Things that happened at my son's birthday party

[MauriceMinor]

Typical pre-school party at a little soft-play centre.

Halfway through one child rushes out of the play cage and is sick in a bin. His mother and several other parents sort him out, wipe up, change his clothes etc - then he rushes back in to play as if nothing happened.

His mother drags the bin over to the entrance to the play cage in case he needs it again. Which he does, five minutes later. People are looking a bit wtf at this point and I am pretending I don't see it as I don't want to get wound up. In total the boy is sick three times in the bin - the bin which we are using right next to the food table - and goes back in to play each time.

He looked dreadful, but was cheerful enough so she said it was a shame to spoil his fun. AIBU to think if your child pukes at a party, you take them home? At one point she had half the parents helping her wipe the floor and change his clothes. People treat her very kindly (myself included) because her son has mild autism and she is a single parent managing completely alone. I have extended huge empathy and friendship towards her. But I really think letting him throw up three times, very publicly, at my child's party is more than a bit off.

What do you reckon?

Also - this is weird too I think: at the end of the party, one parent (who I barely know) started cutting down the balloons and handing them out to children. After she had cut down the balloons provided by the soft-play people she started on our own helium balloons which had been sent to DS as a present from his granny for his party. They were in a bunch of 5 by the food table and were obviously our own. DH had to ask her not to but by then children were literally queuing up for their "take-home balloon".

That's weird, no? And grabby?

As I'm on a roll - one more thing: there was an older child there, looked about 8/9, I have no idea who she came with and didn't manage to ask. It was really odd as the equipment was clearly for little ones. I let it go but at the end the people running the place handed out the party bags and she took one! A bag filled with bits of things for toddlers!

AIBU to think all this is most peculiar behaviour? Or have I just not been to enough parties to know any better?

[OddFodd]

All those things are weird. It's not just you!

[Adeleh]

YANBU
Vomiting was out of line, tho I feel for any single mother with autistic child. I can see her position, but child should have been taken home.
Balloon parents were totally out of line. I'd have been furious.
Random child situation v odd. Was she a sibling someone had sneaked in? Hope your son had a nice time anyway.

[MauriceMinor]

Yes DH and I think we have worked who she came in with but I didn't know these parents had an older child so can only assume a relative or someone they were minding. Wish I'd checked but the time goes so quickly and I was kind of distracted by the vomiting business.

Apart from the sight of someone puking being kind of gross for everyone, I'm worried he has spread some sort of norovirus round the place. I guess we'll find out...

DH is even more annoyed than me about the balloons. What can you do though? I resume the other parents thought I'd allowed it. They are generally a nice crowd.

DS did have a fab time and I don't think any of these things clouded it for anyone, was generally considered to be a great party so that's ok.

[Thumbwitch]

Your first thing: the child may not have actually been ill. He may have just got hyperexcited, which caused a massive adrenaline rush, which makes him vomit. It happens to some people. I vomit when I get hugely nervous, from the adrenaline (I don't ever get that excited, sadly!)

The second - bloody cheek of the woman!! and how dare she steal the birthday boy's balloons, that's outrageous.

The third - sadly not that unusual in this day and age. I had a party for my DS1's 6th birthday and because it was a pool party, specified no children older than 7, because of the change in dynamics with older children and I didn't want that in the pool. And yet still some people brought older siblings! All girls, luckily, and still under 10 so not too drastic but! When I was handing out party bags, I apologised to the girls themselves but said that I wasn't expecting them and didn't have a bag for them. They were ok with it, but I reckon if I hadn't been standing there, they'd have taken one too.

[Funnyfoot]

All of the above is why I stopped having parties for DC's after doing it only once!
YANBU.

[NoodleOodle]

I think the balloon person is a complete weirdo, I mean - who thinks it's ok to help themselves to balloons that are tied up, and then hand the, out, and even go for helium balloons, which are clearly paid for and intended for one person? Totally outrageous!

[MauriceMinor]

Great. The mother of the sick boy has just emailed to say he's been throwing up all night. Clearly a virus. I'll be so embarrassed if any of the other children go down with this. Esp DS - who he kept running over to cuddle after each episode!

[Pidgy]

Gross! Poor you OP but don't feel bad if people come down with it. Anyone could have told her to go home.
Very weird of her if you ask me. I would have been straight off with my DS.

[Thumbwitch]

Oh no! In which case, she was totally unreasonable to have kept him at the party as well. Perhaps she was just so grateful anyone had included her DS that she didn't want to deprive him, or he might have not wanted to leave and forcing him might have caused a scene that she didn't want to have to deal with.

Bit shit for everyone else though! :(

[Pregnantberry]

You move in strange circles, Maurice.

The balloon one sounds the worst... I would have given a "oh, sorry, these balloons were a present from his Grandma, so..." while silently crossing her off my list of mum-allies.

[YoureBeingASillyBilly]

Jesus! I would have my dcs home straight away if they vomitted! How inconsiderate and actually selfish i think. Not fair on all those other dcs and their parents to take the risk that it might not be contagious!

