To cancel the rest of dds weekend?

(22 Posts)
theborg Sat 08-Feb-14 12:20:08

So today I have taken dd to her activity at local museum (she is a junior volunteer and loves it), takes an hour by bus, now have to wait three hours for her (currently doing) pick her up drop her at a birthday party, pick her up go buy a present for another party then in the morning drop her off for a sleepover.

I don't drive so all weekend is going to be spent on buses and walking.

She has so far snapped at me in a "goddddd" stamp feet preteen way three times and been rude. She was really snotty In front of her activity group answering me like dirt (told her off and only stayed because she loses her place if you miss twice due to long waiting list)

Aibu to take her home after activity and tell her I am not traipsing round all weekend for a snotty little madam being disrespectful.

Why can you not deal with it by asking her for better behaviour? It sounds like you're being petty and mean rather than excellent parenting, which while I get why will just cause further arguements.

If rather stop tv or something.

YouTheCat Sat 08-Feb-14 12:23:17

Have you given her a warning that that is what will happen if her behaviour continues?

Be prepared for the little madam to have forgotten why she's in a huff and come out all happy grin

olbasoil Sat 08-Feb-14 12:27:47

Well, yes I would and have done. I will not put up with rudeness from my lot especially if I am doing something that they want/need me to do.

frugalfuzzpig Sat 08-Feb-14 12:28:09

I think you need to give a warning for that kind of stuff really. As Laurie says she may well come out all happy and lovely but if she doesn't then a simple "one more word like that young lady and you're grounded til Monday" type thing would suffice, I think.

As an aside, what kind of stuff does she do at this junior volunteer thing? Sounds amazing!

theborg Sat 08-Feb-14 12:37:05

Minnie have already told her I will not accept her rudeness and behaviour, she has had consequences, she does not care one jot if I remove tv or toys or computer.

She does have den but HF and perfectly aware of her behaviour.

I told her if she continued to treat me with no respect and behaving horribly i would have to consider whether i felt like traipsing around and doing nice things for her all weekend. (Currently going through tests for MS and feeling very rough)

She is usually v v well behaved but hormones creeping in at moment!

theborg Sat 08-Feb-14 12:43:05

Sen not den!

Frugal younger group work with curators of museum learning about exhibits and how museum works, they have subject talks from museum curator/people or uni teachers, go behind scenes, help plan activities for members of the public on family days and help on those days too. They get free pizza for lunch grin

Older group make videos and promotional stuff round museum , help with exhibits, go on trips and work with curators and have uni staff in to do talks and can go on apprenticeships, its free and think a few places have them.

theborg Sat 08-Feb-14 12:46:13

They also run archaelogy group which covers a different subject each week, go on trips and digs, each time they have a lecturer from uni who brings in stuff and they do a craft activity. Think that ones �2.50.

Loveleopardprint Sat 08-Feb-14 12:51:43

I think I would take her to the party otherwise you are going to upset another parent and child, especially if they have spent money on an activity or good for her.
I would tell her though that any more rudeness today leads to the sleepover being cancelled.

Jbck Sat 08-Feb-14 12:52:02

If she understands consequences and you have already warned her to behave nicer to you thenI would. There gets to a point where you are being taken for a mug.

Of course, you then have to cope with a sulky pre-teen all weekend without respite.

I'd give her a final warning and make sure you stick to your guns.

theborg Sat 08-Feb-14 12:58:17

Its a whole class party in a church hall love and child isn't a close friend so not sure they would be bothered.

But yes jbck as a single parent who gets no break with an sen child with my own medical issues i think not getting a break would be more punishment to me than her grin

Loveleopardprint Sat 08-Feb-14 13:03:14

Aah ok well that is an ok party to miss. I do empathise. I have two dds, one 14 and one 11 and my DH works away all week. Most of the time they are great but every now and again we have to come down hard as they push the boundaries. Good luck with her!!! Hormones are a nightmare.

Golightly133 Sat 08-Feb-14 13:34:12

I don't think you will get anywhere stopping her going to a party/sleepover, IMO that will just cause resentment. If you are feeling under the weather are you maybe taking it out on her? Is it that you don't want to traipse and are looking for an excuse not to bother??

Anydrinkwilldo Sat 08-Feb-14 14:03:34

I would take away one activity at a time iykwim, if she has that much of an attitude she'll lose everything

brokenhearted55a Sat 08-Feb-14 14:07:19

"Speak to me like that again and I will take you straight home after this."

She does it again, she goes home.

theborg Sat 08-Feb-14 14:34:04

Honestly no golightly, have already do biggest part, 13 mile bus, two mile walk x 2.

Its in my interest to go because its a very rare break for me too.

I just don't appreciate going out of my way to do nice things for her and her talking to me like I am poo on her shoe.

She's usually good in fairness but hormones and attitude creeping in.

As it is she's come out of museum bright as a button, stuffed with pizza and happy.

JuliaScurr Sat 08-Feb-14 14:42:13

I'd go for the Long Talk option
your other choices don't give her a warning or chance to improve

AChickenCalledKorma Sat 08-Feb-14 14:45:18

If she's now happy and calm, it might be an excellent time to have a calm but very serious conversation with her about her behaviour earlier and what the consequences will be next time she takes you for granted.

Jinty64 Sat 08-Feb-14 14:50:49

I agree with Julia. My teenagers are generally well behaved but do sometimes forget themselves. They both have sn's and I find sitting them down and reminding them of how much I do for them and how little I ask in return usually does the trick. Let her know you are a team and have to support each other.

Golightly133 Sat 08-Feb-14 21:51:35

Glad she was better, sometimes I think they get tired too

Golightly133 Sat 08-Feb-14 21:51:53

Enjoy your break

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