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to want to book myself into a hotel room on my own for a night?

(67 Posts)
wintersdawn Thu 30-Jan-14 10:44:22

I am exhausted, I haven't slept in I don't know how long, my 3yo dd is at full toddler tantrum plus nightmares stage, my 9 mo ds is teething and has realised mummy can leave the room without him cue screaming all day long, my dog is bored of not having a decent walk because everywhere is flooded and my dh just has to breathe to annoy the hell out of me.
I know I am blowing everything out of proportion but I can't seem to stop myself. I really just need peace.
I'm being selfish aren't Isad

I did this when DC2 was nearly 2yo and had never slept more than a couple of hours at a time (and never during the day).

It was fantastic. Not just the actual night away, but I booked a couple of weeks in advance and being able to look forward to a break in eager anticipation really helped me get through a tough couple of weeks.

Then when I got back (and had an improved perspective on life) and everyone (including DH and DS) had survived, I felt a lot less pressure on me to be continually available 24/7/52. It was a bit of a lightbulb moment.

MintyChops Thu 30-Jan-14 23:44:55

Definitely do it. I have a 4 year old and a one year old plus 2 dogs and before Christmas I had 2 nights away on my own. I needed it, it really helped me get some headspace and sleep and it was a great thing to do. Am going to do it at least once a year, not selfish, the right thing for me and I was a much nicer mum and wife afterwards (for a while!).

Cuddlydragon Thu 30-Jan-14 23:31:52

Do it! I had a night in a hotel for a business meeting when DS was 11 months. I felt so guilty in the run up to it but, my god, it was amazing. Huge lengthy hot bath, room service for dinner and breakfast. Bliss!

KateMoose Thu 30-Jan-14 22:04:45

If I were you I would totally do this. I would find a flood free area and a dog friendly hotel. I would take the dog (who clearly needs the break too), do everything that others have suggested (wine, gym, bed- maybe not in that order) and also take the dog for a long yomp and make sure he/she got a slap up meal too. grin

Aniseeda Thu 30-Jan-14 20:36:46

When mine were this age I used to fantasize about becoming a long distance lorry driver - I am sure I'd have been hopeless at the job but the thought of some unbroken sleep tucked up in the cab ON MY OWN was so appealing!

I used to watch Big Brother and really really hate the contestants for still being asleep at 11am!

I say do it if you can!

MidniteScribbler Thu 30-Jan-14 20:08:13

Just do it. I'm a single parent to 1, but I had my meltdown moment late last year as I hadn't had a night "off" in two years. I got a babysitter, booked a night at a hotel by myself and had 24 blissful hours doing what I wanted to do. Better than therapy!

projectbabyweight Thu 30-Jan-14 20:03:19

I recently had 3 nights in hospital with mild appendicitis (and had it removed). It was bliss! I came home floating on air (mentally, was pretty uncomfortable physically), and dh said it was like I'd been reset grin

NCISaddict Thu 30-Jan-14 19:00:44

I always remember Libby Purves saying she wailed at her DH that she wanted to be back in hospital because 'someone offered her a cup of tea and a laxative at 8.30pm' she said she never had one but it was the fact that someone offered.
I definitely identified with that, no local family and a DH who was never back from work until 8.00pm having left at 6.30am.

TheCrackFox Thu 30-Jan-14 18:55:02

If you can afford it then do it.

When my two were little I used to fantasize about having a none serious medical problem that necessitated a short stay in hospital.

projectbabyweight Thu 30-Jan-14 18:51:04

Spot on Crispy!

CrispyFB Thu 30-Jan-14 18:39:36

Like you we have no family support whatsoever and no friends who would support in that way either.

I went skiing last January completely on my own for three nights, leaving the 3 DC who were then 6, 4 and almost 2 with DH. Given he keeps clearing off to America on six night stays for "work" (training courses he actively enjoys) I said it was only fair. He begrudgingly agreed.

Aside from hospital stays and one hen night I'd never really spent a night away from them before! It did me so much good on every level - better sleep, better self-esteem, remembering I wasn't just "MUMMMMMYYYYYYYY" and gave DH a small insight into my day to day life.

