To have banned my daughter from watching tv?

(25 Posts)

Dd1 is currently upstairs crying and having a strop because I have banned her from tv.
Bit of background, all my kids are early risers, baby wakes at 5.30, older kids at 6. I wish they would sleep until 7 but alas no luck. I allow them to watch tv in the morning for half an hour to allow me chance to come round and have a coffee and fag in relative peace.
Dd1 is never hungry at this time, I like to start breakfast at 6.30 to get it out of the way, then they get dressed, brush teeth, do hair etc before we set off to school at 8.10
I know it's no fun eating when you aren't hungry so I allow dd1 to get dressed first and get completely ready for school before having breakfast a little later. This morning I sent her upstairs at 6.30 to get dressed. She has just come downstairs now in her pants and vest and had an enormous argument with her older brother because he has switched tv over from Sophia the bloody first to football, and she has stormed off upstairs with the remote. I've taken the remote from her and banned her for the rest of the day for her selfishness and bad attitude. I wouldn't mind but The prog she was watching was a bloody recording anyway so it's not like its gone forever. She moans chronically any time there's any program on which isn't what she wants to watch, and drags her feet and procrastinates about getting dressed, her tight seams annoy her, her collar won't sit right, she can't fasten her zip on her skirt, the skirt is too tight and the jumper is itchy. Don't even get me started on doing her hair. She's 7.5yo and frankly I expect better behaviour than this!
Wibu?

Gileswithachainsaw Wed 22-Jan-14 07:22:12

Yanbu.

My seven yr old can be just as bloody stroppy it does my head in. She's not happy unless she's playing the victim. I don't have any advice but here's your

brew &biscuit

Well I'm not sure. I think your morning routine could do with some tweaking. Can they have turns on the tv while the other is getting dressed or something? She sounds a bit obsessed with tv to be honest, so withdrawing it is sensible.

YANBU. TV isn't necessary in the morning whilst you're meant to be getting dressed/packing school bag/eating breakfast

OuterFromOutersville Wed 22-Jan-14 07:28:27

Not actually answering the OP, but aren't there lots of threads about some children being sensitive to seams / materials etc, and also lots of useful solutions?

Gileswithachainsaw Wed 22-Jan-14 07:37:56

cheap polyester uniforms of course wouldn't be uncomfortable sadly who can afford lovely cotton ones sad

jamdonut Wed 22-Jan-14 07:46:42

Don't know what to say about watching the tv,but sounds like banning her for the rest of the day was a good idea.

But, could it be that her skirt actually is a bit tight? We have girls getting changed after PE who find it incredibly difficult to get into their skirts/trousers because they actually are too tight for them! Some parents seem to think that the age sizing in kids clothes is everything, despite their child being obviously bigger! An adult might put up with a bit of discomfort and sit in tight clothes, but for a child it is uncomfortable.

Artandco Wed 22-Jan-14 07:50:52

I would get them all up dressed/ showered/ teeth. Only then downstairs and breakfast. Tv only goes on when they are sitting on sofa in shoes and coat ready to leave if time ( although prob easier to just not have)

At 7 years I would not expect them to get up if you have said not time. Just say any time before 7am is night. If they wake before they can quietly read books in bed. Buy them a digital clock so they know the time. Only baby is exception. If they find that boring they might decide to sleep longer instead

Theas18 Wed 22-Jan-14 08:02:10

I'm with artandco if 7am is getting up time then it's quite activities in bedrooms till then if they wake early- at least for schoolies.

Then get up and ready for school before the TV goes on. I'd be really mean and say that actually all the bigger kids need to be ready and decide together what to watch - judgment of solomon and all that- no agreement = no TV! (and maybe just maybe a degree of cooperation- if your brother can't find his reading book he isn't ready, you can sit and moan at him or help him find it!)

good luck! Rules are actually OK but there will be rebellion if they are new rules - ride it through as you did the "don't want to stay in bed" when they were toddlers.

we had a lot of this " I was watching that" type arguments when whoever was complaining had gone to get dressed/washed so I stopped tv going on before school at all, only thing we may put on is the news. got a lot of complaining to begin with but it seems accepted now that no kids tv programmes go on in the morning, a pain to begin with but best thing I ever did. aside from that I would check the sizes of the clothes just in case.

froubylou Wed 22-Jan-14 08:18:27

I had this with dd who is now 9. Terrible tellyhead in the morning. Used to let her get dressed in front of the tv where it was warmer. Used to take her so long because she was gawping at stuff she had watched before.

I now insist on her being dressed, teeth, face and hair brushed before she comes downstairs. Then she has breakfast, gets her shoes coat and bag ready and only then can she watch tv. And we only have bbc news on.

Still have morning stress occasionally but much less than when we had bastard Disney channel blaring out.

