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To tell ds reception teacher he is NOT doing reading books at home.

(142 Posts)
Altinkum Wed 22-Jan-14 18:35:41

Ds2 is 4 years and 5 months he is the youngest in his year and is also developmentally behind in speech and ability (education) since sept he has only read 23 school books, he is supposed to read 3 a week we are averaging about 1 book per week if that.

He is really struggling reading at home but apparently is doing excellent in school hmm

He can sound the book out but he simply cannot blend the words toghther to make the word.

Yesterday we had 20 mins of tears and tampering - because he just couldn't blend the words, he just dosent understand blending them toghther even simple words like in, is, it etc... He knows mum and dad, because he has memorised those words.

Yesterday I a note in his parent comment book saying the above -

All I got was - "keep practising with sound out and blending words, so today we have and again sounding out is fine, blending is NOT. We have had tears to the point he has made himself sick, (we stopped 10 mins into the book but was still upset 20 mins later and was sick) I don't want to make him do this, and have him crying every night.

He is fab at math, and his writing is coming on, he can count to 100 no problem, lows the comets alphabet, draws no problem and knows all his shapes and colours... It is just reading he is struggling with massively.

AIBU to say I/him needs to take a break from his reading books (we read to him every night and he tells us what's going on in the picture by pointing and verbally telling us etc... I honesty think if we continue to do this he will loathe reading, he's also thrown his reading book across the table in huge frustration.

I just needs break and I think he does too.

Altinkum Wed 22-Jan-14 18:38:19

Oooo bloody hell... Sorry about the post.

Sirzy Wed 22-Jan-14 18:39:59

I would ask them to send home easier books, but I wouldn't not do it at all as that certainly won't help him especially not giving the impression that if your struggling with something you shouldn't have to do it.

He is in reception as long as he can tell you the story and have a go at the reading now and again school will bring him along fine, just let him sound the words out don't worry/do blending it takes time but will be fine

littleredsquirrel Wed 22-Jan-14 18:41:01

I'm no expert but I would focus on the blending rather than dropping reading altogether. I would do it with short words when you're speaking initially eg "can mummy have a k-i-s?" "can I have a h-u-g?"

can I have a biscuit mummy? "y-e-s"

makes sure you are using the phonics sounds though rather than the old 1970s pronunciation of the sounds otherwise is far harder for them to pick up. "Why is mummy asking for a ku-i-su??" If you're doing it properly it just sounds like you're saying the words really slowly.

JerseySpud Wed 22-Jan-14 18:41:09

How is he ever going to improve if you aren't supporting his learning at home? Or is he going to learn that if he finds something difficult in life then to just give up.

The mroe you persevere the more he will pick it up. Just ask if you can drop back to 1 book expected to be read per week rather than 3

OwlinaTree Wed 22-Jan-14 18:41:28

Poor little thing. I would read to him, modelling sounding out and blending. Or get him to sound out and you blend it together.

He'll get it soon.

manicinsomniac Wed 22-Jan-14 18:42:22

YABU - it is the schools responsibility to send home appropriate books (even if they start with ones that are just pictures and your child makes the story up to fit the pictures) but it is your responsibility to help him progress by hearing him read at home too. However hard it is.

wouldbemedic Wed 22-Jan-14 18:42:28

I wouldn't send a note. It might be difficult to get across the level of distress your son is going through. I would make an appointment to see the teacher and explain what's happening. It's not her fault.

Nanny0gg Wed 22-Jan-14 18:42:40

Do you mean blending the sounds to make words or linking the words to make sentences?

What you suggest you want to do sounds fine tbh.,but it would be worth meeting with the teacher so that she knows the situation.

WooWooOwl Wed 22-Jan-14 18:42:40

I think a short break is fine, but I wouldn't leave it more than a couple of weeks tops. He will fall behind otherwise.

Can you get him to sound out the words and then you do the blending but for him? Then you can read it more fluently for him so that he's hearing the words as he sees them. When you're blending, say the sounds and repeat it over and over getting quicker so that he can hear the sounds actually blending together, rather than just going straight from the individual sounds to the word. Sorry if I'm stating the obvious!

He will get it eventually, but only if you persevere.

manicinsomniac Wed 22-Jan-14 18:42:49

Reading it to him/with him is a good suggestion

bunchoffives Wed 22-Jan-14 18:43:13

He's FOUR for heaven's sake. Don't panic. Just get him to enjoy the stories at the moment and try and predict/talk about what is happening by looking at the pics.

And, importantly, if he gets upset stop straight away. Don't risk putting him off reading for years to come. The main thing is to get a positive attitude towards books at this age.

Diamondsareagirls Wed 22-Jan-14 18:43:46

I think you do need to continue the reading as giving up will send completely the wrong message. It sounds like he does need easier material and Owlina's suggestion about you modelling and then blending it together is a good one.

Nanny0gg Wed 22-Jan-14 18:44:03

Um, the OP is supporting his learning. She is reading and sharing and discussing stories with her DC.

Forcing him so he's extremely upset is not helping and it's not necessary.

etoo Wed 22-Jan-14 18:44:44

He can only learn as fast as he can learn, it's not fair to try to push him faster than he can go according to an artificial timetable set by by state education system. He will catch up eventually given the opportunity. Obviously this may mean you need to do more work at home so he doesn't get left behind. School treatment of summer-born kids does piss me off though.

