To think that if you are grown man at a swimming pool dressing your small daughter...

(338 Posts)
2cats2many Tue 04-Feb-14 19:09:37

..you should use the clearly marked, clean and almost-empty family change room rather than the women's change room?

I approached him and said quietly: "Do you know that you are in the women's change room?" To which he replied: "Yes, but she insists in coming in here and the alternative would be a big, screaming fight. I'm actually quite uncomfortable." He then made a swift exit.

Well, guess what- so are all the women who are using the changing room in the reasonable expectation that they would be able to get showered and changed in the mostly shared facilities (just a few cubicles) without being joined by a man.

In his position, I would have the big screaming fight.

AuntieStella Tue 04-Feb-14 19:34:46

When there is a family changing area, there is no need whatsoever for sexes to be in the 'wrong' sex changing room.

He WBVVVU.

thenamestheyareachanging Tue 04-Feb-14 19:34:59

lougle there is no family change area at our swimming pool and I take my 7yo ds into the ladies, but send him into his own cubicle. I feel he's oo young to send into the men's alone. MNers usually have a fit when I say I send my children to the toilet alone when we're out and about, in certain places - are changing rooms different somehow? I feel it's less safe.

Wingdingdong Tue 04-Feb-14 19:35:02

I'd have gone apeshit if I - or even my 4yo DD - had been naked/mid-change in the communal changing room and a man had walked in, with ir without his small DD! Regardless of his DD's wishes, he's not allowed in the women's changing room. End of. And if he can't control his DD in a changing room, should he really be taking her swimming?

youbethemummylion Tue 04-Feb-14 19:35:27

Never mind the fact he shouldnt have been there which he shouldnt that poor 4yr old is going to be heading for a shock when she encounters an adult who doesnt bend to her every whim!

frogs Tue 04-Feb-14 19:37:29

I think he needs to be told, "She's 4, you're 40, which of you is actually in charge?"

hmm

Wingdingdong Tue 04-Feb-14 19:37:34

DH says 'better the big screaming fight than going on the Sex Offenders' Register' grin

namechangesforthehardstuff Tue 04-Feb-14 19:42:03

I don't think we can assume he was telling the truth about his DD.

'Hello. Are you a massive pervert? '

'Um, no I'm a poor downtrodden father'

'Oh OK then'

grin

lljkk Tue 04-Feb-14 19:43:40

ime most British women wouldn't be caught dead letting any important body bits showing even if the room is supposed to be females only, so he wouldn't have a chance of seeing anything interesting anyway. Sorry, I really don't see a likely problem.

foreverondiet Tue 04-Feb-14 19:44:22

In response to the person changing the child with SN - well I think that above a certain age (8-10) it's just not appropriate to take a child into the opposite sex changing room so either you need to find a man to take a SN boy or need to find a pool with mixed changing areas (ie where it's all cubicles) or find a pool with family changing or go at a special time etc. If your child is distressed by a 7 year old boy in the woman's changing room well thats difficult but IMO it's fine for him to be there at that age - even children without SN would find it hard to get changed on their own.

namechangesforthehardstuff Tue 04-Feb-14 19:46:09

I am SO naked in the wouldn't changing rooms. LOADS to see here. wink

namechangesforthehardstuff Tue 04-Feb-14 19:46:39

Women's. Obv.

ALittleStranger Tue 04-Feb-14 19:47:08

Lljkk I think you're frequenting a very unusual swimming pool. Apart from one with only communal changing areas, every one that I've been to has had loads of "interesting" parts on display.

RubyrooUK Tue 04-Feb-14 19:48:47

Our swimming pool has unisex showers in the family section. I met a whole naked family in there recently. Mum, dad, son and two daughters (all over the age of six-ish).

I was a bit surprised but possibly this sort of experience has made me less shocked at the idea of the dad in the wrong changing room. grin

Pimpf Tue 04-Feb-14 19:52:46

I remember a dad trying to take his daughter into the girls changing rooms, when I stopped him, he asked where was he supposed to change her, how about in the men's changing room, you're not allowed in here

MaxPepsi Tue 04-Feb-14 19:55:32

I couldn't care less.

Our newly built leisure centre has changing rooms. That's it. No female rooms. No male rooms. Only one lot of showers.....in full view of the pool

lljkk Tue 04-Feb-14 19:57:02

ime, British women don't get naked in front of each other. They stand with bras on & nipples 3 mm from the wall when changing tops, nobody showers after sport no matter how sweaty unless it's in a private cubicle. Sit down for changing trousers or creep into the wall paint again.

The exception were Loughborough Uni club swimmers; they chased each around the changing room starkers howling in laughter. Quite refreshing.

Ubik1 Tue 04-Feb-14 19:59:25

Ha ha

I bet he just died on the way home...in a what was I thinking kind of way

Do you think his wife was like: "You Did What?"

ALittleStranger Tue 04-Feb-14 20:00:44

Max if it's anything like the newly built swimming pool with cubicles on the pool side that I'm thinking of, the the difference is that it's very clearly a communal changing area, with cubicles only. The OP is talking about a ladies' changing room, where women would expect to be able to walk around naked. As soon as an area is designated single sex people expect it to be treated as such.

OnGoldenPond Tue 04-Feb-14 20:01:43

Speak for yourself, lljkk, if you walked into the changing rooms when I am getting changed you would get a proper eyeful! grin

OP, YANBU that father should get a grip and control his DD, not make it everyone else's problem that she is a spoiled brat.

IamInvisible Tue 04-Feb-14 20:03:20

YANBU. He should not have been in there imo.

He, also, needs to realise he's the adult and in charge, so screaming fit or not, what he says goes!

Sunshineonsea Tue 04-Feb-14 20:04:52

Yanbu!
The first time I used the changing facilites in my new local freaked me out, it's an all in one affair with cubicles, I still can't get used to it and change as quick as possible

grin Ubik

OP I think I would point out that there are family changing rooms if his DD doesn't want to go into the men's next time you see him. And after that complain.

I don't think it's fair for him to be in there. Although I did once go into a men's toilet with DS who insisted. I did a quick glance and checked first though and it was totally empty so not exactly the same!

cjel Tue 04-Feb-14 20:06:36

This should be reported. He should not have been in there and they probably have a room he could change in if he asked. His dd shouldn't be in the mens at her age either.

MaxPepsi Tue 04-Feb-14 20:09:02

I know she was. I still wouldn't have given a shit if a man was in there with his young daughter.

I would still walk around naked.

Aliama Tue 04-Feb-14 20:09:21

While I agree YANBU, I do feel a bit sorry for the poor man. I bet he was petrified. (I'm assuming he didn't just waltz into the ladies without checking to see if anyone was in there first, of course. If he did then shock)

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