To NOT let 14 year old girls stay the night with DS?

(84 Posts)
Spidermama Mon 17-Feb-14 11:25:00

He wants his mate and two 14 year old girls to come and stay the night here after their party tonight. I said I'd need to square it with their parents. He says 'that may be how things worked in your day but it just happen today.'

Would any mum, in her right mind, allow 14 year old girls to stay the night with her 14 year old son and his mate without even talking to the girls' parents?

minibmw2010 Mon 17-Feb-14 11:26:03

Of course not !! He's assuming that you'll back down after he says that. Not a chance that you don't double check or no-one stays.

lollilou Mon 17-Feb-14 11:27:48

No I would not. When my dd(14) wants to sleepover anywhere I always phone the parents to check.
I remember (just about) being that naughty 14 year old.smile

SwishAndFlick Mon 17-Feb-14 11:28:00

He's trying it on. No way would I allow it.

HadABadDay2014 Mon 17-Feb-14 11:28:29

I would check if it was ok with the parents, but wouldn't have a problem with mixed sexes sharing a room.

Triliteral Mon 17-Feb-14 11:30:18

I'd square it with the parents first. Oddly enough, two years ago my own 14 year old son used to tell me no-one else's parents did this. Obviously it wasn't true then, and isn't true now!

I can see the argument against but I met one of my best friends aged 16 who just happened to be a boy. Wee slept in the same room and same bed thousands of times since then and not a moment of funny business has ever been attempted. I think it depends on his relationship with the girls.

uc Mon 17-Feb-14 11:30:37

No way! When I spoke to the parents, I'd be making it clear that they would be sleeping in separate rooms (preferably one upstairs, one downstairs). And I'd have my door open!!!!

Writerwannabe83 Mon 17-Feb-14 11:32:48

He's trying it on grin

And I certainly wouldn't let them all share the same room - I remember when me and my best friend were 14 and spent the night with two boys of the same age all in the same room. Just because they're in the same room doesn't mean fumbling won't take place - quilts and sleeping bags are very good at hiding cheeky behaviours! smile

I doubt very much the girl's parents would agree to it anyway unless there is a way of absolutely ensuring there will be no night time shenanigans smile

HadABadDay2014 Mon 17-Feb-14 11:34:27

Who says they are going to have sex, if they wanted to they would have.

walterwhiteswife Mon 17-Feb-14 11:38:03

my ds best friend is a girl x

Puttheshelvesup Mon 17-Feb-14 11:38:29

No way would I NOT check, and would insist on separate rooms too. I lost my virginity at 14 because I decided it was a good idea, and bf's parents who were in the house at the time were far too trusting and naïve.

Finola1step Mon 17-Feb-14 11:39:14

No way. Not because of the two boys, two girls thing per se. It's more to do with him trying to stop you contacting the girls' parents. Very suspect.

I remember being 14 or 15 and telling my parents that I was having a sleepover at one particular friends house. She told her parents that we were staying at mine...

TwoJackRussellsandababy Mon 17-Feb-14 11:41:21

No I wouldn't if anything happened the girls are below the age of consent. Not in anyway suggesting that is on his mind, but all those hormones.....

Puttheshelvesup Mon 17-Feb-14 11:41:36

Separate rooms and check with parents!

I decided, at 14, to lose my virginity with my also virgin 14 year old bf. His parents were very naïve and trusting and thought we just held hands and slept at night.

Puttheshelvesup Mon 17-Feb-14 11:42:32

Sorry about 2 posts, chrome is being naughty blush

No way, my two have never suggested mixed sex sleep overs and I wouldn't contemplate one without checking with parents.

DD2's Y8 peer group does organise things without always having parent to parent phone calls, which I find a bit odd, but most of them went to primary together.

DD1s best friend's DM is far too far the other way, despite her being 17 (a year older than DD1) she still veto'd things because her DD will be to tired/has homework, is needed to watch younger siblings etc.

Heaven help her when this DD goes off to uni, meets boys, booze and freedom.

Fairenuff Mon 17-Feb-14 11:44:42

I said I'd need to square it with their parents. He says 'that may be how things worked in your day but it just happen today.'

Regardless of what nonsense he says, tell him that you will still need to check with their parents and ask him to get you contact numbers. You will probably hear nothing more about it from him.

PeriodFeatures Mon 17-Feb-14 11:49:02

separate rooms and close monitoring. If you can be bothered to have a sleepless night on bedroom monitor duty, go for it. I would. It would be a good chance to meet ds friends and hammer home the importance of upholding good decent behavior.I was allowed same room sleepovers with boys and I wish I hadnt been sad I wish I'd been monitored sad

HadABadDay2014 Mon 17-Feb-14 11:50:42

At 14 I regularly stopped at male friends house with females as well.

I didn't loose my virginity till I was 18. It basically sitting around playing computers and talking, messing around.

In fact all of us lost our virginity after starting going to pubs and clubs.

We was all friends, still we are all friends.

Callani Mon 17-Feb-14 12:32:47

You definitely need to check with the girls' parents, even if it's just to make sure they're ok with whatever you arrange.

Groovee Mon 17-Feb-14 12:34:34

He's trying it on and at 14, I would say no to my dd staying at a boy's house overnight! She would be told no. I wouldn't allow male friends to stay over either.

rabbitlady Mon 17-Feb-14 12:39:04

"no."

macdoodle Mon 17-Feb-14 12:43:50

Absolutely not, my DD1 is almost 13 and has lots of male friends, but sleep over no way.
One of her closest friends is male (I am almost certain he is gay though obviously he is not). They were doing homework in her room, door open, me next door. I walked in to ask if he wanted to stay for dinner, to find them draped all over each other shock
Do you NOT remember being a teenage girl?

limitedperiodonly Mon 17-Feb-14 12:55:26

in your day grin

Cheeky little git.

YANBU and he's going to be very disappointed.

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