To take DH cake at work?

(78 Posts)

DH is having a really hard time at work at the moment, one of his colleagues (who went for the promotion that DH got) is making his life a misery and his boss is too busy to care. I only work around the corner from him so would really like to take him some cake at lunchtime just to show I'm thinking of him and I support him. But worried it might look a bit...I don't know, interfering? Inappropriate? I never normally go to his work apart from to take DS in when he was born 16 months ago.

WWYD?

Alisvolatpropiis Wed 19-Feb-14 20:16:37

It's a nice idea. But leave the cake at reception.

I would hate it if my dp did this and walked into my office.

It is my place of work, totally separate from my life at home and doesn't look professional.

CinnabarRed Wed 19-Feb-14 15:46:25

In my office, informal visitors aren't allowed past reception. So DH would need to ask the receptionist to call me, and (assuming I was at my desk to take the call) I would have to come to reception to collect it. So no issue with being embarrassed in front of my colleagues. But a greater than 50% chance of me not being at my desk and hence DH having a wasted trip.

I don't work in a high risk profession either!

SelectAUserName Wed 19-Feb-14 14:49:08

As it's after lunch it's probably a non-issue now, but FWIW I would have sent him a text saying I hoped he was having a better day today and I was bringing a piece of cake home for him. Possibly even send him a picture of said cake.

He then knows you're thinking about him but he doesn't have to do anything or deal with any potential fall-out from childish colleagues and he has something nice to look forward to when he gets home.

If it's a fairly formal office I really wouldn't.

scottishmummy Wed 19-Feb-14 14:41:48

Op has already admitted it's not done thing.it draws attention and bit twee

KonkeyDong Wed 19-Feb-14 14:40:01

Good grief, it's cake - not uranium.

Take him the cake, I doubt the knobchops in the office will know unless the OP goes in with it plastered across her.

My DH passes my office every now and then and always drops in with cake/biscuits for the office and me. He's done this in a couple of jobs now, since I've been off on mat leave I'll drop cakes into his office too.

It's a kind gesture, if you're not sure on how hel'll take it - text first to say you're on the way.

scottishmummy Wed 19-Feb-14 14:34:46

I'd hate if dp arrived unannounced.and it would be a faff,I may not be available

Dilidali Wed 19-Feb-14 14:31:50

I'm not from 'round here, so I never thought visiting your partner at work would be frowned upon. I just did it, took a massive cake round for no apparent reason and that was that. They all absolutely loved it, more to the point, it's become a bit of a tradition; sometimes DH comes home with a slice of cake for me from one of his colleagues who's turn it was to bring one in.
Cake and tea are good for the soul. Especially on a Thursday.

squoosh Wed 19-Feb-14 14:24:27

Guess it comes down to what kind of place you work in. A two person office? Probably fine. A multi national organisation with seven levels of security? Probably not.

HadABadDay2014 Wed 19-Feb-14 14:23:07

I love it when DH brings me breakfast in my works.

It doesn't have to be a big gesture to cheer the OP's husband up! though! does it? Nip in - "Hi love, I've bought you some cake", smile, maybe a kiss, "see you at home! enjoy the cake" - and leave.

And if anyone asks why his wife bought him some cake - well, the answer is simple - "Because I like cake, and she thought I'd appreciate some". I can't se that that would raise eyebrows unnecessarily. If I saw that happen, I'd just think 'Oh how nice - she brought him cake. I wish I had cake.'

scottishmummy Wed 19-Feb-14 14:03:14

Yes,I agree the female colleague needs to deal with disappointment and move on
Not good for anyone to create a bad atmosphere

rach6122 Wed 19-Feb-14 14:02:59

I would love it if dh dropped some cake into me at lunchtime, and I wouldn't care what colleagues thought! Dh said the same. Don't see the issue you wouldn't be announcing that it was to cheer him up because he was having a hard time there!

LayMeDown Wed 19-Feb-14 13:57:22

She didn't get the promotion SM OPs DH did. So she should learn to deal with her disappointment. So name calling by other poster was nothing to do with promotion and everything to do with her bullying behaviour.

WorraLiberty Wed 19-Feb-14 13:50:54

This is such a non issue

Just text him and ask if he wants a bit of cake dropped off! grin

scottishmummy Wed 19-Feb-14 13:50:06

Why is a female colleague who got a promotion presumed to be a so called wankbadger
Uncomfortable as it is,maybe the female colleague was best candidate for job
You know what as adults we deal with disappointment,both work and personal

Agree about unannounced visits - DH runs his own business, for many years there were just him and two colleagues who I had known personally as long as I've known DH and I still wouldn't have dreamed of calling in unannounced, you never know if they are in a telecon, or with a client or just very busy.

Objection Wed 19-Feb-14 13:45:23

I took OH cake to work a few times when he was working. But cake tends to be shared around! Why not take him out for lunch instead and accidentally knock wankbadger colleagues tea all over his desk

CinnabarRed Wed 19-Feb-14 13:40:33

I agree entirely with MorrisZap here: I don't think unannounced workplace visits are at all the thing, even when you're friendly with and known by colleagues. You don't know the lie of the land, you can't just stroll in there

scottishmummy Wed 19-Feb-14 13:40:28

If I were having hard time at work I'd not like a spontaneous cake,big gesture
I'd appreciate support at home,that safety of private support.that priceless
But a visible gesture would be too uncomfortable,and unwittingly draw attention

CinnabarRed Wed 19-Feb-14 13:39:21

How do you know that he's even free to receive your (very kind and lovely) cake? He could have back-to-back meetings all day.

MorrisZapp Wed 19-Feb-14 13:38:31

When I was a kid I remember my mum noticing that my dad had forgotten his fags in the morning (twas 1970s!). She said let's go and give these to daddy at work. Looking back, there was probably more to that than the fags, but anyway she took us three on the bus and we turned up at his work, he was at that time a furniture salesman in a showroom.

I remember seeing a circle of men in suits having a conversation, and then running up to my dad and cuddling him as soon as I recognised him.

He was delighted to see me of course but as an adult now I wonder what the chat was at home that night. I don't think unannounced workplace visits are at all the thing, even when you're friendly with and known by colleagues. You don't know the lie of the land, you can't just stroll in there.

Good point about putting him on the spot and him having to explain why I suddenly brought cake in if anyone asks- not like its his birthday or anything.

Its a female colleague he's having the issue with there isn't a group of them bullying or anything its all work-related rather than personal. it is an office he works in, a fairly formal one.

Its funny I know he would love cake but I'm not sure whether he would find it odd me suddenly appearing in the office- trying to work out if I would like it if the roles were reversed and I would like it but my office isn't that formal and I've known all my colleagues for years.

The PP who said her male colleague felt 'humiliated' when his wife did something similar did he explain why? It seems a very strong reaction to a kind gesture.

Whatdoiknowanyway Wed 19-Feb-14 13:32:19

No
Reminds me of the episode in friends where Ross took in balloons and gifts for Rachel and then was cross with her because she wasn't delighted. Professional and personal don't mix well in that way.

LayMeDown Wed 19-Feb-14 13:32:12

Yes SM I understand your point which is why I suggested leaving it at reception. My sceptical face was not about you and other posters warnings not to draw undue attention but at the fact that this needed to be considered because some supposed grown ups are so juvenile.

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