I didn't miss them at all, I guess I must have been that desperate.. but it WAS lovely to see them again afterwards! And it really boosted me mentally afterwards too.

Do it.

Mothers are not meant to cope this long without a break from their children - we're supposed to have family and community around us to give us those breaks. It's hardly surprising most of us desperately need one for our sanity, it's not a natural circumstance to be 24/7 parenting.

GlitzAndGiggles Thu 30-Jan-14 17:52:44

I'd love to do this for a night! Go for it

NCISaddict Thu 30-Jan-14 17:50:33

I used to dream about this when I had three under five and they were all good sleepers!
Do it, I do it occasionally now if I'm on a course, only a Premier Inn but it's lovely not to have to think of anyone else and to have someone who'll wash your towels.

Procrastinating Thu 30-Jan-14 17:49:20

Do it.

When I had three under five I went away to a hotel alone for one night and I still remember the joy of being alone, sitting on my balcony (it was Yorkshire!) and drinking wine. I felt better for ages afterwards.

petitdonkey Thu 30-Jan-14 17:44:53

I did this!! Booked two nights, spent the first one going out with a girl friend, drank a lot of wine but it didn't matter as I went home on my own to the hotel - still woke early but lounged around and ordered breakfast in the room. Spent the next whole day mooching around London then came back for a snooze and read my book. Was a tiny bit bored in the evening then woke up the next morning, went to the hairdresser and was then really desperate to get home to the chaos.

Do iT!!

BratinghamPalace Thu 30-Jan-14 17:40:30

Do it. Costs less than a divorce!!! Seriously. And go home in the afternoon the day after. Not first thing in the morning. I did it twice. Worth anything.

maparole Thu 30-Jan-14 17:06:57

Definitely YANBU.

I only have one ds and he was a great sleeper, but even so I took myself off a couple of times during his toddlerhood

hamptoncourt Thu 30-Jan-14 16:41:03

Book at least two nights though, so you really get the benefit as you actually might find it hard to sleep the first night, despite being so knackered.

Like previous posters I still do this even though my DC are teenagers!!

Why shouldn't you?

Meerka Thu 30-Jan-14 16:29:56

actually, if you are restored by a night's sleep then you really will be a refreshed and happier mama, and the little ones will pick up one that.

There is nothing wrong with balancing their needs and yours in the right way! ofc they come first but if they are safe and cared for, you can and dare I say, should, take some time to take care of yoruself too. You will be so so restored.

Coumarin Thu 30-Jan-14 15:50:24

Do it. A fancy one with a huge white bed, 24 hour room service, a mini fridge heaving with posh crisps and chocolate and a spa.

Do it do it!

Thetallesttower Thu 30-Jan-14 15:49:51

My husband did enable me to go away for a week around exactly this stage, I was really losing it in terms of exhaustion and perspective, and he just said, you need to go away and have a break. I went to see some friends. I did it again a couple of years later. I help him if he's overloaded and wants to say go to see a friend- I am very grateful for someone point out I was running on empty and seeing it was important to fix it.

PlumpPartridge Thu 30-Jan-14 15:48:03

I do actually daydream about shutting myself in the back bedroom and pretending I'm not there so DH and the DC can't find me, then putting in the earplugs and merrily ignoring the world.

I haven't ever done it because I feel bad about wanting to sad

bluebeanie Thu 30-Jan-14 15:40:35

Grumpy - that sounds like my idea of heaven. smile

ModernToss Thu 30-Jan-14 15:36:20

I did it; I was at the end of my tether, so I splashed out on a beautiful hotel that was walking distance from home, so if there was a real emergency I could be there fast. Room service dinner, early night, sleep in, room service breakfast - it was fantastic. DO IT.

Tailtwister Thu 30-Jan-14 15:19:54

No, you are NOT being selfish. I seriously considered it myself when the children were very small for similar reasons and it was only the lack of funds which stopped me. Of course I survived, but I'm sure the break (and sleep!) would have done me the world of good.

Book it and go!

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