To take DH cake at work?

(78 Posts)

DH is having a really hard time at work at the moment, one of his colleagues (who went for the promotion that DH got) is making his life a misery and his boss is too busy to care. I only work around the corner from him so would really like to take him some cake at lunchtime just to show I'm thinking of him and I support him. But worried it might look a bit...I don't know, interfering? Inappropriate? I never normally go to his work apart from to take DS in when he was born 16 months ago.

WWYD?

falulahthecat Wed 19-Feb-14 11:08:46

Your DH may not want this person to know that he's getting to him so much.
So if I were you why not give him a text and, as pp poster said, save the cake (and a cuddle) for later.
Perhaps start a new thread with some of the things this man is doing?
For one thing I know I and DP have 'dealt with' some difficult (jealous, butter) colleagues and we may have some advice for him on dealing with a new, difficult situation.

BeautifulBlondePineapple Wed 19-Feb-14 11:10:47

I think it's a nice thought. But I'd buy the cake & text him to meet me outside the office. Definitely wouldn't take it in.

Chivetalking Wed 19-Feb-14 11:11:29

It's a nice idea in theory but probably better just to meet him for lunch.

Or a private coffee where you could present him with a slice to scarf away from hawk eyed piss-taking colleagues.

falulahthecat Wed 19-Feb-14 11:15:34

*bitter, not butter. O-o

Reminder Wed 19-Feb-14 11:33:47

Nothing to do with keeping the little woman out of the office; more that professional and personal are separate.Im always a bit hmm when women receive flowers at work too but if it's going to happen far better to have them delivered than bring them in person.

In this situation I just think its more likely to make things worse for op's dh than better

Thanks all, grin at the idea of bird poo cake! We did meet for lunch last month and that was really nice but can't really be a regular thing as we are both so busy with meetings etc. I just happen to have a quieter day today and thought I would call in. Like many posters I feel it isn't the 'done' thing but I can't seem to articulate why?! But then I am torn because he would so love a piece of carrot cake I know it would make his day but... am torn!

squoosh Wed 19-Feb-14 11:51:33

I wouldn't. I wouldn't want my partner dropping in with an eclair to cheer me up at work. Not sure what's 1950's about that!

Save it till I get home in the evening thanks.

Crinkle77 Wed 19-Feb-14 11:52:36

I agree with maras2. If your hubby is already having trouble with someone at work it might give them more ammunition to make trouble for him. I would get a nice cake for after his tea.

divisionbyzero Wed 19-Feb-14 11:59:23

I think blowing the lid on him feeling miserable may be a victory for the other person in one or both of their eyes.

Your lovely and probably much needed sentiment can be expressed away from prying eyes smile

scottishmummy Wed 19-Feb-14 12:00:24

Great your attuned to how he's feeling but no unannounced visit or cake at work
The commiseration needs to take place at home,not in arena of work
Plus it leads to loads of why questions he'll need to hurriedly answer

Better to plot at home,put works right over the cake and tea

AwfulMaureen Wed 19-Feb-14 12:00:51

Why is everyone assuming the DH works in an office? He might work anywhere!

scottishmummy Wed 19-Feb-14 12:02:25

Why not,office is walls,desk,phones,PC.and yes it's location most of us work in

AwfulMaureen Wed 19-Feb-14 12:04:34

Socttish I wouldn't say that...where do you get that from? "Most of us"?

AwfulMaureen Wed 19-Feb-14 12:04:57

Most workplaces have PCs and phones!

scottishmummy Wed 19-Feb-14 12:17:59

I'd commiserate at home with him,not in the office

Viviennemary Wed 19-Feb-14 12:22:44

No don't. Take him out for a nice meal or other treat you think he would enjoy.

CrazyOldCatLady Wed 19-Feb-14 12:26:12

I'd probably go and buy him a nice lunch, including carrot cake, then text him and tell him I was outside with it. Give him the lunch and a kiss and scarper.

Reminder Wed 19-Feb-14 12:31:13

Why does it matter so much Maureen?

If he works outside he office on his own then opwoukdnt have these concerns and it really would be odd to turn up with cake while he was serving customers in a shop/dealing with patients/teaching/on a building site/driving a bus

EduCated Wed 19-Feb-14 12:36:20

It depends on the workplace - when I worked in a shop it would have been absolutely fine for people to drop in and say hi. In my current job not so much, our office is in a 'staff only' area and it would be awkward for someone dropping in.

SarahBumBarer Wed 19-Feb-14 12:47:04

Eh -if you're worried why don't you just text him and say that you have a peice of carrot cake with his name on it and would he like you to pop in with it or save it for home? Then he can choose.

My DH would not give a rat's ass if I popped in to his work (if he still worked OoH) because he is not the kind of guy who gives a tiny little shit about people he works with being weird about his wife making a nice gesture. Thank fuck!

BlueStones Wed 19-Feb-14 13:00:17

Sheesh, what's the problem? I'd love it if my partner did this. OP knows her husband, surely?

squoosh Wed 19-Feb-14 13:04:02

Well she doesn't seem to be sure at all if he'd appreciate it.

scottishmummy Wed 19-Feb-14 13:19:19

Undoubtedly her dh would like they gesture.questionable is reaction of others
Understandably,has misgivings about how others will react,will it cause dh jip
IMO,not appropriate and may give ammo to his detractors to be nosy

LayMeDown Wed 19-Feb-14 13:23:08

Is there a reception/ security desk. I'd probably drop it there in a box or bag with his name. Then text him saying you've left him some cake to cheer him up.
He pops out to get it from reception at his own convenience. Any saddo in his office who care enough to notice will just think he bought it for himself. Then no one can tease him about his wife loving him hmm.

scottishmummy Wed 19-Feb-14 13:27:52

Yes,but he's got to work with these so called saddos.hes having hard time
This isn't about whether not wife loves him,that's not point.not about her
It's about support that doesn't draw undue attention to him,or cause additional distress

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