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Is it me or my mum, who is BU?

(26 Posts)
Evilwater Mon 17-Feb-14 20:15:54

I've just got my son (16 months) not using dummies for the daytime, so apparently he needs a soft toy comforter instead. hmm
I say no, my mum says yes.

So who is being BU?

pictish Mon 17-Feb-14 20:17:26

Neither...but I suppose ultimately it's up to you, seeing as it's your son.
I don't think he needs anything, but my kids all take a soft toy to bed at night.

Euphemia Mon 17-Feb-14 20:17:59

What do you mean by soft toy comforter? A cuddly toy?

Evilwater Mon 17-Feb-14 20:18:28

It's not for bed, which I am hoping to do. But for the day time.

pictish Mon 17-Feb-14 20:18:42

Oh I see...it's for during the day...erm no...nothing required unless he takes a shine to something in particular.
Strange of your mum to push this.

Evilwater Mon 17-Feb-14 20:19:23

Yes, a small soft toy for him to take around during the day.

Euphemia Mon 17-Feb-14 20:20:46

Don't children just naturally find a toy they like, and want with them all the time?

DD's 11 and still cuddles the horse she preferred when she was 2. smile

Doesn't it just happen naturally? Do you have to give them a soft toy?

pictish Mon 17-Feb-14 20:21:33

Nah...it's not neccessary.
My ds2 used to go everywhere with Ted jammed under his arm, which was very cute, but that was his own choice.

Evilwater Mon 17-Feb-14 20:21:54

Apperently so, I was told he needs one. Not sure why.

Euphemia Mon 17-Feb-14 20:22:26

So ask her.

youarewinning Mon 17-Feb-14 20:22:58

If he wants one, he'll chose one and you'll need a crow bar to get it off him!

Evilwater Mon 17-Feb-14 20:23:09

Oh, yes to help calm him down!
So I'm not going crazy!! Thanks.

harriet247 Mon 17-Feb-14 20:25:13

Dd has her blanky for both

yellowsnownoteatwillyou Mon 17-Feb-14 20:25:56

Your mum is trying to make your son have a comforter? That's weird. Surely they decide there selves if they want something, have you stopped giving him a dummy or does he not want one. My ds constantly has a muslin, but he's only 7 months. Plays with it, naps with it and has one at bed. The good thing is he doesn't care which one he has (at the moment) as they are all the same. Forcing a toy that there I only 1 off seems strange.
I've only heard of one child suddenly having a comforter at about 3, and it happened as her friend had one.

Deadhamsterssmell Mon 17-Feb-14 20:26:10

Is your Mum going to be looking for this toy every time it goes missing?

If you have managed to wean him off the dummies then, unless he chooses something himself, I wouldn't push anything else on him.

Jengnr Mon 17-Feb-14 20:27:19

If he's not that mithered they'll get dropped and lost everywhere.

HearMyRoar Mon 17-Feb-14 20:27:45

Well, its up to him isn't it. If he wants one he will have one whether you like it or not. If he doesnt want one then your DM can try all she wants but he won't take to it.

Evilwater Mon 17-Feb-14 20:30:36

Thank you, I feel very justified!

Evilwater Mon 17-Feb-14 20:33:08

I shall tell her next time I see her, that I've thought about it. If my DS wants one, then HE will let me know.

Pilgit Mon 17-Feb-14 21:34:29

'Transitional objects' - which is what comforters are, can be useful to help a child move between situations that they may be uncertain about. It is something that helps them to feel safe because it is associated with home/somewhere safe. DD1 has a teddy that went everywhere with her for about 2 years. It was really helpful when DH went back to uni and everything was really uncertain in her life. DD2 loves her muslins - these are a lot easier to handle as she's isn't specific (we had to be super vigilant about teddy....). However, it only works or is useful if the child chooses it themselves. Some children don't need them or find comfort in something else. If he does choose something, make sure you get a duplicate (we didn't and I regret it - persuading an 18month old manky, smelly, vomit covered teddy was not the easiest challenge...!)

sadbodyblue Mon 17-Feb-14 21:38:12

ds2 now a strapping 23 year old had a comfort blanket. we were burgled and the bastards took it.

that caused us far more heartache than the burglary.

don't give him one unless he seeks one out.

Catsmamma Mon 17-Feb-14 21:41:18

I have three children and never really bothered with this sort of thing...always reminded of my brother and his festering blankie!!

hell to pay if it was washed or missing

So once they were old enough to want to take things out, I just explained that it might get lost, and it was best to stay at home. Ds1 had a vile purple nylon shiney dinosaur for his favourite, but never out of the house.

2beornot Mon 17-Feb-14 21:49:59

I wouldn't bother unless ds needs something. We stopped dd having the dummy during the at about that age and she hasn't needed anything.

Our nursery encouraged us to give DD a "muzzie" (muslin cloth) as a comforter, but she was much younger when we did it than your DS. It worked really well and she still uses a muzzie at bedtime. Obviously they are washable and interchangeable, so we don't have to worry about losing them. She will only accept John Lewis ones, as she is a girl after my own heart. She doesn't take them out any more (3 yo).

Offler Mon 17-Feb-14 22:22:54

DS is 19 months and has never had a dummy (despite one being offered) or a comforter (despite various offerings). He is starting to get a fondness for Igglepiggle now, but I think that's more about the noises he makes grin .

DD had the lot, finally weaned her off her dummy at about 3, and strangely she lost interest in Gerry the Giraffe at the same time (Gerry was precious, we had 2, and he only left the house for long car journeys!!)

All kids are different, if he needs something he'll let you know wink .

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