to want SAHMs to divulge how much money they have to spend?

(402 Posts)
YesAnastasia Wed 05-Feb-14 11:09:46

How much money do non earning SAHM get to actually spend? On clothes, hair/beauty or whatever they want.

I want to know if I'm being unreasonable to want more or if I am spoilt and should suck it up because things are tight.

I have £134.80 a month to myself (yes that's probably a familiar to a lot of you) except when you're a parent, not much is ever just for you anymore is it?

That's ok isn't it? Or is it? It doesn't feel like it, especially when there are birthdays etc. Anyway, what do you get?

FuckyNell Wed 05-Feb-14 11:22:17

I get £1000 cash from the bank every month. £700 I keep for 'housekeeping' oh how I love that word! And dh gets £300.

We have a joint account and can both spend freely. Large purchases are made jointly. Birthday presents come out of the joint pot as does haircuts, clothes, petrol, food etc. My contribution to the household is as valuable as my DHs - just because I'm not earning a regular monthly salary does not mean I can't have access to the family money. Child benefit is paid into the joint pot and used for the children.

When I first became a SAHM money was very tight and our spending habits changed. Things have improved financially since but DH and I still think twice before buying something that we don't class as a necessity.

I do have a separate account where my pay (less than £1k per year) is paid. This is "luxuries" money - spending money on holiday, yarn for my knitting/crochet, that sort of thing. I have started buying DH's presents from this money - not because I have to, but because I like to know that I'm spending money I earned.

Grumpykins Wed 05-Feb-14 11:23:12

Alibaba £350 + a month? Wow!

Lonecatwithkitten Wed 05-Feb-14 11:25:56

Lone parent full time work pocket money £80 per month. So unless your DH had a huge amount more I would say it seems fair.

funnyossity Wed 05-Feb-14 11:26:04

We have access to our joint account as we are partners. We don't comment on each others spending as we now know we are both careful- we've been together nearly 20 years. We discuss big costs together and look through the bank statement and credit card bills each month- that keeps us in check i think!

JackShit Wed 05-Feb-14 11:26:20

It's loads. You are very, very lucky indeed.

Iwannalaylikethisforever Wed 05-Feb-14 11:26:34

If either if us want/need something we just buy it. Unless it's very expensive, without ever having to ask.
If I buy something for myself, like new shoes or jeans, I always look to buy dh something too. If I don't see anything it doesn't matter he never expects me to buy for him at the same time. I like to.
He never questions my spending When I think about it.
Although he will notice "nice new top/jeans"
Same with anything involving dc, only to tell them how nice they look.
Honestly, I don't have expensive shopping habit anyway, very high steet ordinary attire. I rarely have a hair cut, it's long and doesn't need it. I've never had any beauty treatments or smoke/drink. So I don't think I need an allowance.

bonvivant Wed 05-Feb-14 11:27:53

I work, have a well paid job, and probably might spend an average of £50 on myself for clothes, make up etc - in a month!!

anklebitersmum Wed 05-Feb-14 11:28:40

I don't allocate anything for me. I do get a haircut every couple of months which is £30 but other than that I'm not very high maintenance, although I did spend a whole £10 on 3 packs of new undies and a pair of replacement slipper socks this weekend grin

Mostly I buy for the biters.

SofaKing Wed 05-Feb-14 11:28:53

Dh and I used to spend whatever we liked but I have now suggested a £50 weekly budget for each of our personal spending. I have already blown it for this week as I've spent it on the dc's, so clearly I will have to redo the budget to account for how expensive they are!

TheRealAmandaClarke Wed 05-Feb-14 11:28:55

Yy Grumpykins
Ok, I only work pt.
But even with above average salaries, after childcare, mortgage, groceries, utilities and DCs essentials I don't have that to myself. Well, not as a set amount each month.

Does that include petrol money?

What happens if you go on holiday? Or see something nice for the house?
What I don't get about the question OP is that any reply/circumstance would be so dependent on income. surely it depends on wha your DH earns.
£135 is a lot of money to some ppl. It's piss all to others.
Or are you asking more about the very nature of being "given" an allowance?

