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To be annoyed that someone is selling clothes that I gifted to them

(191 Posts)
lollipoppi Wed 22-Jan-14 10:32:18

So my DPs cousin had a baby

I mentioned that have tons of clothes from DD that she is welcome to have if she likes which she accepted

When I went round to give her the clothes there were 4 bin bags full. I said for her to go through them in her own time and whatever she doesn't want to just give me back as a few of my friends are also pregnant at the mo and they could be passed on

Anyway il get to the point that she has been selling ALL these clothes on a local selling site in bundles, even clothes that wouldn't even for her DD just yet!

Oh along with her DS1 birthday present that we bought him less than 2 weeks ago!

Charlesroi England Wed 22-Jan-14 10:36:44

YANBU. If you'd given them to her unconditionally, fair enough, but you didn't. I'd ask her if she'd sorted through what you gave her and could you have the ones she didn't want back, so you can pass them on to your other friends.

Ragwort Wed 22-Jan-14 10:52:11

As Charles says, mention it immediately (as tactfully as possible) otherwise you will end up feeling really bitter about this. Good luck.

SkinnybitchWannabe Wed 22-Jan-14 11:01:02

Yanbu. Cheeky cow! I'd ask for it all back and some of the money she made.
So bloody rude of her.

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks England Wed 22-Jan-14 11:04:56

YANBU you made it clear when you gave them that you wanted them back, therefore she is being very unreasonable to sell them on.
You need to have a word with her and ask for all the items back, every last one of them. She clearly does not appreciate your gesture.

GhostsInSnow Wed 22-Jan-14 11:05:16

Comment on her sale thread 'Oh, I see you got doubles of the clothes I gave you?'

squoosh Wed 22-Jan-14 11:06:29

She's a cheeky cow, however you used the term 'gifted' so I'm having difficulty deciding who is the bigger sinner.

TheNumberfaker Wed 22-Jan-14 11:06:58

Yanbu. Say something now. Some people are so cheeky!

AwfulMaureen Wed 22-Jan-14 11:09:08

YANBU! It's very rude of her. My sister gave me bags of her DS's clothes...I have girls but she said they were for my good friend...she took them gratefully and never in a million would I or she have sold them!

Crowler Wed 22-Jan-14 11:09:40

I'd consider this a fatal friendship error. I would not continue a relationship with someone who did this, it's appalling behavior.

isthereanynameavailable Wed 22-Jan-14 11:10:31

I think she is being unreasonable and to sell on a local site where you are likely to see it is just stupid.

However, do you know what their financial situation is? Are they really short of money? This may well justify (slightly) her selling the clothes. If not then she is ungrateful as well as unreasonable.

sebsmummy1 Wed 22-Jan-14 11:10:39

Oh my good god I would be so fucking angry!!!! Are you sure they are the clothes you gave her?

summertimeandthelivingiseasy Wed 22-Jan-14 11:13:02

I would do as suggested above, with the clothes.

With presents, just give her the second hand value of what you were going to buy - it will save her the hassle of selling it wink

Sweetart Wed 22-Jan-14 11:13:39

I'd be really offended too. when I lent a friend of mine the best baby clothes that I was saving for posterity,she car-booted them sad

puntasticusername Wed 22-Jan-14 11:13:44

Ooh! If you made it very clear that you wanted back any clothes she didn't want, then she is being very U. Agree with the others, raise it with her now, don't let it fester and become a long term resentment.

Selling her child's birthday present so soon is a bit off too. It might be because he didn't like it, got duplicates etc but one should do it more discreetly...

How is she fixed financially, in general? If she's very hard up (ie selling the clothes/toys so she can buy the kids food) I'd be prepared to be sympathetic. If she's just pulling a fast one...less so.

sebsmummy1 Wed 22-Jan-14 11:15:41

My sister also gave me all her baby clothes and continues to do so as her boys grow out of them. Her friend has offered me some too for the new baby. What I do (as I'm normal and not an entitled unspeakable) is be extremely grateful. Use them, wash them, and then bundle them back up as my son grows out of them and pass them back, so she can lend them out again to other friends.

What I would never contemplate is using them and then selling them. As that is outrageously rude and against the generous spirit by which they were 'gifted' to me.

sebsmummy1 Wed 22-Jan-14 11:16:53

I swear my blood pressure has just gone up and it's not even happening to me!!!!

summertimeandthelivingiseasy Wed 22-Jan-14 11:20:26

If it was the 'wrong' present, she could have got back to you for the receipt and exchanged it!

Nataleejah Wed 22-Jan-14 11:22:08

That's a lesson to learn -- don't give people stuff they don't need or want. Clothes in particular.

BookroomRed Wed 22-Jan-14 11:22:28

Is 'gifted' different to 'gave'? I'm asking seriously - is there a nuance of meaning I'm missing?

Nataleejah Wed 22-Jan-14 11:23:53

Also i wouldn't see hand-me-down items as gifts. Sorry sad

Crowler Wed 22-Jan-14 11:24:26

I'm with sebsmummy, I'm furious on your behalf. What a cow.

bodygoingsouth Wed 22-Jan-14 11:25:42

that's bloody cheeky op I would be furious.

CocktailQueen Wed 22-Jan-14 11:26:22

YANBU. I know you gave them to her but you also asked her to go through them and return any to you she wouldn;t use, so you could use them. That's really rude. As is selling a present!!!
I'd have a word now, or else you'll just resent it.

helenthemadex Wed 22-Jan-14 11:32:24

YANBU because you had asked for the things she didnt want back. I would ask for them its not right of her to sell them

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