...not to apologise for this?

(33 Posts)
lonelyredrobin Sun 09-Feb-14 18:38:07

[I posted this post earlier today on the Relationships board but wanted to get a few more views and I know there is a bit more traffic on here - hope that's okay - sorry to anyone who has seen it twice!]

So, I have a fairly long standing friend & professional acquaintance (a few years). We see eachother every few months and in touch by email etc every week or two.

Last week there was a drinks party that we were both at. We hadn't seen eachother for a few months. My friend had emailed me in the day to ask if I was going and I confirmed I would, he responded "see you later". Completely normal.

Anyway, at the event, we saw eachother through the crowd a few times. I fully expected him to come over and speak to me when he was ready (he's kind of a centre of attention sort of person who everyone wants to speak to and so it seemed appropriate to wait for him). I had a nice time chatting to other people in the meantime.

After about an hour, I realised he hadn't come over so I thought I'd go and find him and say hi, as I was planning on leaving the event early, so wanted to say hi before I left. Anyway, he had gone, without saying hello (or goodbye!). I was really quite surprised and a bit annoyed.

Well, the annoyance built and I'm afraid the next day I fired off a stroppy email along the lines of "Nice of you to say hello last night!". He replied straight away saying "Well same goes for you!". It was a curt email exchange, no other chat, no sign offs, just that. I didn't reply because I thought his email was rude and a bit disingenuous really - he actually left without saying goodbye - if I was going to leave first and hadn't had a chance to speak to him I def would have gone to say "bye, sorry didn't get to speak etc".

And it's been left like that. Which feels a bit awkward. Also starting to doubt myself. At the end of the day it's his prerogative who he speaks to isn't it? So maybe I should have had no expectations / no right to be offended.

Now I'm wondering if I should apologise, but my gut instinct tells me that's wrong. Do you think I should?

meganorks Sun 09-Feb-14 20:39:38

I don't know that he's not interested. Normal friends just go up to each other and say hi. People who fancy each other pussy foot around and over analyse things. Glimpsing at each other across the room but going over.

Just apologise and go out properly. Maybe 'sorry if I sounded a bit short. I looked for you before I went but you had already left. Was just a bit surprised you didn't say hi before you went. But no worries. Do you want to catch up this week instead?'

lonelyredrobin Sun 09-Feb-14 21:10:59

Thanks for all the advice. Sounds like it's time to eat some humble pie. Crikey. Let that be a lesson to me not to fire off an email when I'm cross!

Mia4 Sun 09-Feb-14 21:22:39

Let us know how it goes OP! Good luck.

tiredoldmum Sun 09-Feb-14 21:54:39

Here is a perfect example of someone who thinks everyone else is rude but them.


Seriously, you got bent over nothing and fired off a crazy email like that?

You were rude. You need to apologise. You need to get a grip on life and get a life if you are so easily offended by nothing.

lonelyredrobin Sun 09-Feb-14 22:47:49

I have sent an apology.

Thanks for the kind advice everyone.

puntasticusername Sun 09-Feb-14 23:01:20

<constructs wildly salacious and inappropriate innuendo based on "eating humble pie">

G'luck, OP smile

Topaz25 Mon 10-Feb-14 01:45:13

This just shows that when you play games, you lose. Rather than playing hard to get, invite him for a drink to say sorry!

UptheChimney Mon 10-Feb-14 07:13:59

Good for you, OP. Now just let it go ...

TBH, if I'd received that 1st email from you, I'd not have answered at all. I'd just have ignored it & let it go.

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