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AIBU?

to think my dd eats a lot and worry about her weight?

161 replies

PinkHardHat · 05/02/2014 22:57

My exH is morbidly obese. I had weight issues in my teens but have been a size 8-10 for the past nine years or so. Dd is 6, around 105cm tall and almost 4 stone. She looks fine from behind but has always had a big tummy that protrudes out of clothes. She does loads of exercise but her tummy seems to be growing bigger. We eat healthily but have McDonalds once per month, which we had at the weekend. She was sharing various things with her cousins and declared afterwards that she'd eaten ten chicken nuggets as well as a box of fries. That's more than I could eat! She's told me before that her dad has given her Pringles and she ate the entire tube Confused

Today she had:

Two slices of brown toast with choc spread and banana and a yoghurt
Milk and Apple at snack time
Lunch consisting of three crackers, cheese, ham, peppers, cucumber, carrots, strawberries, melon, grapes, small cake
After school snacks of pineapple, cherries, popcorn and a bowl of cereal
Dinner of two Yorkshire puddings, broccoli, peas, cauliflower, five roast potatoes and four chipolata sausages
Pudding of jam sponge
An hour later was asking for yoghurt and fruit

If I reduce portion sizes she asks for more. She isn't eating due to boredom as she is always busy but she eats loads more than me and weighs almost half what I do. Aibu to worry about her eating and weight at this stage?

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ILoveDHIDo · 05/02/2014 23:05

YANBU. Does she do any form of exercise? Like trampolining etc or Swimming? The food she eats looks balanced so maybe you should look at portion sizes.

She's 6 so she doesn't really need to eat as much as she does.

Also, no disrespect at all but are you vocal with your concerns? Children do tend to notice a lot so it wouldn't be nice if she knew how you felt about her body. You obviously care about her health so that's good. Maybe cut out some of the cakes, McDonald's etc and give it as an occasional treat. Also, what do you eat.. maybe she's just copying your eating habits?

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lookingfoxy · 05/02/2014 23:11

Could you up her protein intake, lots of fruit and veg are great but not very filling for long same as the carbs tbh yorksires and roast potatoes could be replaced by boiled new potatoes or a baked potato.

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Amandine29 · 05/02/2014 23:12

I have to say I would be worried by this. I would struggle to eat what you've described. Do you think she has just got into the habit of eating a lot? Have you spoken to her father? If it's true the whole tube of Pringles thing is crazy.

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PinkHardHat · 05/02/2014 23:12

No I eat far less than her. She walks three miles per day, does gymnastics, football, dance, swimming and trampolining and is constantly on the move. I'm not vocal about my concerns at all but she looks offended when I say I can't pick her up and throw her about like her toddler sister. Her dad constantly calls himself fat but has never said anything derogatory to dd afaic.

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SeaSickSal · 05/02/2014 23:16

Does she drink a lot of liquid too? I saw an article the other day which said a large appetite can be a sign of diabetes in children. Especially with excessive thirst. Might be worth getting a GP to check her out.

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PinkHardHat · 05/02/2014 23:16

I agree the Pringles thing is worrying. I used to binge eat and that's the kind of thing I'd have done. If we go to the cinema and have popcorn to share she can't handle it and is shovelling it in in case someone else eats it first. Her dad thinks I make her eat too healthily and gives her loads of treats and no fruit/veg. He seems to treat eating like an achievement.

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PinkHardHat · 05/02/2014 23:17

No she doesn't drink much, and only drinks water and then milk at school.

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Huitre · 05/02/2014 23:19

Five roast potatoes?! I couldn't eat that, nor would I want to. She weighs FOUR STONE. That is a lot, isn't it, for such a small child? My 7.5 yr old weighs a lot less than 3 stone (she is considered underweight, but weighs a bit more than me at the same age).

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FredFredGeorge · 05/02/2014 23:20

A large active 6 year old possibly does need as many calories as a sedentary small adult woman, so she may well be hungry. As is so common with diets though, it's lacking in protein, and the protein demands of a child are always more than an adult.

Thinking ultra simplisticly:
Carbs are for energy.
Protein is for building things.

As well as the energy to run around, children need to grow. Fruit only gives the energy stuff...

How is her actual tummy strength - are her muscles still weak there?

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lookingfoxy · 05/02/2014 23:22

Maybe just not filled up enough then, I would try more protein and see if it helps.
It sounds like her dads eating habits may be affecting her relationship with food, is there any chance of him being reasonable about not making food such a reward?

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SaucyJack · 05/02/2014 23:27

It doesn't sound like that much food to me. Maybe if you gave her more "solid" food instead of quite so much fruit and veg she might be fuller for longer.