[CouthyMow]

Blimey, they ARE all weird! Autism or not, a puking child gets taken home. Helium balloons are OBVIOUSLY for the Birthday child, parent was grabby. Older sibling, shouldn't happen but it often does, I've learnt to police that after years of parties, by standing by the party entrance and apologising for not being able to take siblings. I also make this very CLEAR AND PLAIN in big letters on the invitations...

I've never had a party with three odd things like this, though I HAVE hosted or helped at parties where one of the three have happened.

Best one was helping at a friend's DS's party, for a 4yo, so lots were still 3yo. Party in her house. One set of parents dropped and ran, leaving no contact details (for a 3yo!). Their DD spent the entire party with a fever and vomiting, with us having no way of contacting the parents. We kept her in an upstairs room, lying on the bed, as she was too ill to join in. Parents came back at the end of the party and said "She threw up three times this morning, but we didn't want her to miss out on the party".

Almost every child and adult at that party came down with that bug!

[coldwater1]

I would have asked the mother to take her sick child home, how utterly selfish of her! People like her make me angry.

[Chottie]

I would have asked the mother to take her sick child home too. She was uncaring of her own child and very thoughtless and inconsiderate of everyone else's children.

The balloon woman = very odd
The older child = a cheek she was not invited to the party, her parents should not have put her in this position.

[SadTwin]

The staff at the play centre should have told her to take her sick child home... I can't believe that parents would hang around with a sick child or send them to a party when they're ill

Balloon person, very grabby.

Siblings... My DH is a police officer and occasionally I have to bring a sibling if one of my DC are invited to a party. HOWEVER, I always ask if it is okay and offer to pay for entry and food. I would never just turn up with an extra child.

Hope you don't get the lurgie :-(

[SomewhatSilly]

Wow. You're all going to get that, and probably most of the rest of the day's customers. I would be livid.

[plentyofsoap]

Awful about the sick child I would be angry with that.
Beat this, 6 univited siblings at last years party. 6. Well 7 but they did ask.
Very rude woman with the balloons.

[JupiterGentlefly]

YANBU in the slightest. Some peoples attitude towards vomiting gives me the rage. My sister in law had us drive all the way to Swindon and then informed us my niece had been puking all night. 'She would have been disappointed not to see the (my) boys'
Well yes evil sister in law (she is evil) I was very disappointed to have two sick children following our visit.

[Missymoomum]

YANBU, I think after the second episode of vomiting i'd have had a quiet word with the mum and suggested he go home. Re. the balloons i'd have been fuming, what a cheeky cow!! We had DS's 7th birthday party recently which was a joint party with another boy in a different class to his. One of the boys who came that i didn't know, was brought to the party by his parents and little sister (about 4 yrs old). A short while after his parents left, we discovered his sister had also been left at the party. We live in Asia and this poor little girl hardly spoke a word of English and of course, her brother wasn't in the slightest bit interested in her being there, he was too busy having fun with the boys! We got here involved in he party and i also have a 5 yr old DD and her friend came so they were some girls there and she seemed to quite enjoy herself but I was so , i can't imagine ever doing that. Oh and we had spare party bags so we made sure she got one at the end .

[chandlery]

Yes its all weird but what did you do while all this actually unfolded before you?

The other parents were possibly waiting for you to say something about the poorly child.

[Timetoask]

Crazy woman not taking her sick child away after the first vomit! Yuk.
Not on at all to be handing out the balloons, although I think probably that lady thought she was helping you or something.

Luckily I haven't had this sort of thing happen but at my son's last birthday I did have a boy turn ups with his 3 siblings PLUS a little friend that was visiting them! I wanst even informed they were coming. Luckily I had a could of kids that didn't turn up so I managed to produce food for them.

[AuditAngel]

I have had the sibling thing at a party at home. The mother arrived in a cab with 3 children, as we were at home I was happy for the extras to stay, but when one asked at the end for "her" party bag I pointed out she didn't have one as she hadn't been invited to the party!

[pumpkinsweetie]

yanbu, it's people like this child's mother that allow these bugs to spread even more than they already have!

This type of sick bug is really rotten to catch and if this happened to me I would bw be taking my child straight home so to avoid others catching it as I know how horrible it is to have it.

The woman sounds very strange with no care in the world for hygiene whatsoever!

[BumPotato]

Next year ask your DC if they want a party or a ... insert name of expensive toy/gadget on their wish list that costs around the same price as a party

Another parent told me they offered their son a party or an iPad due to the stress and cost of last year's party. Kid took the iPad. I imagine your invitees won't be changing for the foreseeable?

[littledrummergirl]

Ive taken siblings to parties at soft play, however I paid for entry and made it completely clear to the siblings that they were not at the party and to leave the child that is to play with their friends in peace. I bought food for them when the party ate(I explained to staff who cooked our chips with the party order) and apologised to the birthday parents.
Balloon lady would have made me cross.
Puking in a bin, not really acceptable. I have a very sen sibling and totally frown on it being used as an excuse for anti-social behaviour, if somethings not acceptable its not acceptable. End of.