Ifcatshadthumbs Wed 22-Jan-14 18:45:37

My ds also has some developmental delay so teaching him to understand blending was difficult so I asked his speech therapist for advice. A good way that helped him to learn blending was printing out some CVC words with pictures like Cat, dog, rat, bus etc and putting maybe six of the out in front of him and asking "can you find C. A. T." Then when he picked the right one say "oh great you found C. A. T, cat well done"

Once he knew them all I cut off the picture and just put out the word instead.

There's quite a lot of websites to print off CVC words with pictures if you google.

Perhaps have a break from the books but try this activity for a while instead.

Ifcatshadthumbs Wed 22-Jan-14 18:47:15

Also ds mostly had wordless picture books all through reception but in year one made a real leap forward once he understood the concept of blending.

YouTheCat Wed 22-Jan-14 18:47:22

You go through the book together, looking at the pictures so he can relay the story to you. Then you read the book to him, getting him to try the occasional word, blending or from memory to get his confidence up.

He will get there. School sounds stupid and obsessed with phonics to me, like many of them these days.

I managed to learn to read without ever blending or learning phonemes. Dd managed to be a free reader in year 1 in the same way. Phonics and blending does not suit all children.

JingleBrains Wed 22-Jan-14 18:48:51

You poor thing <hug>
My DS is the youngest in his class (born 27 August!) and while he was in Reception, I refused to make him do homework. If he wanted to read fine, I tried to encourage it as a routine and make it fun, but if he had a bad day or was tired, I just left him alone. Just like your DS, he did fine with everything else in school, so that was enough for me!
Now he's in Year 1, he struggled a bit with spelling some of the trickier phonics (I hate those bloody phonics) but otherwise he copes very well.
I had the best proof that giving him some space is the right thing to do, after the Christmas hols. I did not do one minute of reading or spelling with him during the break, and after the first week back at school, I got a note from the teacher saying what great progress he made with reading and spelling!

Patilla Wed 22-Jan-14 18:49:22

We get told to do five minutes a day. DS is the oldest in his reception class but still finds it hard work to keep up the concentration so I just let him read a few pages and stop when he gets tired, which is usually close enough to the five minute mark. We would never manage twenty mins.

Why don't you get an egg timer/download it onto your phone and play a "let's see how far we can get today" and when the time runs out have a chilled drink and biscuit and praise him.

The next day you read what he did today, or you discuss it together then pick off from where you ended.

Given where he is I also wouldn't be expecting him to do every word, I'd read out at least half and maybe two thirds and just pick simple words for him to try. I'd make those similar words each time.

I'm no teacher but ds really lacks confidence and it gets knocked easily so we have had to take it more slowly than he actually could do it if he were more confident.

I hope this helps

wouldbemedic Wed 22-Jan-14 18:50:55

And I also wouldn't be afraid to step back from such a formal education at so young an age. In Germany your son would be skipping around with a ball until he's seven...and doing better in his academic career further down the line! You're right to have tried and right to feel there's a limit to the distress a child should be experiencing, especially at such a young age and being young in the year. Anyone who loves reading and has any intuition when it comes to learning will understand that this is not the way to learn. It may also have a detrimental impact on your son's self-image and identity as a student - this could be difficult to shift. My DH, at 35, is only now beginning to realise he's so much more than a 'dumb dyslexic kid'....that's what a what-size-fits-all education did for him. And don't let anyone tell you it's a moral issue. It's not. Any kid who will keep trying to the point that he's sick with trying isn't lacking in motivation. It's your job as a parent to empower your child by ensuring there is a reasonable chance that he will be able to reach the goals that are presented to him - with a fair amount of effort. If the goals are out of reach right now and it just isn't happening, what does it really matter? Try again, next month, next year. That's character.

foreverondiet Wed 22-Jan-14 18:52:02

Ridic - when my kids in reception first books not until jan and even then only for most able (eg my dd with October birthday) and only one or if you really wanted 2 a week. Go at your own pace.

Altinkum Wed 22-Jan-14 18:53:07

Please note, I am reading to him at home, we read together every night.

I do 20 mins work with him everyday, Monday to Sunday, he loves it. We are currently learning about the difference between small and large, lengths, heights etc... He's loving it.

Today's word in his book was Tim and dug... So we sound it out by clapping (teacher wants it done this way) and then sound it out without the claps... He still cannot blend them even if he's saying them.

I'm not saying I want to stop them completely, he gets homework everyday, today we have had to colour all the same shapes in one colour, he loved it.

Reading is becoming something it shouldn't be, hence why I think we need to take a break from reading books, he does all other work with no issue.

He is speech delayed and has what his specialist call "backing", so even with him sounding out the word, it sounds nothing like the word. Hence why I don't think he can do it.

JingleBrains Wed 22-Jan-14 18:53:16

I guess what I'm trying to say is, whatever you do, don't make him upset. There are ways of making reading and spelling fun - some good advice here of course, also I for example use magnetic letters on the fridge and foam letters in the bath and DS enjoys them most days

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