Marylou62 Wed 22-Jan-14 08:21:41

Just want to say that all the above sounds like typical NORMAL family life! As a nanny, I got there at 6.30 ( I know, should be double time!!) Kids generally all up. I let them watch tv till 7.30 and they all had to agree what to watch. If any arguments, I just went in and switched it off!! No discussion, just got the remote and switched of, then walked away. Of course they grumbled.. Funny listening to quiet rows! Then breakfast, dressed etc. IF everyone ready, then maybe on for another 20 mins. At exactly 5 mins before leaving time, tv off again. Sometimes even when programme not finished! Funny, but I would test them on what that programme was and they never remembered! As awful as that time in my life was, now all mine are grown up I strangely miss it!!

3monkeys Wed 22-Jan-14 08:23:27

Another vote for no TV. We used to have 10 minutes once they were all ready at 8.30, and that was Thomas and then Fifi on milkshake for DS2 who was only little. Now there is no TV at all. Mine getup at 7.30 ish and the older 2 are gone by now

Well the seams/itching thing she only does as a stalling tactic, she has cotton tights which are seamless, cotton shirt, she wears knickers and vest inside out so there aren't any seams, so I know she's just swinging the lead with that.
I'm up at that time with baby anyhow and it usually makes for a more relaxing morning as both the older two are prone to dawdle whether the tv is on or not.
I might try the news only option or the decide between you or it goes off tactic with the tv in future

MistyB Wed 22-Jan-14 08:31:25

We have stopped TV in the morning and three days in, I have had to get my 4 and 7 year old out of bed. My 9 year old hangs out with me in the kitchen while I get stuff ready and all round it has been more relaxed and less rushed. It will be interesting to see how the dynamic changes when DH returns from his work trip.

Nataleejah Wed 22-Jan-14 08:50:34

YANBU. Tv the first thing in the morning is very distracting, especially if children are struggling with routine. We have a tv in the kitchen, so the only thing that's on in the morning is news.

pointythings Wed 22-Jan-14 09:05:21

I don't allow TV while they're having breakfast and never have. My DDs were dreadful breakfast eaters at that age and what I found worked was allowing them to read while they ate breakfast.

These days I leave before they do as they're older, but it's still no TV until I go, by which time they have had breakfast, have had their hair done and are fully ready for school.

Chopstheduck Wed 22-Jan-14 09:09:06

I do what Marylou does - If they start arguing I switch it off! It's up to them to resolve their arguments so it can go back on. My youngest are 8 (twins)

I do wonder, if she was already watching something it does seem a little mean just to ban her. Did her brother realise she had been watching something earlier? If the tv was up for being changed every time someone left the room for a minute or two in our house, all hell would break lose.

Chopstheduck Wed 22-Jan-14 09:10:10

I also turn it off if they are sitting down and not ready or left a mess in the kitchen, etc. For some reason jsut switching it off seems to be far more effective than trying to reason with them.

Supercosy Wed 22-Jan-14 09:13:07

Sounds annoying for you and an aggravating start to the day. We don't have any TV in the morning. My Dd would be a telly addict if we allowed her and TV first thing would send make her even more dozy and reluctant to get ready than usual!

claraschu Wed 22-Jan-14 09:13:19

TV puts lots of kids into a bad mood, I think. To me, it's a little bit like junk food for the mind and spirit.

I wouldn't have TV in the morning, when everyone is supposed to be starting out with a fresh energetic outlook for the new day (ok, I know I am being idealistic and maybe annoying, but when children are primary aged you can still have a shot at creating the atmosphere you want for them).

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea Wed 22-Jan-14 09:15:45

I agree with everyone who says turn the TV off in the morning for everyone, it's not a good start.

legspinner Wed 22-Jan-14 09:19:50

YANBU. No TV on school mornings for us, we learned the hard way...

sanschocolat Wed 22-Jan-14 09:23:50

Agree with no tv at all before school.

Also, if it's any help op, suggest giving dc something similar to this on a clip board, and let them tick off the tasks as they go.

We used one for dd and (although it's not always perfect by any means) it transformed our mornings! She is 10 yrs now and still uses a more sophisticated version of the same thing. It stops all the nagging and puts the responsibility back on to them - and they like being in control of it.

HTH!

hillyhilly Wed 22-Jan-14 09:25:13

No telly here in the morning.
My dd (9) and DS (6) stay in bed reading if they wake before our radio comes on at 6.50. Then they cone in for cuddle time and we all head off to get dressed at about 7.15,
Dressed, teeth done and down for breakfast by 7.40, leave table at 8 to get shoes, hair brushed etc and ready to go at 8.20 - thats the theory anyway!
Once they're at school, kids are perfectly able to understand that just because they are awake does not mean that everyone else should/ wants to be. My DS has always been an early riser but it didn't take all that long for him to stick to the ' we do not want to see you until you can hear the radio' rule.

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