Also, are you sure you have her height and weight accurately? My DD2 was 7 in Dec and is noticeably one of the shortest in her class at 119cm.

If they are correct tho, then that is a stonking BMI for a six year old. Sorry.

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CouthyMow · 05/02/2014 23:28

Very light on protein. My underweight 3yo (just turned 3yo, 23lb2oz) eats more protein in a day than that.

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Amandine29 · 05/02/2014 23:34

Is her dad fat? It seems like she is picking up on his behaviour.

What would she do if you served her a 'normal' portion of food? 2 Yorkshire puddings, 5 roast potatoes and 4 chipolatas is not normal (can I just ask why you cooked that amount of food in the first place?), as well as everything else she is eating. I know you said she asks for more but what if there isn't any more to give her?

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PinkHardHat · 05/02/2014 23:35

She asks for the fruit and veg. She doesn't like many protein rich foods - doesn't like nuts, not overly keen on meat or cheese, doesn't like eggs etc. Had height wrong sorry, she's about 111cm.

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pixiepotter · 05/02/2014 23:35

I think she must be snacking from somewhere.If she really does the amount of exercise you say every day then I can't believe she would be so overweight

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PinkHardHat · 05/02/2014 23:37

Yes her dad is obese. I cook more as dh often has seconds. If I gave her, for instance, one Yorkshire pudding, 3 potatoes and 2 sausages plus the veg she'd be asking for yoghurt, fruit, toast, porridge etc within half hour of finishing it

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PinkHardHat · 05/02/2014 23:38

She's 6, pixie, she can't get food from anywhere else Hmm

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lookingfoxy · 05/02/2014 23:41

What about chicken, mince in bolognase, lasanga, tuna if its all thats on offer and shes hungry.....
Kids are funny about eggs at that age ime.
Just dont make a massive deal out of it, your doing great with all the fruit and veg.

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ikeaismylocal · 05/02/2014 23:44

From the food you listed I would probably offer less sugary food. Chocolate spread toastx2, a small cake and jam sponge pudding is lots of treats, especially if she is getting that every day.

Could you limit sweet treats to once or twice a week?

The food sounds really yummy and moorish, could you give her less tempting food?

I read some research that said people are much more likely to over eat when given an option of foods, that feeling of wanting to try it all can be hard to ignore. Maybe if you offered one pot dishes like risotto and stew she'd be less tempted to take so much.

Is her bmi an issue? If so could you encourage your ex to attend an appointment with a nurse or Dr so he wakes up to the issue?

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BrokenToeOuch · 05/02/2014 23:44

That does sound like a lot to me, however a lot of what she is eating is what I would consider 'healthy'. But fruit, while essentially has lots of good vitamins and nutrition, is also very sugary (albeit natural) full of water, therefore not too filling. Her lunch for example, doesn't seem very 'filling' even though it looks substantial.
There seem to be a lot of other factors involved in your concerns though, including her father and his attitude to food.
It might be worth talking to her GP (maybe not in her presence though, so as not to pass on any insecurities to her iyswim) about a more positive approach to her diet, and a way to up the content of what she's eating gradually, but lesser the emptiness?
Sorry, that doesn't make a lot of sense probably, but basically it's good that you want to make positive changes for her benefit at a young age :)

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PinkHardHat · 05/02/2014 23:45

She doesn't like chicken (other than nuggets which are once per month) or fish. She likes Bolognese and lasagna but it still doesn't seem to fill her up. She could eat an adult portion of bolognese and still find room afterwards for 2/3 of a garlic bread baguette and pudding

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SaucyJack · 05/02/2014 23:47

2 Yorkshire puddings, 5 roast potatoes and 4 chipolatas is not normal

Says who? Both of my primary school aged DDs would eat that for a Sunday dinner and they're both on the smaller side.

They wouldn't overeat at the next meal tho, and I think the problem your DD has is possibly not knowing when she's full if she's always eating like that.

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PinkHardHat · 05/02/2014 23:48

Ikea compared to her friends she is deprived of treats. Her friends have sugary cereal for breakfast, chocolate in lunchbox, drink juice and fizzy drinks, have sweets after school and chocolate after dinner. Pudding isn't usually as stodgy as jam sponge, it's usually more like a chocolate moose or fruit sorbet.

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PinkHardHat · 05/02/2014 23:48

Mousse!

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Amandine29 · 05/02/2014 23:49

In that case I would take her to the gp.

It's very easy to fall into the habit of eating when not hungry and once you're at that stage it's hard to recognise true hunger.

Regarding the extra helpings, I would serve dinner straight onto plates. If you only offered her plain toast (or some other boring food) if she's hungry after dinner do you think she would eat any less?

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