Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

AIBU?

WIBU at the pool

106 replies

Bellini81 · 18/02/2014 15:45

My son has swimming lessons at our local pool.
The training pool is in half for the 2 different groups of learners. One side is a bit younger than his side. Say 5-6 years old.

They all finish at the same time & as my son climbed out to be wrapped in a towel one of the fathers of the younger group pushed his daughter to me and said 'you take her into ladies and shower her' I politely said I couldn't do that as 1: that was the first time I had even set eyes on this girl and her on me and 2: I was planning on just throwing my sons clothes on and get him into a bath at home which we often do after swimming.

He huffed and sighed and I left.

The next set of lessons swing by and the same dad did EXACTLY the same thing to me pushed his daughter to me and demand I shower her.

I said to him that again I didn't feel comfortable showering a girl I didn't know and he got a bit aggressive and said 'what the fuck am I supposed to do then?' I said 'well when my husband takes our daughter she showers and dresses in the men's room with him'

He got really angry and paced around so I got our bits and hurried into the changing room with my son.

About a minute later the same dad stormed into the women's changing room with his daughter and shoved her under the shower with lots of naked women going "oiii" so he pointed to me and said 'it's her fault as she wouldn't shower her'...
He left pretty quickly after that and got his daughter dressed by the pool as when I left there was a lifeguard there with the man and again he was gesturing at me saying 'fucking this, fucking that'.

I explained to the lifeguard that he was being really aggressive because I refused to shower a child I don't know and he just sort of nodded.

I mean was I being really really unreasonable?

My son prefers the men's changing room but I don't randomly ask men if they could take my son and shower him? Why was it any different for a woman to do it? Would you have just showered her to save the aggro I eventually got?

OP posts:

Report

Valdeeves · 18/02/2014 15:50

I think he sounds terrible - I'd report his behaviour to the swim club. His poor daughter - that's basic care and he's getting riled over it.

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 18/02/2014 15:52

YANBU!

Elderberri · 18/02/2014 15:52

WTAF.......he needs reporting..asking total strangers to shower his daughter naked.

whitepuddingsupper · 18/02/2014 15:52

He was a fucking dickhead, his poor daughter being palmed off on strangers to be showered, she must have been mortified.

kinkyfuckery · 18/02/2014 15:52

Wow what an aggressive twat.

I definitely would have done/said the same in your situation - and reported him to the club/pool.

DrSeuss · 18/02/2014 15:52

What kind of person asks a random stranger to shower their child?!
YWDNBU!

WooWooOwl · 18/02/2014 15:52

That man was a freak, and you did the right thing. It's not all all unreasonable to refuse to shower a child you don't know!

Melonbreath · 18/02/2014 15:53

Yanbu. Aside from demanding a total stranger to wash his child effing and blinding in front of her is nasty.

RunRabbit · 18/02/2014 15:54

YANBU. He sounds like an utter dick and you were too nice.

I would have said no, but only because I don't tolerate rude behaviour.

If someone asked and was polite about it I would have taken her with me and not showered her but I would have shown her where the shower was, and kept a look out.

FunkyBoldRibena · 18/02/2014 15:54

Don't they have a family area?

kotinka · 18/02/2014 15:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

littlebluedog12 · 18/02/2014 15:55

Oh my goodness that's awful! DH just showers the DDs at the side of the pool. Definitely make a complaint about him. Did he ask anyone else, or were you the only mum around?

YouStayClassySanDiego · 18/02/2014 15:55

He sounds like a twat.

If he'd accosted me like that I've have just said 'no, don't be ridiculous, I don't know you or your child' and walked off.

As for him accusing you within the changing room, I'd have made sure that the other women knew exactly what the score was.

His language in front of his child was appalling too, poor kid having to put up with that.

jacks365 · 18/02/2014 15:58

What is it recently this is the second thread where a man has gone into the women's changing room with a young child. Just take them in the mens ffs. YADNBU he's being a total idiot.

ageofgrandillusion · 18/02/2014 15:58

Sounds like a nut-job to me.

ChampagneTastes · 18/02/2014 15:59

That poor little girl - to be raised by such a ridiculous man-child. Obviously YWNBU. Quite apart from all the issues of showering a strange child, it's not your bloody problem!!

AngelaDaviesHair · 18/02/2014 15:59

Complain to pool. At my old gym a stunt like that would get you banned.

Thumbwitch · 18/02/2014 15:59

YWNBU at all!

I might have taken her into the shower area in the ladies, but I wouldn't have undressed her, just showered her with her costume on and sent her back to her Dad.

If he's that "unsorted" when it comes to aftercare of his daughter, then he should have just dried her off, taken her home and showered her there.

What a very rude man, and a stupid thing for him to have attempted! And as for him then entering the women's changing room, well that needs to be reported too, if it wasn't already.

Bellini81 · 18/02/2014 15:59

Thank you, I did question myself after as he was so angry so I kept thinking 'should I have just did it?' I am CRB checked etc as I work in a school but he doesn't bloody know that..

The little girl didn't utter a word, not even when he was swearing.

I seemed to be the only one he asked but some of the other mums etc have more than one child with them and look busy so maybe he spotted me with just my son and thought bingo, who knows? There are no family rooms and no poolside showers no. Its not the biggest of pools around.

The staff were a bit uninterested, they are all very young and were a bit shruggy about the whole episode..

OP posts:

kotinka · 18/02/2014 16:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mrstigs · 18/02/2014 16:02

Heck, you were most certainly nbu. That man's behaviour was appalling. I would like to think the pool staff had some strong words for him when you left. How could he possibly think it was reasonable to 'demand' a stranger showers and dresses his child, storm the ladies changing rooms, then swear and rant at the pool staff because you wouldn't 'do as you were told'. Some people!

Bootoyou2 · 18/02/2014 16:07

It isn't a disaster if he were to quickly get her dry and dressed and have a shower once home is it? What is going to happen to her?!

If I was naked and he burst in on me I would be calling security/ police!
That sounds awful.

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Email address

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

Floggingmolly · 18/02/2014 16:09

Why does he pick you every time, do you think?

arethereanyleftatall · 18/02/2014 16:10

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Bowlersarm · 18/02/2014 16:10

Speak to the manager.

It's not acceptable behaviour by this man.

He really expects a stranger to take his daughter for a shower? Then takes her into the ladies himself when the stranger refuses?

Mighty weird behaviour.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.