DC3 is due any time now, due date is this Wednesday and I'm booked for an ELCS on the 28th if I don't go into labour before then, so baby will be here some time in the next two weeks.
A few weeks ago FIL said that if I need anything from the shops or if I need the DCs looking after to just give him a shout. I thanked him for his offer but haven't taken him up on it. He's not in the greatest of health, doesn't drive, and him going to the local shops then to mine to drop the stuff off involves a walk of over a mile there and over a mile back. The same goes for looking after the DCs. When I was working he used to help out with some babysitting and I couldn't relax when he did as I was constantly worried he'd have an accident or a heart attack or his hip would seize up and the DC are only 2yo and 4yo. There were also issues about what is/isn't appropriate for young children. I came home once to find 2yo playing with the lid from a pop bottle and he once gave the 4yo a plastic bag full of neckties to play with, unsupervised, so there were also times I worried for their safety (I know, get a grip......). Plus I'm fine doing it myself. 4yo is at school during the day, 2yo and I potter about doing the housework or visiting or going to playgroup. I do my food shopping online and when I need bread/milk there's a corner shop next to the school. DH does his fair share of the housework and insists I leave the 'big' jobs (stripping beds, etc) for him to do after work. I'm lucky in that I have no SPD or other problems and I've had a fairly smooth pregnancy so I'm quite active still.
The week before last FIL told DH he's confused about why I haven't take him up on the offer and he thinks I'm being stubborn to struggle on. I'm not struggling! DH explained that I'm managing just fine and don't really need any help at the moment but thank you for the offer.
Now FIL has started phoning me. DAILY. Every fucking day since last week and I'm starting to lose my rag over it. He phones to ask if I need anything from the shops and then asks if there's any sign of the baby yet. He told DH he was planning to do this and thinks its funny. Funny!!!! And if I don't answer the phone he then rings DH (who is at work) to find out why I'm not answering and then rings me again or texts to ask if I'm not answering because I'm in labour. I'm not planning to tell anyone when I go into labour except DH who will be going to hospital with me and DM who will be having the DCs - everyone else will find out once the baby is born, I can't stand all the "any news?" stuff and people ringing the labour ward for updates and I'd just rather no one knew.
I had a hospital appointment last week and when I switched my phone back on I had umpteen missed calls from him. I know it's melodramatic but I'm feeling suffocated by it and actually a bit patronised too, l know when I new help and when to ask for it, same for when to take it easy, and I'm an adult, I don't need to "check in" with anybody or let them know where I'm going and what I'm doing if I don't want to. I can't even go on Facebook or Twitter to chat to friends without him ringing me to say "I saw that you mentioned such-and-such (whatever I've posted)....." followed by him asking if its a sign baby is about to appear or another offer of going to the shop for me or to take the DCs for me or him telling me I should be taking it easy (after I mentioned I was taking the DCs out for lunch), so I feel now like I need to guard what I say.
I know I'm being mean when he's just trying to be nice but AIBU to tell DH to tell him to stop ringing me with his daily "baby watch" phone call before I go completely ballistic and tell him myself to fuck off (which would be unreasonable)?
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AIBU?
To have a rant about this and then tell DH he gets it stopped and he gets it stopped now, today.
26 replies
Bearfrills · 17/02/2014 10:55
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