Note: Please bear in mind that whilst this topic does canvass opinions, it is not a fight club. You may disagree with other posters but we do ask you please to stick to our Talk Guidelines and to be civil. We don't allow personal attacks or troll-hunting. Do please report any. Thanks, MNHQ.

AIBU to be loathed and sad to turn down a job offer

(93 Posts)
BitsinTatters Mon 10-Feb-14 08:55:37

I'm just turning down a job offer for a job I really want, with a great firm, team seem lovely... because I can't afford the child care

Feel very deflated and sorry for the poor chaps that offered me the job any way. Feel like I've wasted their time.

Babyroobs Mon 10-Feb-14 10:31:59

I agree with others saying think long term. It is a few short years that childcare costs will be so high.Have you looked into the childcare voucher scheme to save some money? We had 4 dc's close together, and work around each other to minimise childcare costs ( I understand not everyone can do this), ten years on now the kids are older I'm really glad I managed to keep working as it would have been so hard to get back into my career if I had taken years out.

pussycatdoll Mon 10-Feb-14 10:34:22

Really hope you haven't already turned it down

If you have ring them back

Dream jobs don't often come up

Its very shortsighted to turn it down just because of childcare

TheArticFunky Mon 10-Feb-14 10:34:36

It's disappointing. I was in this situation a few years back. I applied for a job which was advertised as being £16k per annum for a 3 day week. It turns out that it was £16k pro rata which was completely ludicrous. The train fare and childcare bill was higher than the wages and as dh's salary was already eaten up by the mortgage and household expenses I couldn't get the figures to add up. In my situation I think I got a lucky escape as they were taking the mickey with that salary.

Pigsmummy Mon 10-Feb-14 10:35:17

YABU not to have looked at childcare costs vs salary before going through the application process.

If you could get childcare vouchers would it help? My and DH use them and it's really helped.

TheArticFunky Mon 10-Feb-14 10:36:39

It isn't shortsighted if taking the job will mean their outgoings are higher than their incomings.

The OP hasn't said what the situation is with her partners income so it's difficult to comment without knowing their full financial situation.

LucyLasticBand Mon 10-Feb-14 10:38:03

i have had to give up jobs that just didnt pay after childcare.

i regret one that didnt pay much but i was shortsighted.
eventually I got another, when my situation was different. i am sure you situaiton will change. all hope is not lost.

JeanSeberg Mon 10-Feb-14 10:41:36

You should definitely take it.

I was in a similar position many years ago - 3 children in full-time childcare at one point - therefore massive childcare costs. However, I'm assuming you have a partner (apologies if not) and childcare is a shared cost so for the sake of maintaining your career and future prospects, you need to look at the long-term picture.

You might not get another chance like this again.

tellmeonasunday Mon 10-Feb-14 10:41:56

Take it. Think of the childcare as a cost to come out of the next 30 years of work, not just these few years.

Chunderella Mon 10-Feb-14 11:05:33

Are you totally certain you can't afford the childcare? Eg have you checked eligibility for vouchers and childcare tax credits? Would you consider cheaper provision, if there is any? Have you and DH looked at compressed hours, working a weekend day instead of a weekday? Could either employer offer any more flexibility? I would want to make very sure I had done all this before deciding my dream job was impossible.

Lonelynessie Mon 10-Feb-14 11:06:03

I have just accepted a really good job, too good to turn down type of job. The childcare will be more than I earn, but it's not forever, I'm lucky that I have a very supportive partner and actually, I want to work. I have been trying to get a job for 4 years now and I know this opportunity won't come round again. The opportunities for our future are now amazing, all because I can have a great career. Childcare fees are not forever.

PerpendicularVince Mon 10-Feb-14 11:14:13

I would take the job. Looking long term, you'll be back in the workforce in a great firm in a job you really want to do, so your prospects are good.

If you break even after childcare it's worth it. Check benefit entitlements, you may find you will get some assistance with it.

Please don't turn the job down until you've looked into it further.

I think I earned about £5 a week when I had 2 DCs in FT childcare
It paid off though, If I had stayed out of work until they were in school, I would not be in the position I am now IYSWIM

Tiredemma Mon 10-Feb-14 11:18:04

My friend 'takes home' about £20 a week after childcare- for a very stressful, demanding job- but she saw the long term benefits.

It isn't necessarily short sighted to turn it down. Op I get what you mean. I'm sorry.

There's always people who suggest sucking it up presumably because they had to and misery loves company. If she says it isn't affordable, maybe support and commiserate. Sometimes the op is right. It just doesn't work.

flowery Mon 10-Feb-14 11:21:17

If it would "consume your whole wage" as opposed to leaving you with a major deficit, then take the job.

Oblomov Mon 10-Feb-14 11:22:37

I agree with everyone. OP please don't be shortsighted.
Is this almost a dream job OP? Your OP made it sound so.

gnushoes Mon 10-Feb-14 11:24:39

nanny or nanny share?

justtoomessy Mon 10-Feb-14 11:25:29

Take the job as I expect your company will do childcare vouchers reducing the bill you think you are going to pay plus in a few years you'll childcare bill drop and your pay should have gone up.

Better to take this job now than leave it a few years when you'll have been out of the workforce even longer.

JeanSeberg Mon 10-Feb-14 11:25:57

There's always people who suggest sucking it up presumably because they had to and misery loves company

I don't get your point or why taking a short-term hit equates to misery loving company.

Dahlen Mon 10-Feb-14 11:27:30

IF you can find any way of making it work - even if it means running your household at a loss for a while - I'd stick it out. It will be worth it when you come out the other side.

I appreciate that if running at a loss means being unable to afford to eat this isn't really an option, but if it means struggling but getting by, try.

Congratulations on being offered the position anyway.

Gladvent Mon 10-Feb-14 11:27:41

Tell them you'd love to accept but not at that salary as your skills and experience are worth more.

ShedWood Mon 10-Feb-14 11:41:07

I took a job a couple of years ago that after childcare meant my take home was practically £0.

Yes, it was difficult, and no not everyone has a partner whose salary can cover mortgage, bills and other expenses, but it was so worth it for me.

Now my kids are in school and the childcare costs have dropped dramatically, and more improtantly I have a great job which I simply wouldn't be qualified to do now if I'd spent another couple of years at home.

Childcare vouchers, swopping favours with friends (I used to help in a friend's bar in the evening in exchange for her watching my kids in the day time) using your holiday separately from your partners to cover school holidays (dull, but do-able) and you'll be so busy the first year will fly by.

Think about whether this is just a job, or a future career as if it's just a job then it needs to cover the bills, but if it's your future career then it's probably worth the sacrifice today to have a potentially decades long career.

BitsinTatters Mon 10-Feb-14 11:47:07

I've emailed and said I have done the figured and I would be worse off to accept the job. He's offered me another 1k on top basic and says he expects I will earn more in time. I've asked what he would expect me to be earning in a year and if he would consider flexible time until September.

Imo they are taking the piss offering 17k for a FT job 9 - 5.30 but it's a sales job in an industry I like and the team are lovely and flexible and local to me.

I so wish I could find some one (like MIL) to help a day a week etc but it's not an option.

I would have all 3 at different settings and x urgently DP would be unable to help regards pick up and drop offs so I'm struggling to see how I can humanly do it all.

JeanSeberg Mon 10-Feb-14 11:51:08

Is it 17K basic with commission/bonus on top?

Why can't your partner help out with pick up and drop offs?

BitsinTatters Mon 10-Feb-14 11:54:34

Because he works long hours and has an hour commute

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now