We have one pot that everything goes in, and then it flys out of it again. What ever needs to be bought, for whatever reason is bought from the one pot. I don't think I could cope with separate finances. In truth I do pretty much all the spending as I do all the organising. DH will ask if the cash is there for X that he fancies buying/doing and ill tell him it is or it isn't. smile

SolomanDaisy Wed 05-Feb-14 11:29:41

It depends what your household income is, doesn't it? If it is £1k a month, you have a good percentage to spend on yourself if it is £10k, not so good.

SomethingkindaOod Wed 05-Feb-14 11:29:49

Depends on the month. Sometimes we have a bit left over to spend on extras, sometimes we don't. No set limit, just if we can afford it.

laregina Wed 05-Feb-14 11:30:14

I am not a SAHM, but took long maternity leave with the DC. When I was on leave and was not therefore 'earning', nothing changed. Ie, if either of us wanted to buy something, we just bought it! I don't know the 'figure' of what amount we had/have available each month when everything was/is paid but we don't run out of money - maybe I'm just not spending enough grin

No idea, joint bank account and food, petrol and stuff for the DDs and all DH's clothes etc. (He hasn't bought his own clothes in his entire 48 years on this planet) end up on my card as well as my things.

I guess I'm more careful than if I was earning, but I've never done make up, expensive clothes and loads of shoes.

I guess not going to the hairdressers to dye my hair and not giving to charity (I can't help feeling the money belongs to my DDs) are my two things I'd do differently.

morethanpotatoprints Wed 05-Feb-14 11:31:01

I don't know really OP.

I have cb, tax credits and dh gives me half his wage.
I pay for stuff for family, entertainment, dds music lessons, public transport, clothes etc.

I can't say I've ever stopped to work it out tbh.
Sorry, not much help.

lunar1 Wed 05-Feb-14 11:31:05

We have a joint account and 2 savings accounts each. We have a standing order for £250 savings each that is never touched, £100 each into savings which Is for Christmas/birthdays/holidays etc. then we have joint savings for emergencies and school fees. Every thing else we use the joint account, neither of us really spend for ourselves. But it's completely equal, any extra left at the end if the month we have a family treat and split the rest into savings.

TheRealAmandaClarke Wed 05-Feb-14 11:32:57

I don't think it's neccessarily a bad thing to be allocated a personal allowance or "pocket money"
My DH works out all our finances. Frankly I am grateful for that but I know it doesn't suit everyone.
What do you think you should get?

Because if DH said to me that our income is x and our outgoings are y so we each have x-y to play with between us then I would trust he had done the maths.
If he bought himself designer clothes and expected me to shop in primary all the it time I'd be miffed.

katrina81 Wed 05-Feb-14 11:33:36

I have no allowance whatever is left over after bills is for us both to share.

I have never had to justify any amount of money I had spent along as there was money left over.

Nice for the house is the one thing I do wish we had, sometimes, but we all like holidays, days/meals out,

takeaways and expensive hobbies more.

BornOfFrustration Wed 05-Feb-14 11:33:56

Not much, but exactly the same as DH.

littlebluedog12 Wed 05-Feb-14 11:35:08

Well I guess it depends what you need to spend it on? I have �50 a month transferred to my account- I spend it on things I guess I consider frivolous/luxuries eg clothes or haircut for me, or taking DD2 for cake in a coffee shop. But things like bus fare, clothes for the kids, their swimming lessons, birthday presents etc I buy from the joint account.

SwayingBranches Wed 05-Feb-14 11:36:22

Joint account, use what we need. Both responsible for finances so know what we can/can't afford personally.

Your OP is confusing, you say it's money for you then mention children and birthdays. If you're doing a money allocated type of thing then equal amounts for wholly personal use, other things come out of joint money.

FuckyNell Wed 05-Feb-14 11:37:12

Lunar you are riiiiich grin

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