to ask so what if people think that?

(260 Posts)
pinkbluegreenyellow Mon 17-Feb-14 07:59:57

Friend recently had a baby boy. Her DH goes on about how 'strong' he is, how big and tall, how much bigger than other baby boys he is. Fine. He is a big guy himself.

What irks is any suggestion that his son might, god forbid, appear 'girly' to others. For example, his son was gifted a t shirt that had a pink stripe in it. It's being given to charity as 'no son of mine wears pink. Don't want you being mistaken for a girl'. Friend's cousin allows her small ds to dress up in both cowboy and princess outfits and this is met with a sneer too.

Leaving aside the notion that pink is for girls, I want to shout so fucking what if people think he's a girl?? Like being a girl is weak and pathetic? I get that you might want people to assign the correct gender to your child but is there the same fear attached to people thinking your child might be a boy? As in , I can't dress her in blue, I don't want people to think she's a boy?

Uptheanty Mon 17-Feb-14 08:02:58

YANBU

This is moronic behaviour practised by many confused

Ive seen parents grab dolls from little boys in horror......sad

chippers1 Mon 17-Feb-14 08:03:16

I find this very strange indeed !

Its up there with those mums that put the stupid head bands on babies just to make sure you all know its a girl.

Its a baby FFS ! - Enjoy your time with them being a baby - you dont have to make sure everyone knows what gender they are !

FanFuckingTastic Mon 17-Feb-14 08:04:04

My son, aged eight, will still happily dress up and play princesses and fairies with my daughter, and my daughter adores playing Dr Who and steals my son's toy cars all the time.

I am quite happy for them to do this as long as they want to, and I will defend their right to do it too.

HaveYouHeardOfGoogle Mon 17-Feb-14 08:05:17

Why is this annoying you so much? It's their baby, if they want to be sad enough to care that he is only dressed in appropriate boy colours then leave them to it.

kotinka Mon 17-Feb-14 08:07:17

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kotinka Mon 17-Feb-14 08:09:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ledkr Mon 17-Feb-14 08:10:26

He just sounds like a prick, I don't know anyone like that thank goodness.

SpottyDottie Mon 17-Feb-14 08:10:33

Very odd. Tell him that my DS who is a teenager has worn pink, says its just a colour and that he is very sure of who he is. Wearing pink does not 'give you the gay' jeez.

CPtart Mon 17-Feb-14 08:11:36

Agree Chippers. Those headbands, usually adorned with a bow or flower are utterly laughable.

Morgause Mon 17-Feb-14 08:11:36

He's a prick and quite a small one.

Joysmum Mon 17-Feb-14 08:14:13

The guy sounds very insecure but he probably is trying to protect his son and stear him down a path where he is least likely to be ridiculed. Maybe he was a victim himself?

Yes, it's not politically correct, buy yes in the real world effeminate boys and men are targeted by some dreadful people out there.

winterlace Mon 17-Feb-14 08:16:57

I don't want my DD dressing like a boy because she isn't one.

If this baby is a boy (due next month) I won't be dressing him in girls' clothes because he isn't a girl.

There's nothing wrong with being a girl or a boy. There's nothing wrong in taking pride with who and what your child is either. The father in the OP is extreme but I have to admit that when I read tales on here of junior school aged boys wearing pink princess dresses (assuming it isn't am overtly camp comedy thing) I find it odd.

winterlace Mon 17-Feb-14 08:17:59

Oh and my DD has a couple of headbands <shrug> it's nothing to do with being horrified if people mistake her for a boy. I just like them. Personal taste!

chippers1 Mon 17-Feb-14 08:19:10

winterlaceMon 17-Feb-14 08:16:57

Why do you find it odd ?

I think that says a lot more about you than anything really.

winterlace Mon 17-Feb-14 08:23:15

I find it strange and a little embarrassing, yes, in the same way I would if my husband came downstairs wearing a pink party dress that wasn't a part of a fancy dress party.

kotinka Mon 17-Feb-14 08:25:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

winterlace Mon 17-Feb-14 08:30:58

If that's in reference to me putting headbands on DD, she has had two, both worn as part of a 'posh' outfit. One for a wedding and one for a photoshoot.

Believe me, our DD would let you know if she was uncomfortable! smile

Normally she wears leggings and smocks (she is nearly 15 months.)

Islandangel Mon 17-Feb-14 08:31:44

nah... you are massively overthinking this.

my DH was a bit like this, until we got together. He is still a bit funny about colours and what they mean. However he wore a pink tie when we got married.

Now however he is marooned in a sea of pink since we have an all female household [apart from him]

he still wouldnt have a pink bedroom, but i wouldnt have a black bedroom.

i think the problem is .... that you bought the offending tshirt and are offended by the rejection.

If he is a new dad his perceptions of what is and isnt acceptable will grow with his child. you may find the boy becomes a fully flegded tutu, welly and mud wearing chap.

YABU... its thier life, butt out

Seff Mon 17-Feb-14 08:40:32

"Like being a girl is weak and pathetic"

Unfortunately, this is what it often comes down to. Even if not consciously. It's more acceptable for a girl to dress in "boyish" clothes than it is for a boy to to dress in "girly" clothes.

One approach is to laugh and ask him if he thinks his son's penis will fall off if he wears pink.

QueenofKelsingra Mon 17-Feb-14 08:47:26

I buy clothes that suit my children and that I like. DD gets taken for a boy quite often as her hair is still very short (slow growing!!) and she is often in blue but this doesn't bother me, she looks like me as a baby and I certainly don't look like a boy now!! I certainly wont faff about with headbands to make sure people know she's a girl!

I think its much easier to do the gender stereotype thing with only one child, once you have more DC of the 2 genders all the toys go in one pile for everyone. as we speak DS2 is making me a cup of coffee in his play kitchen and DD1 is playing racing cars [shrug] they will be what they will be, all forcing them to conform will do will make them unhappy as the grow up knowing their parents want them to be something that they are not.

LucyLasticBand Mon 17-Feb-14 08:54:04

there is probably a file on me somehwere, when ds was a few days old, i had him in a babygro with roses on it, pink roses, a beautiful babygro i had bought for my sister that she loaned back to me, and photos were taken, i then took ds to doctors, wearing a pink cardigan no less. <<that was the only clean one>>

tell that to your friend.
he is now 19 and has not Come out.

MrsOakenshield Mon 17-Feb-14 08:56:13

I am surprised at the number of blokes I know who are ambivalent, at best, at the idea of their DSs having dolls, or pushing prams, or wearing a princess dress to a party. Intelligent, educated men, not neanderthals.

KissesBreakingWave Mon 17-Feb-14 09:20:06

I had dolls when I was a little boy, and loved dressing them up in various outfits. The trouble was that there were only military uniforms for the only doll I was allowed: Action Man. So sad.

UriGeller Mon 17-Feb-14 09:24:58

If his boy is so "strong" and boyish and unmistakenly so, why would wearing a pink stripe on his tshirt get him called a girl?

Mans got issues.

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