children, and then say "Got to go now, speak soon x"

Like I said she is full of gossip/sympathy/understanding for other people but never acknowledges a thing about me.

Writerwannabe83 Wed 19-Feb-14 23:14:43

I've got one of these....

I'm having lunch with her tomorrow....

Can't wait..... hmm grin

expatinscotland Wed 19-Feb-14 23:15:41

And you continue to associate with this person why?

lananeeneenoonoo Wed 19-Feb-14 23:16:40

Urgh, poor you, Writer. I sympathise!

What bugs me is how she seems to listen to, and respect, everyone else, but takes me for granted.

lananeeneenoonoo Wed 19-Feb-14 23:17:04

expat, I keep asking myself that same question....

YouTheCat Wed 19-Feb-14 23:18:05

Next time she pops up and asks how you are, make up something completely outrageous. grin

lananeeneenoonoo Wed 19-Feb-14 23:31:48

Haha yes, like I'm considering a sex change or something grin

She'll more than likely just carry on talking about herself and won't take a jot of notice

tethersend Wed 19-Feb-14 23:34:09

Enough about me, what do you think about me?

lananeeneenoonoo Wed 19-Feb-14 23:49:10

I just don't get why she's so ignorant and self absorbed towards me but not to others.

I've had quite a hard time during the past year and she's not listened to anything about it, yet has sympathised with mutual friends' problems.

YouTheCat Wed 19-Feb-14 23:56:06

Maybe you're her 'go to' person who she talks to about herself because she doesn't with the others?

Or she might not know how to react to your problems?

I'd go with the gender reassignment and how you're considering calling yourself Gerald.

RonaldMcDonald Wed 19-Feb-14 23:56:58

she isn't your friend

lananeeneenoonoo Thu 20-Feb-14 00:01:16

I think next time she pops up on facebook for a chat I'll just ignore her. And if she suggests meeting for coffee I'll be too busy.

lananeeneenoonoo Thu 20-Feb-14 00:03:59

Actually come to think of it she is very abrupt to me too, compared to how she is with others. She'll comment on my facebook statuses with really abrupt things yet others get gushy replies.

VoyageDeVerity Thu 20-Feb-14 00:06:41

Stop seeing her!!!

missingmumxox Thu 20-Feb-14 00:06:57

Oh! Come on we are all guilty of this ?

lananeeneenoonoo Thu 20-Feb-14 00:09:49

All the time, missingmum?

TiffanyAtBreakfast Thu 20-Feb-14 00:36:18

I have a friend like this and it's so wearing. I have a message in my inbox from her as we speak, asking to meet up - but she doesn't drive or live near a station so what she's really asking is "drive here and listen to me talk about myself".

I am slowly and subtley trying to phase her out. No advice I'm afraid, other than to say that if it bothers you this much, let the friendship go. Life is short.

WaxingGibbon Thu 20-Feb-14 00:46:40

She sounds like a nightmare. If she isn't adding any value to your life, phase her out

I have a friend like this too - well actually she's the wife of dh's mate - and I find her company utterly exhausting

Littleturkish Thu 20-Feb-14 06:58:57

I had an amazing friend who was kind, fun, caring- my confident for important stuff, sounding board for brainstorming, my partner in crime!

Then she changed. Out of all recognition.

Now I still see her, but I seethe through most of the conversation. 90% of it is about her, her problems, what she thinks of her problems...Christ. It's tough.

I've gone from seeing her every week/twice a week to every couple of months. I keep contact as I hope she'll change back. It's a long shot, but I miss my real friend so much, it hurts to think she's gone. Honestly, it's like she died and I now have a manipulative self absorbed teen in her place.

EatDessertFirst Thu 20-Feb-14 07:04:09

I had one of these. Cutting her out was a New Years Resolution I actually stuck to.

Harsh, but great for my sanity.

AlwaysDancing1234 Thu 20-Feb-14 07:33:27

My sister is like this, I was having awful times in early pregnancy, miscarried one twin and was in danger of losing the other, not long out of hospital, worried about older DS etc. Spoke to my sis, all of this she knew but she asked me very briefly how I was, didn't really listen to the answer then proceeded to harp on about her boyfriend and flat mates for ages. I've pulled her up on it before and she's apologised but I think she just lives in her own world where she is most important. If your friend is constantly being like this on think you need to withdraw

lananeeneenoonoo Thu 20-Feb-14 11:05:30

The thing that bugs me is that she's clearly listening to some people as she seems to know all the gossip/their problems and thinks everyone else is wonderful, and I just can't understand why she doesn't have the manners to listen to me too.

HappyMummyOfOne Thu 20-Feb-14 11:13:34

She doesnt sound like a good friend tbh.

Its bad enough when its a work colleague you cant escape who think she is the first women to get married, first to get pregnant and mentions her children in every sentance. Men are much less me me me and i can see why lots of people have friends of a different sex.

drnoitall Thu 20-Feb-14 11:21:06

I have an annoying ds exactly as you described.
I'm keeping my distance.
She just wants an audience. It's not mutual conversation and it's bloody annoying.

TheArticFunky Thu 20-Feb-14 11:24:40

I have some relatives like this. People like this take people for granted they don't need to impress you or go out of their way to be helpful as they know that you will be there for them. They make an effort with other people because they don't receive the same level of loyalty from them. It isn't nice but even when it is pointed out to them they don't really get it.

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