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'some cultures expect little boys to sit when they wee'

(50 Posts)
4horsesforcourses Wed 22-Jan-14 09:46:23

note home from nursery on progress, contained this line referring to my son. 'xxxx sat on the toilet independently. Next steps: Encourage independence and ensure staff awareness that some cultures expect little boys to sit when they wee'.

I'm a bit confused Don't many many 3 yr olds do this??? Plus our english is great as we're bi-lingual, not EAL, so seems even odder. I presume we present as pretty english!

I just don't have the urge to clean wee off the seat whenever he goes, so he can stand up as soon as he works it out for himself.

TheNightIsDark Wed 22-Jan-14 09:49:38

confused How odd!! I work in a nursery and I've never felt the need to mention to parents whether they have a sitter or stander and wouldn't dream of mentioning it as cultural differences!

It's development anyway. You start by sitting them on a potty, they then sit on toilet and eventually stand. In theory anyway. DS is 4.9 and still sits.

HaymitchAbarnathy Wed 22-Jan-14 09:50:56

I would expect even little boys to stand up to pee, unless they are already sitting down for a poo. I suppose it must be a cultural thing, I've never really thought about it. I don't think the nursery were being particularly unreasonable but I also don't know why they bothered putting that in a note to you - surely that is a note for them?

TheNightIsDark Wed 22-Jan-14 09:52:25

Unless they see other boys or men standing up to wee they don't know it's an option tbh.

iliketea Wed 22-Jan-14 09:52:42

Actually, in Germany and Austria (and probably other countries too), it's common for boys and men to sit while they wee. There are even signs in communal toilets!! And it saves dribbles on the toilet seat smile

BeCool Wed 22-Jan-14 09:52:55

I dated a guy who sat down when he wee'd. It guess you could describe it as a 'cultural' thing.

DayAfterYesterday Wed 22-Jan-14 09:53:12

D's didn't stand to pee until he was 6, he eventually seen the other boys do it at school and caught on, I'm sure they all do it eventually.
I wish he still sat tbh, less mess!

UriGeller Wed 22-Jan-14 09:53:38

Does the note mean that some staff aren't aware that little boys sit to wee?

Maybe the staff member comes from a culture where little boys stand to wee and the note is to let you know that if your ds says anything about it, its because this staff member said "where i come from, little boys stand to wee" or something.

(Clutching at straws here!)

GlitzAndGiggles Wed 22-Jan-14 09:54:04

My 3yo nephew sits and born to English parents so I don't really think it's a cultural thing. He is learning to stand and pee he just can't get his aim right atm

Artandco Wed 22-Jan-14 09:55:41

My children sit, and think dh does at home. I don't want wee everywhere! I also thought under 5s should be encouraged to sit as encourages them to make a bowel movement at the same time. Otherwise they can get constipated as little ones stand, wee and go

I thought all little boys learned to wee sitting down until they discover that they can do it standing up in the garden? grin Most odd. Where are you/ they from/ living if we may ask?

4horsesforcourses Wed 22-Jan-14 09:55:52

It was a note/ simple progress sheet. We get them every now and then. Stuff like 'xxx picked up a dinosaur and said big, showing awareness of xxx'

I'm not upset at all, just confused as to the train of thought of someone writing that! IT's hardly an early years goal.

dd sat to pee until he was tall enough to get his willy over the rim of the toilet (around 3 probably). I preferred him to stand as a sit down pee required him to strip his bottom half of clothing, including his shoes, as he peed everywhere otherwise

UriGeller Wed 22-Jan-14 09:56:20

Oh, my 12 yo ds sits to wee. He's the only male in the house I know not to blame when I see pee splashes round the toilet!

ds, not dd!

4horsesforcourses Wed 22-Jan-14 09:57:17

We're in London
They are English, of South Asian by descent
We're Eastern European, but I grew up here.

lilyaldrin Wed 22-Jan-14 09:59:13

It sounds like the wording of the note is aimed at the staff rather than you - I would imagine there was an issue in the past with a staff member telling boys that they had to stand up to wee, and parents were irritated.

Swanbridge Wed 22-Jan-14 09:59:17

My DH sits to wee at home. DS sits to wee at home most of the time unless he fancies standing up. He probably gets less panicking from me about "lift the seat! Watch where you're aiming!" when he's sitting.

Bizarre comment. So what if he's sitting or standing? He's controlling his wee and getting it in the right place.

youmakemydreams Wed 22-Jan-14 10:00:07

Ds1 is 7 and prefers to sit to wee. He can stand but can't be bothered to worry about aim and stuff. He also prefers the option of buggering about with the hand soap and things hmm it never occurred to me that it could be a problem. His dad come from a German family and he was encouraged to sit down and wee and mostly still does so it may be cultural but an odd thing to comment on.

squoosh Wed 22-Jan-14 12:28:10

I think it just sounds like someone who is very thorough in the recording of detail on the child's progress sheets and has perhaps been on a cultural awareness course and is keen to implement what they've learnt.

MadIsTheNewNormal Wed 22-Jan-14 12:32:51

My DH will sit to wee when he's at home. I find it odd, but I think it's because if he needs number 2s as well (which he does, frequently as he has IBS) he can't be bothered to be up and down like a yo-yo, plus in the morning before he's put his lenses in, it stops it missing the bowl!

They probably have to put stuff like that in to prove to ofsted they are promoting diversity. grin
My dts are 3 and stand up to wee, I wish they would sit down and do it, at least that way some of it would go in the toilet. <sighs>

DaddyPigsMistress Wed 22-Jan-14 12:41:06

my toddler just started nursery and on our starters notes it asks that boys sit down to wee. Less mess apparently.

If a child goes home and is upset at being told to stand to wee, then the parent would address this, usually they complain (my DD works in a multi cultural nursery).

The Nursery is just showing that they are aware that different cultures have different ways of doing things, this is across all aspects if child rearing.

The Nursery are explaining what has happened previously and that they recognise that staff training was needed (you can work (train) in a Nursery from 14).

They should be commended for the thoroughness of the feedback.

I don't see the problem, parents, especially those with different customs/diet etc like to know that they are being respected and if a mistake does happen that it will be addressed and communicated back.

sashh Wed 22-Jan-14 12:46:35

I think it's fairly a fairly standard note. There are differences in how people pee and a nursery should know that, and it seems they do.

It's like role playing making tea, it might be a teabag in a mug in a microwave, a pot with leaves and an electric kettle or a pan on the hob with milk and cardamon added. All (and combinations) are acceptable and it's wrong for a member of staff to say "no, you don't make tea like that" but in a note home it might describe the way the tea was role-played and a note that the nursery is aware of different cultures.

OP and the staff are doing that, telling your little boy it is fine to sit on the toilet to pee.

And for anyone who hasn't come across this before some men sit and then take some toilet paper to hold in their hand, in front of dangling willy so that there is no splash / scatter.

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