to cry over hotel bridal policy?

(410 Posts)
PrebendsBridge Thu 06-Feb-14 16:43:44

Getting married in 4 weeks v cheaply. Registry office, two guests as witnesses, no flowers, haïr dressers, cars or any of that stuff. £200 cream L K Bennett dress.

The only 'treat element' of the day was booking a night at a 5 star hotel, with dinner for our two guests.

That's all we can afford, and I didn't want to have to wait years saving to get married.

Only problem now is that I can't wear my dress to the hotel. They have a bridal policy of only one bride (their wedding package) at the hotel. So despite my not having anything ostensibly bridal, as my sheath dress is cream I can't wear it incase I offend a bride who can afford a massive wedding package.

AIBU to think this sucks??

squoosh Mon 10-Feb-14 14:46:59

I will be wearing would have worn an 80's-tastic Princess Diana type dress and insist the hotel staff fluff it up every few minutes!

sillymillyb Mon 10-Feb-14 14:34:55

Sqoosh that made me proper giggle, would you have worn cream too?! grin

squoosh Mon 10-Feb-14 14:00:21

HA! That should say 'enjoy YOUR day'. I'm not planning on crashing it. grin

squoosh Mon 10-Feb-14 13:59:44

What an entertaining thread.

What a gorgeous dress.

What a moronic hotel policy.

What a chic wedding you're planning.

Enjoy our day!

Kelpie1975 Mon 10-Feb-14 13:46:12

YANBU. Wear the dress - you'll be performing a public service.

The hotel shouldn't be pandering to a stuck-up bridezilla who thinks she can pay for the right to pretend she's the only bride in the whole wide world.

The more people who act to puncture the Princess Amazing, it's MY day that's all about ME myths, that fuel the staggering sense of entitlement some brides have, the better weddings will become for everybody.

FuckingWankwings Mon 10-Feb-14 11:00:21

Nice one, OP. Have a wonderful time!

LaGuardia, your post is outrageous. How dare you?

ChippingInWadesIn Sat 08-Feb-14 21:10:45

Really - you should explain to your Aunt that DS would settle much better if he had 2 nights there smile

wink

I hope you have a wonderful wonderful time, a great wedding and a fabulous marriage x

RhondaJean Sat 08-Feb-14 20:58:07

Gosh what a saga and yet another reason for me to loathe the wedding industry and Thr entitlement that's built up around it.

Op you have a fabulous day, what you are doing sounds wonderful.

Gruntfuttock Sat 08-Feb-14 20:53:53

OP, I couldn't agree with you more about what really matters. I had a register office wedding followed by lunch at a lovely country restaurant with our two witnesses. My husband and I couldn't have been happier with that. It was just lovely. Over 23 years later we're still very happy together indeed.

BOFtastic Sat 08-Feb-14 20:46:27

You bloody enjoy it then, and be sure to come back and tell us all about it!

PrebendsBridge Sat 08-Feb-14 20:18:09

Penelope - that's a lovely story and exactly the type of wedding I'm trying to recreate.

I'd far rather show the grandchildren snaps of me, sitting in our messy, in-need-of-a-good-clean estate car, munching on service station sandwiches driving up for our ceremony - than all the lovely horse and carriage/wedding car/bouquet professional shots.

That's not to say we're not treating ourselves to a lovely day - gorgeous dress (approved my MNers wink), champagne cocktails, dinner and the biggest treat of all: a lie-in after a night at a fancy hotel. First night away from DS (six months). That will be a bit of luxury itself grin

So no, not really jealous of anyone who can afford a massive ceremony, though definitely not knocking it off anyone who chooses it. Just felt a bit disappointed that the hotel didn't really want us staying there after our wedding if we weren't paying megabucks for a wedding package. They made me feel like I was doing something wrong wanting to roll up at their hotel, all happy after getting married and celebrate by drinking in their bar, having a nice dinner, and relaxing in the spa/hotel. I definitely wasn't going to change and slink in as though I had something to be ashamed of.

Anyway. Luckily we have found somewhere else, who don't have a problem with me arriving in my dress. So it's all sorted now. Just have to worry about getting ready in the morning, with a 6 month old DS to sort out and drop at my auntie's, a four hour drive, and then a really quick change before a 3pm wedding. Going to be a busy day!!!grin

SapphireMoon Sat 08-Feb-14 20:01:58

Te he Rooners, that is funny!!

Rooners Sat 08-Feb-14 19:52:37

Next time I have a baby, I'm going to insist that no one else has one in the same maternity unit on the same day.

