Note: Please bear in mind that whilst this topic does canvass opinions, it is not a fight club. You may disagree with other posters but we do ask you please to stick to our Talk Guidelines and to be civil. We don't allow personal attacks or troll-hunting. Do please report any. Thanks, MNHQ.

To want dp's parents to stop thinking everything is theirs?!

(39 Posts)
babybearsmummy Thu 30-Jan-14 14:10:58

We're decorating our living room at the moment and have decided to get new furniture too, but to help fund it we've had to sell our old furniture at the same time.

Every time time I post something for sale on our local Facebook selling page or Gumtree, they'll call us within seconds to say they want it... Fine you might say. But they don't want to pay for it and when we say we're selling it not giving it away, they claim it's theirs.

I'm getting so sick of having to dig out DP's old receipts for things to prove it to them and then being made to feel bad because we 'won't let the have it' even when we've said they can have it for less than we have asked for.

Everything from curtains, our spare laptop, a filing cabinet etc they've had a fit at. O.H has given in a few times but it's just driving me insane. What do I do?!

MyPrettyToes Thu 30-Jan-14 14:13:37

Tell them to fuck off and stop being so grabby?? Or would that be OTT?

purplebaubles Thu 30-Jan-14 14:14:20

Block them on FB?!

Lottiedoubtie Thu 30-Jan-14 14:14:35

Do you have anything in your house that they have purchased for you?

yummystepford Thu 30-Jan-14 14:15:47

You need to explain, it's not that you wouldn't give it to them if you could, but you need to sell it to buy the new things for the house, otherwise you will be left with nothing.

ISeeYouShiverWithAntici Thu 30-Jan-14 14:16:23

Set up a different user name so that they can't search for you? Would they trawl through looking for anything that they think might be yours or are they searching for your known name?

how much stuff do they think they've given you compared to how much they actually have given you? Why do they think they have given you every stick of furniture in your home? Maybe you are just going to have to tell them that it is yours, you are selling it and they need to back off.

nennypops Thu 30-Jan-14 14:18:21

I'd be tempted to wind them up by posting a load of adverts selling fictional objects. Then when they phone up to claim it's theirs, ask how, seeing that it doesn't exist. Eventually they may decide that it's not worth bothering.

bluebeanie Thu 30-Jan-14 14:18:25

Why not sell via a different means? Gumtree?

bluebeanie Thu 30-Jan-14 14:19:24

Oh, you use Gumtree. Er, Ebay? Local ads?

babybearsmummy Thu 30-Jan-14 14:39:22

Like your idea Nenny!

Lottie we had a couple if things of theirs which they lent us when we first moved in (microwave, set of drawers) but have since bought our own and returned them.

I've tried being nice, I've shown them proof of purchase of everything, DP has gone through it all with them and even when they know it's not theirs, they start the emotional blackmail of how they need it (they don't, and don't have room for some of it) and that w're mean for not giving them things. When we said we were replacing our curtains, they claimed they were theirs, even though they were there when another family member lent them to us!

We gave them a small set if drawers the other week and they're still moaning they have no space for it, despite saying how desperately the needed it. I think I will try the idea of selling under another name and hoping they don't recognise it's ours!

Kewcumber Thu 30-Jan-14 14:41:31

I'd use the spare laptop to apply force liberally to the back of their head. If you haven't already sold it that is...

Topaz25 Thu 30-Jan-14 14:43:22

That's really bizarre behaviour, especially if you don't currently have anything of theirs. Are they going through some kind of financial hardship? Or do they have some kind of hoarding problem? It's no excuse but could be an explanation. You have been more than reasonable showing them receipts etc and it sounds like they are trying it on. I would refuse to deal with them about this issue any more. I agree with the advice to change your name on selling sites.

Topaz25 Thu 30-Jan-14 14:44:42

I would also take a step back from the relationship and stop telling them when you're changing or redecorating things.

Topaz25 Thu 30-Jan-14 14:45:10

The relationship with them obviously

steff13 United States Thu 30-Jan-14 14:45:49

When you post something on FB, you can block certain people from seeing it.

As far as things that you have already posted, your partner really should be telling them no, but it seems that he's been having trouble doing that. Perhaps in the future if they call ask for something, you could say, "sure, we're asking $25," or whatever, and if they balk at paying, tell them you need to sell the items to raise funds for the new furniture.

wobblyweebles Thu 30-Jan-14 14:47:15

This is when the broken record technique comes into its own.

"We've had this conversation before. You did not buy or give us this item of furniture. We are selling it so we can buy new furniture."

"We've had this conversation before. You did not buy or give us this item of furniture. We are selling it so we can buy new furniture."

"We've had this conversation before. You did not buy or give us this item of furniture. We are selling it so we can buy new furniture."

"We've had this conversation before. You did not buy or give us this item of furniture. We are selling it so we can buy new furniture."

Ad infinitum.

oscarwilde Thu 30-Jan-14 14:47:27

Are they hoarders?

MsAspreyDiamonds Thu 30-Jan-14 14:47:28

Do you think they want it so they can sell & profit from it? My SIL asked for my dc clothes to sell on ebay so she can book a holiday for herself. The grabby bitch.

wobblyweebles Thu 30-Jan-14 14:47:35

Oh and don't go digging out receipts. You don't have to prove anything. These are your things.

Pinkje Thu 30-Jan-14 14:51:57

Dementia? sounds similar to my MIL

MerylStrop Thu 30-Jan-14 14:56:00

That is very strange behaviour on their part.
Are they very old? Or very skint? Or hoarders?

Cerisier Thu 30-Jan-14 15:00:40

They sound very odd indeed. You could get another phone with a number they don't recognise and use a different name in the adverts. They wouldn't know it is you then surely.

Sallyingforth Thu 30-Jan-14 15:16:55

Create a new ID on ebay, and advertise there. Thay won't have a clue it's you.

girlywhirly Thu 30-Jan-14 15:20:47

You could try selling stuff through the local paper, you only need to include a phone number with your ad which could be mobile if you like, perhaps a little less recognisable.

I'd keep anything like this a secret from them in the future, you don't have to tell them everything you do, it's just asking for trouble. If DP won't support you and be firm with his parents, you have to sell your stuff without their knowledge for a quiet life.

I think their behaviour is peculiar too.

whatever5 Thu 30-Jan-14 15:32:21

It is very odd behaviour. Have they always been a bit odd?

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now