to ask the health visitor why she's here

(336 Posts)

Recently I got a letter from the health visiting team. It was informing me that an appointment had been made for a home visit for my DS because he has just turned 2.

DS is not a PFB. There's been no concerns with his development or health. No missed vaccinations or GP appointments. Nothing. So why the need for the visit?

I phoned and cancelled the appointment saying I had no concerns with my DS. They phoned back a few days later to say another appointment had been arranged. WTF? I thought this service was optional not mandatory?!

SaucyJack Thu 23-Jan-14 18:36:19

I feel under surveillance - in my own home.

Let's be honest- you ARE.

I totally totally get why you don't like having your family spied upon, but they'll generally go away quicker if you co-operate.

softlysoftly Thu 23-Jan-14 18:37:08

Yes it's pointless in your cause.

Yes maybe they and you have better things to do (I know I do).

But do you know what? I think checks at the surgery every 6 months up until attendance at full time school should be compulsory and non attendance trigger SS check up.

Invasive and in the most cases unnecessary but if it saves 1 child from the fate of the cases of little bodies abandoned in woodlands / cots / drowned in baths while the mother tops herself then I'll put myself out for that!

MyLeftElbow Thu 23-Jan-14 18:38:03

I had no concerns about DS2. He hit all his milestones except for speech. I just presumed he was slow to talk. However his 2 year check revealed some other developmental milestones that it hadn't even occurred to me that he'd not hit. He was such a quiet, content little chap (and I was going through a terrible time with DS1 who was 6 and being assessed for ADHD and Asperger's)

Anyway, if it hadn't been for the 2 year check it wouldn't have been spotted as early that DS2 was struggling, we wouldn't have had portage, a consultant and an eventual diagnosis of severe autism. He's 7 now and in a special school with 1-1 support at all times.

Obviously our case was extreme and you have no worries about your child - but the check is there for a really good reason and not just to be a nosy irritation.

more cost effective than having contact with you once a year?

MyLeftElbow Thu 23-Jan-14 18:39:00

C&C - it took me so long to write that I cross-posted with you!

yonisareforever Thu 23-Jan-14 18:39:07

kungfu i thought health professionals and lots of different agencies had been involved with lots of children who had been abused and it was the fact they had seen the dc that had been the very problem.

yonisareforever Thu 23-Jan-14 18:39:37

thinking daniel, baby p, the more recent one where the lady killed her three children....i think she was seen 200 times?

Salmotrutta Thu 23-Jan-14 18:39:54

Well, given the high profile cases of neglect and abuse that have emerged lately I'm sure they are using the checks to help screen for potential problems?

What would you have them do OP?

Say "That's fine" when less-than-attentive parents don't take up appointments or refuse them outright?
Maybe they regard the well-being of children to be more important than your busy life?

oldboiler Thu 23-Jan-14 18:41:02

Yabu. This is for your child's benefit and I can't see why you wouldn't agree to it despite the 'inconvenience'. It will take about 20 minutes FFS. If I were a HV your point blank refusal would indeed raise a reg flag with me.

SuburbanRhonda Thu 23-Jan-14 18:41:05

What better way would you suggest, OP?

No point complaining if you don't have an alternative to suggest.

Let's be honest- you ARE.

Yup, and that's fucked up. It doesn't sit right with me. Guilty until proven innocent. It's not logical.

Of course, I'll accept the appointment, in order to get off the radar. But I'll be asking the HV some Qs about why she's here and I'd like some honest answers. Do you reckon I'll get them?

Surely I'm entitled to the truth?

Salmotrutta Thu 23-Jan-14 18:43:01

You're certainly entitled...

AnAdventureInCakeAndWine Thu 23-Jan-14 18:43:09

We just got a letter inviting us to contact them to book a check with the HV if we wanted one.

DD2's milestone-hitting is regularly monitored on several different scales by two or three different sets of professionals as it is so it didn't seem a good use of anyone's time.

RhondaJean Thu 23-Jan-14 18:43:13

Can you perhaps suggest a better way of "sieving out the baby ps"?

I know hvs can be overbearing in some cases but I cannot understand the resentment I see towards them on here. I was always delighted to show my lovely children off to any one mind you.

It's not only a check to detect abuse anyway, it's to check your child is developing normally and see if you have anything you want to ask or any worried or concerns as well. There are a lot of parents out there with mild concerns about their child or whether they are doing something wrong or right who don't want to go bother a GP with something small and they get a chance to ask for advice from the hvs.

BadChat25 Thu 23-Jan-14 18:43:48

I find your attitude really bizarre to say the least OP.

whereisthewitch Thu 23-Jan-14 18:44:03

Check your red book. ....there is a 24month check as standard.

FortyDoorsToNowhere Thu 23-Jan-14 18:44:16

I think it's pointless, I go military on my house and get it spotless for when I have HCP coming around.

With an appointment you can easily fake your home life.

SuburbanRhonda Thu 23-Jan-14 18:44:20

salmon grin

Salmotrutta Thu 23-Jan-14 18:44:22

Yes, "sieving out baby Ps" was a rather horrible phrase.

Lucked Thu 23-Jan-14 18:46:55

They have actually started the 2 year check to look for undiagnosed developmental delay, you op are obviously an experienced mum buy there was a realisation that more children were attending nursery/school with problems that the parents were unaware of and the opportunity for early intervention had been missed. The parents had no concerns and had never sought help.

The check on the child's well being is secondary but I think we are all realising very important.

sheriffofnottingham Thu 23-Jan-14 18:47:19

In very sorry you don't want to waste 20mins of your precious time, but perhaps this way another baby p, for example, may be saved. Try to think about others sone time

I'm not trying to be provocative but I really can't see the logic in this statement. I can't see how whether or not OP choses to accept an optional visit would in any way either help or hinder vulnerable children.

Pobblewhohasnotoes Thu 23-Jan-14 18:49:24

The last hv I saw was lovely. I have no problem with them wanting to do a 2 year check. It's 20 minutes out of our day, it's hardly a hassle.

I'd love to know how you think they can do better at sieving out the babyPs, as you put it. I find your attitude really strange.

Jemma1111 Thu 23-Jan-14 18:51:26

Op why are you so pissed off that the hv wants to pay you a visit in order to check that YOUR child is ok ?.

Your attitude is disgusting

Wombles... if it helps, I cancelled and refused to arrange another. In fact my son has only seen 1 health visitor for a check at around 6 months.

There hasn't, to my knowledge been any other further checks done, he's now 3. They have left me alone and no further interest has been raised.

If you don't want to, then don't do it.

5HundredUsernamesLater Thu 23-Jan-14 18:53:24

It's going back a few years to when my daughter had visits so no expert but is it possible the poor health visitor is just doing her job and has to make a minimum number of visits to each child. I think you are probably overreacting. Could understand it if it was the social workers from the child protection team that were insistent on dropping in.

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