If anyone turns up looking a bit too maternal, like in a nightie, they can get to fuck smile

500internalerror Sat 08-Feb-14 19:51:49

Penelope, that is such a lovely story ; it's really touched me.

I'm glad you've got somewhere else booked. I can kind of understand their policy of not having two brides in the same place, BUT - shouldn't that mean you wouldn't be able to book, regardless of what colour dress you're wearing? Changing your dress to (for example) a blue one wouldn't mean you weren't still celelbrating your wedding, it's just making it easier for the 'official' bride not to notice. It's actually pretty conniving of them. If they're not happy to have a second bride there, then they should be not happy whatever she happens to be wearing, not just trying to make sure she's hidden.

AnAdventureInCakeAndWine Sat 08-Feb-14 19:31:59

Mmolly, she said upthread that her fiance mentioned when booking the room that they would be newlyweds -- then the hotel brought up the policy and demanded veto power over the dress.

persimmon Sat 08-Feb-14 19:27:37

It's a smart, elegant sheath dress not a mereingue! They're being idiots.
I'd either go elsewhere or wear a coloured pashmina/wrap instead of the jacket.

Mmolly2013 Sat 08-Feb-14 19:24:36

Why did you even send them a picture or enquiry about this policy. Sometimes its better to just keep quiet about things.

Why shoot yourself in the foot, you brought it on yourself.

LEMmingaround Sat 08-Feb-14 19:03:55

Also, the other bride couldnt have been THAT rich - otherwise she would have rented the whole venue to herself - if thats what she wanted. The irony being is this - i bet the other bride couldn#t have given a monkeys fig if someone else pitched up in a wedding type dress. Its not like the OP was going to crash their disco and steal the first dance FFS.

LEMmingaround Sat 08-Feb-14 19:02:23

LaGaurdia I couldn't think of anything worse than an ostentatious ott wedding, fuck that - the bride at the posh hotel wiht the lavish wedding is going to be stressed to fuck on the day with all those arrangements and money spent, she will be like bridezilla, so maybe its understandable that the hotel don't want her to see the OP, swish in, stress free - having made a far more sensible choice, celebrating wiht the people she truly wants to be with , rather than members of the family who they haven't seen for years, just to make the numbers look good!

OP YADNBU and i am so glad you managed to find a new venue and stick your fingers up to the old place.

PenelopePipPop Sat 08-Feb-14 19:00:04

In 1943 my Great-Aunt and Great-Uncle married in a ceremony with just my Grandfather and Grandmother (her sister) as witnesses. The photos of their day make my cry. They all look so proud and happy. The bride and her sister wore navy-blue dresses that would be practical afterwards and carried little bunches of lily-of-the-valley. The groom wore his naval uniform. There wasn't a wedding breakfast because he was off for six months in a submarine the next day (he didn't tell his wife he was a submariner until after the war and he left letters on land for his friends to send her because he knew how dangerous it was and how scared she would be).

That marriage lasted nearly fifty happy years, they raised two beautiful children together, one of whom tragically predeceased them. I can remember them both from early childhood. They were a model of kindness and affection.

That was the definition of a fabulous day LaGuardia.

Hope your day is just as fabulous PrebendsBottom.

ProfondoRosso Sat 08-Feb-14 18:45:33

I sure as hell never coveted a big, luxurious naff and pointless wedding. The OP's arrangements sound much nicer.

KayleeFrye Sat 08-Feb-14 18:43:13

LaGuardia your post assumes that everyone would really secretly want a huge expensive wedding and would envy the (currently non-existent) bride having the more expensive option. If the OP is happy with her choices in not throwing an extravagant party, there is no reason she should feel negative seeing someone else making a different choice nearby. the whole ridiculous thing about this situation is that there ISN'T any such other bride, anyway. But the OP has booked elsewhere in any case, and jolly good thing too. Rockcliffe Hall doesn't deserve their custom. Such terrible customer service, making existing customers feel unwelcome and out-of-place just in case a richer customer comes along later, it's disgusting.

sunshinemmum Sat 08-Feb-14 17:54:46

LaGuardia throwing money at something doesn't make it fabulous, it has far more to do with the union, sentiment and commitment of two people, than the frills in my view. That is if the 2nd bride actually does materialise. The only shabby thing here is the way the OP has been treated.

Caitlin17 Sat 08-Feb-14 17:50:05

LaGuardia what a rude and ridiculous post.

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